Should she offer half the money?

[saltlakecity]

I'm going to a friend's wedding early next year. I booked a hotel room for a few days as it's not in this country so a one nighter wouldn't be enough. The hotel was booking up so I invited another friend (also going to the wedding) to share my room. The problem is this has been booked for a while now and we've met up a couple of times but she hasn't offered me any money for it.

The room cost £360 for the few nights we are there. I don't know if aibu as I would have stayed there regardless so maybe she just saw it as tagging on to a room already booked (right I guess) but I can't help but feel a bit put out. The wedding has already cost me over £500 with flights too. Getting half the room cost covered would be really handy. Aibu? Wwyd?

No because you are still way out of pocket.

"Hi, I meant to say when I saw you last week that I paid for the hotel room for Melisandre's wedding up front, and it would be great to get your half when you're ready - it's not a pay on the day thing. Do you have my bank details from last time? If not, here they are: XXXXXXXX, s/c XXXXXX. Thank you! Saltlake xx"

Say this in an email

She'd lose out more that £80 by doing it that way

£360 plus £100 = £460

Half is £230 each.

If the friend pays £100 then the op will still have paid £360. She will have lost much more than £80

Surprised someone who I've seen so outspoken on other threads wouldn't pipe up to be honest!

She probably hasn't even realised you've paid. People aren't mind readers and unless you've said you've paid, probably assumes you pay on check out.

Is a bit rude that she hasn't even thought to mention money at all when you have kindly offered to share the room. But then depends on your friendship and how it's previously gone...I have one friend who when we do things its unspoken, she drove to wherever, so I bought lunch. I bought lunch so she bought coffees. We don't really speak about it.

I wouldn't complicate it by getting her to pay for the other bit, you've still got to ask her for the remainder of what's owed to you. Sure she'll be mortified you're out of pocket... When she eventually knows you are

Not sure what you mean - is it that you will suggest to her that she books herself a £100 room? And I assume it's still available. Presumably that will be smaller than yours - so she has the option of sharing a larger room, or paying less & having a smaller room to herself?

You need to be clear to her about what you want, and therefore what her options are - you'd pay the money anyway but you would have a room to yourself if she doesn't join in. How much is that worth to you?

Sea rabbit. The second room is for a different weekend/different event we are going to.

She isn't tagging on to a room you have paid for unless she could have got free accommodation elsewhere though. Just ask her!

She probably thinks you'll split the bill on checkout. That's how I've always done it when sharing a room and wouldn't occur to me to offer money beforehand as usually you pay at checkout.

Just speak to your friend!

Hi friend, just realised I don't think I told you that I've had to pay in advance for the hotel room for the wedding and it was £X. Please can you transfer !y? Thanks. Also, for this other wedding do you want to share again? Looks like the rooms are about £X at the moment, want me to book or do you want to?

if I was friend I would just think you hadn't paid yet since you hadn't asked!

You should have been more upfront when you first said. I think it sounds like she thinks she doesn't need to pay anything tbh.

You need to bring it up "btw I've forgotten if I mentioned the cost of the room? It's X each, would it be easier for you to do a bank transfer?"

Job done.

So what happened in the end? Did you bring it up?