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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To confront two kids in the cinema

82 replies

CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2015 16:57

Who were continuously kicking the back of my and dc's chair during the movie? They looked to be about 8 and 10. The second time I turned round and told them to stop, they sniggered. I couldn't see their parents in it was so dark. Then near the end, their dad swapped seats and sat behind me. The kicking stopped.

At the end of the movie, I raised to the dad how throughout the movie and telling his sons to stop twice, they were still kicking and sniggering. I said it politely so that he was aware. He launched into an attack saying his kids don't do this kind of thing and that they are not little kids. And he said I should have raised it with him first (difficult to do as I couldn't identify him easily and didn't want to make a scene more than it was). He really wasn't up for listening to my side so I walked off. Literally.

OP posts:

Allbymyselfagain · 05/10/2015 09:35

bessa you're my new idol.

I had this is a restaurant once, stupid banquette seating with a child rocking heavily back and forth. Bad back meant it caused a sharp pain running down my legs every time. I asked the child (about 11 so not young) to stop twice and in the end started doing it myself back to prove a point. Dad finally swapped seats after an hour of this but then I got followed to the ladies by the mother and verbally abused for picking on a child. I asked politely if the child was SN and stimming which I would have accepted as a valid excuse although still very painful and the parents should still have swapped seats earlier she said no of course not. So I replied well in that case your only angry that I had to discipline your child as you couldn't be bothered.

I hate parents like this, my mother would have been so disappointed in me if my behaviour had negatively affected someone else. I would have been made to apologise myself and my parents would probably have used that weeks pocket money to buy them a drink to apologise too. I too worry about these child growing up.

RhodaBull · 05/10/2015 09:46

It's not just children!

I went to see a film a few years ago and an elderly couple were sitting in front of me. First of all, the man was a bit deaf and at regular intervals his wife was explaining plot points. Grrrrr. Secondly, and this is where I snapped, they got out a picnic, including sandwiches in foil. I said if they did not stop rustling immediately I would fetch the manager. The old "lady" turned round and said, "Fuck off!"

wigglybeezer · 05/10/2015 09:56

I still wish I had complained to the parents who took a pair of very small children ( about 4 & 6) to see "The Life of Pi", the children asked questions in loud piping voices all the way through and the parents patiently explained everything, not once did they ask the child to stay quiet. I fumed but DH wouldn't let me tap them on the shoulder, he doesn't do confrontation.

If your kids can't sit still and stay reasonably quiet wait for the DVD!

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 05/10/2015 10:01

This drives me mad. It's so selfish to make slurping or rustling noises, talking, kicking seats or playing on a mobile phone. Every time I go I get people doing these things.

It's not hard to stay quiet while a film is on. The poster above saying a child needed the film explaining to them. Why take them to see it and ruin it for everyone else?

OnlyLovers · 05/10/2015 10:26

Imust, do you really not understand why people were 'glaring and tutting' at you?

I'd have suggested right back where you could stick your suggestion. Who do you think you are? People don't pay to sit in a film and listen to noisy eaters, fidgeters and indulgent parents explaining the whole thing.

whois · 05/10/2015 10:40

You were not U OP.

Cinema is a total rip off - nearly £12 a ticket for most places near me. So thats £24 for me and DP plus a tube fare to get there.

We wait and rent things on itunes or watch on NowTV or Netflix. The only thing we are missing is a surround sound expedience and that is on my 'to buy' list.

ConfusedInBath · 05/10/2015 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notso · 05/10/2015 11:10

Hardly anyone seems to be able to sit quietly anymore.
DH and I went to see a comedian recently and the amount of people getting up and down, talking amongst themselves, and going on their phones was so annoying.

AskingForAPal · 05/10/2015 11:14

YANBU and good for you. I was in the cinema with my mum who was a sprightly 60 or so. A couple of kids were playing up loudly behind us, they were probably about 12. She was too scared to confront them and asked me not to, as she was genuinely scared they might get violent with us. I was SO CROSS that an adult woman would be intimidated by this pair of gobshites I went over and told them to shut the fuck up, and then when they didn't immediately comply got the usher and had them kicked out. It felt so good as they obviously thought they could do whatever the hell they wanted.

I honestly think the country would be a better place if we were all a bit braver about challenging bad behaviour, when we can. Guaranteed there's someone older, frailer or less emotionally able to do so who will benefit from you standing up to selfish people.

bruffin · 05/10/2015 11:33

We go regularly (DH has cineworld and compare the meercats and we pay just £17 a month for both of us to go once a week)
The worst behaviours is mobiles out in the middle of the film and feet on the back of the seats. Sometimes we get a talker but they are not that often.
We did have an exhibitionist couple once who sat right down the front, she had bright white jeans and had her legs up on the back of the seats in front and they were not watching the film very much , then started taking selfies and in the end serveral people called in the usher. They had the cheak to bow as they were leaving the cinema.

