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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To confront two kids in the cinema

82 replies

CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2015 16:57

Who were continuously kicking the back of my and dc's chair during the movie? They looked to be about 8 and 10. The second time I turned round and told them to stop, they sniggered. I couldn't see their parents in it was so dark. Then near the end, their dad swapped seats and sat behind me. The kicking stopped.

At the end of the movie, I raised to the dad how throughout the movie and telling his sons to stop twice, they were still kicking and sniggering. I said it politely so that he was aware. He launched into an attack saying his kids don't do this kind of thing and that they are not little kids. And he said I should have raised it with him first (difficult to do as I couldn't identify him easily and didn't want to make a scene more than it was). He really wasn't up for listening to my side so I walked off. Literally.

OP posts:

bessarabiantiger · 04/10/2015 17:12

I'm not allowed to the cinema with my eldest after I made an entire row of teenagers apologise to her for ruining the end of a film once.

They were all being noisy and using phones so as they tried to leave i blocked the aisle, announced loudly but politely that they'd upset an eight year old and made every single one apologise to her as they left.

I have also sat on someone who wouldn't stop using their phone during a performance (my logic being they had a better view and if they weren't using it I would), have loudly bellowed at someone else that if I wanted their feet on my seat I'd have bought their shoes a fucking ticket, and sat upside-down on my seat to wave my legs in front of the guy who thought it was fine to drape his bare feet next to my face.

We have a projector at home now.

FattyNinjaOwl · 04/10/2015 17:19

Bess I love you
OP you were a hell of a lot more polite than I would have been. I had this problem when II last took DS to the cinema
I told them if they didn't stop kicking his seat then I would sit and kick them repeatedly in the balls. (They were older teens and I was only 23 so I figured it was fair when they are kicking a 6 year olds seat) I think they knew I was serious as they stopped

Original poster

CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2015 17:23

Of course if I could see their Mum and dad easily I would have spoken to them during the movie but I really didn't want to make a bigger scene than it already was. What disturbs me is that the parents are SO READY to believe a stranger is willing to pick on their innocent children. If someone had complained to my parents, my Mum would have been hugely ashamed and apologised and I would have got 5 of the best when I got home!! I am sometimes loosing faith on this generation of molly coddling and sense of entitlement. I know that's a huge sweeping statement but I've run into a few incidents like these lately and don't know if it is me that seems to attract trouble or whether I don't stand for shit!

OP posts:

Original poster

CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2015 17:24

Bess I love you too!!

OP posts:

EvilTwins · 04/10/2015 17:25

YWNBU to tell them to stop, but YWBU to raise it again afterwards. If the dad swapped places with the DC, then he clearly knew there was an issue, and he had taken action to deal with it.

Original poster

CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2015 17:26

Thanks Evil. I agree :)

OP posts:

lazyglazy · 04/10/2015 17:29

I really don't see why he should have expected you to raise it with him first. Parents like this make me sick. You were doing no harm in speaking straight to the ones doing it...the children. That should have been enough. I've never let my kids kick the back of seats, making them aware of other people's rights to sit in peace without being bugged by kids is a parents duty. Until the thick parents do this the kids will unfortunately know no better.

EponasWildDaughter · 04/10/2015 17:37

Fiddling with phones, fidgeting and taking seems common place now in cinemas.

Last time i went to the cinema it was to see Woman in Black and the whole of the time there were a pair of teens kicking the back of my chair, fiddling about with stuff and talking. I turned round a couple of times and gave them a hard stare, but it didn't seem to work.

I sat there fuming so much that i wasn't watching the film properly.

Eventually i turned around and said in a really loud voice ''DO YOU MIND NOT sitting there kicking my chair and talking all through this (bloody?) film?!?''.

They stopped and sat still.
But to be honest the whole experience had been ruined for me already and i vowed not to go back to the cinema again at a time when there was any chance of there being more than one or two other people in there with me. And i haven't.

cruikshank · 04/10/2015 17:42

This is why there should be ushers in cinemas - because there are so many thick twats out there who can't be trusted to behave themselves. OP, are you in London? Only, in the Barbican they have ushers who stay throughout the whole film and don't shy away from having words with anyone who talks/gets their phone out etc - they even stop people from eating. It is utter utter bliss!

EvilTwins · 04/10/2015 17:43

I have no issue with telling other people off in the cinema. It annoys me even more in the theatre. I took 50 kids to see An Inspector Calls at the theatre this week and was really annoyed that a DC from a different school was sitting two rows in front of me texting. He was just too far away for me to poke his shoulder I also once told off an adult who was singing along at a West End performance of Phantom. I told her I'd paid to hear the performers, not her. She shut up but gave me filthy looks for the rest of the show.

MistressChalk · 04/10/2015 17:48

Bess I think you might have to come with me to the cinema every time I go now!

I'm usually way too 'well mannered' (ie. Scared of confrontation) to say anything to the twats in their phones or talking but it drives me insane.

I did it once to a couple who were talking and giggling constantly through a film right behind me, I span round in my chair and lunged over the back like a woman possessed and gave them a good hissing to. They were French and couldn't understand me since then I've kept my mouth shut!

shiteforbrains · 04/10/2015 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 04/10/2015 17:56

Yanbu at all.
We saw annabell had had some teens kicking the chairs, chatting, talking on their phones and generally being twats.
I asked twice nicely before i turned around and shouted at them.
It stopped them for a while before they started again.
Then my huge dp told them.
They shut up then but they'd ruined the film.
They certainly hurried out the cinema when the film ended though

kali110 · 04/10/2015 17:56

Lol shite i love that film!

bessarabiantiger · 04/10/2015 18:00

Life is too short to be irritated by people with no manners. That said I am the size of a tank and terrifying to look at so my experiences may be different to others (I have no qualms about bowling up to someone playing music from their phone on a bus and bellowing "DO YOU DO REQUESTS? I WANT THE MACARENA!")

The only way to deal with this rubbish is to engage with your inner-drunk. Behave so bafflingly as to brook no disagreement. Growl, sit on people, speak very loudly (but never impolitely) confuses the fuck out of them. It's also very liberating, yes, my film may have been ruined, but I have a great story to tell.

Invest in a projector - £400 = about three trips to the cinema P/A for a family of three if you include drinks & popcorn. We now invite people here, make our own popcorn and behave as well or badly as we want. We can have a popcorn war without upsetting the public, or we can be ever-so-shush without having to deal with the public.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/10/2015 18:03

Defensive parent over their child being disciplined because they're too lazy to do it. It's almost as though they're allergic to shouting at their little poppets!.
Small wonder we're in such a state!.

pudcat · 04/10/2015 18:04

It seems to be the way of the world these days, that most people are selfish and are incapable of thinking of others.

bessarabiantiger · 04/10/2015 18:06

I would be an awesome usher. I would have Losely tubs in a tray (natch) and a fucking Nerf gun.

MistressChalk · 04/10/2015 18:13

And perhaps a foghorn for blasting into the ears of those engrossed in their phones?

herecomesthsun · 04/10/2015 18:18

hmm well I took mine aged 2 and 6 to see Paddington at New Year and they wanted to cheer every time Paddington Bear appeared. Mind you, the people next to us seemed to think it was rather cute. DS, who is now 7, has tendencies to fidget and kick the seat. I do my best to curb these.

I think if we are going to see a children's film I expect some degree of disruption/ sweet rustling etc. from other people and have high tolerance levels. If it is not a children's film, I wouldn't be going because mine are too small.

We haven't got as far as films that would attract teens yet, I imagine that could be another kettle of fish, though I can't imagine offering to kick other cinema goers in the balls myself. Presumably its a balance between wanting your kids to have a good time in the cinema, and being appropriately assertive, and mirroring behaviour you would want them to copy at school etc.?

Mmmmcake123 · 04/10/2015 18:19

Bess Love the idea of connecting with inner drunk
Cookie yanbu at the beginning but once dad swapped seats there was no need to raise it again. Child may have attention difficulties if dad had to move seats rather than get him to stop

Spectre8 · 04/10/2015 18:22

When it happens I tell them the first time if they continue I quickly go get staff member and eject them, best revenge ever.

TheSnowFairy · 04/10/2015 18:27

DH told off a man in the cinema who was on his phone AND went and got the usher when he last took our boys to the cinema (they were v impressed). So bloody rude. He did put it away though.

bess you are a

MistressChalk · 04/10/2015 18:29

Herecomes for me if its a children's film I expect to hear from the little ones in the cinema! A friend and I went to see Paddington (sans children) and it was predictably full of toddlers and young children. They all behaved beautifully and we were very impressed. Not so impressed by the parents on their phones the whole time because 'they are only their because the kids wanted to see it and would be bored otherwise'. No no that's fine fuck the rest of us who also paid money to sit here because we wanted to watch it.

bessarabiantiger · 04/10/2015 18:30

here Harry bloody Potter. Be glad you missed the cinema era...

mmmmmmm people are generally so startled by bizarre behaviour that they become super well-behaved themselves. Either that or you have to run really fast...

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