I couldn't believe it when we went to the theatre and this woman had her mobile out texting all the way through. My ds who was 19 told her off

Andro · 05/10/2015 12:15

I did suggest that she might have been better of choosing a different seat.

Why should she have have moved? It was your party who couldn't/wouldn't behave appropriately in the cinema...not her!

Original poster

CookieDoughKid · 05/10/2015 12:28

The thing is, back to my original post. In some parts of the UK, if those boys were kicking anyone else - they'd be jumped on and beaten up as soon as they exited the cinema. These kids have to learn that undesirable consequences have actions and that their parents aren't always around to bail them out. And as for their parents, even more shocking behaviour IMO!! PAH!!

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 05/10/2015 12:28

When we took the dcs to see Hotel Transylvania at the weekend, I did have to explain some of the film to ds (he is 5, disabled and has only recently managed to sit through a film at all) - it was in a whisper, I don't think we pissed anyone off - I hope not.

cleaty · 05/10/2015 12:30

I do think cinema behaviour has become much worse. When I was young we had ushers and they would just throw anyone out who was a problem. If you talked in the film the usher told you to be quiet, a second time and you were ejected. So generally most people did behave as they didn't want to be thrown out.

cleaty · 05/10/2015 12:33

And when I was a kid, if I didnt understand the film, tough. The rule was no talking and that was it.

SeaMagic · 05/10/2015 12:39

Imust did explain it was a nearly empty theatre.... Really, would it have been such an imposition for the girl to move seats if she was so bothered by a parent explaining aspects of the plot of a superhero film to their young child?

I mean it's not some complex crime thriller where a moment's inattention means you have missed a vital aspect of the plotting or a significant clue regards the perpetrator.

Unless said parent was doing performance parenting and speaking very loudly I really cannot see what the bother is. I would expect excited and noisy children enjoying themselves in a superhero film, I would not go to one for a peaceful and reflective experience!

RhodaBull · 05/10/2015 12:39

Many cinemas have "noisy shows" where you can take children and it is expected that there may be a reasonable level of noise/going out to loo/chomping etc.

Taking lively dcs to a long and wordy film... why?

VinylScratch · 05/10/2015 12:41

People who won't discipline their children in the cinema or other similar things piss me right off. I've had seat kicking, a child standing up on the seat in front of mine and a child climbing over the seat to the row in front, running back to his seat and doing it again repeatedly, all while the parents sat there ignoring them. Fuckers. And yes I did tell the seat kicker and stander upper to pack it in, the climber was too far away but still bloody annoying.

SeaMagic · 05/10/2015 12:47

That said, I mean 'noisy' as in the children cheering when Superman [or whoever] saved the day and maybe booing or stating their dislike for the baddie... That sort of thing.

I don't mean 'noisy' as in talking loudly throughout the film or shouting they want ice cream/sweets/popocorn. That said I understand that some children may have special needs which mean they might find it more difficult to act in seemingly cinema appropriate ways at all times... However if there was continuous talking or shouting I would expect their parent to take them out for a little break and return when child has calmed down [if possible].

wigglybeezer · 05/10/2015 12:48

hazeyjane, don't worry, children having to have a children's film explained is a bit different but the parent That annoyed me had taken small children to a film that was really aimed at adults.

CerseiHeartsJaime4ever · 05/10/2015 12:54

YANBU but I think that you probably didn't scare the shit out of them enough when you told them to stop. In the cinema/theatre I use my super stern scary voice when telling people off because I don't want to have to repeat myself.

You want them to think that if they don't shut up, you are going to go bat shit. A simple "could you stop that please?" or "please be quiet" never works.

emwithme · 05/10/2015 13:14

I'm with The Oatmeal when it comes to cinemas.

OnlyLovers · 05/10/2015 14:00

Really, would it have been such an imposition for the girl to move seats if she was so bothered by a parent explaining aspects of the plot of a superhero film to their young child?

Well, yes, it is an imposition to think that it's OK for someone to have to gather all their stuff, miss some of the film they've paid to see, and move, just because a parent couldn't keep their child reasonably quiet.

I went to see Frozen in a cinema full of kids and parents and of course there was oohing, aahing, laughing etc some of it was me. That kind of engaging with the film is fine, obviously, but it's not the same as someone giving a running commentary to one child while another eats noisily and the last fidgets.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 05/10/2015 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fiverabbits · 05/10/2015 14:40

In 1968 when I was 17 I to go to the cinema with my best friend. When we was watching film about HERBIE which was a beetle car she laughed so much that she fell off the seat. Then we went to see a film about a couple who lived in a forest. The man got his leg caught in a trap and the woman had to chop it off. My friend who was sitting in an end of the aisle seat, went under the seat screaming. After that I had to tell her to behave or I wouldn't go with her again.

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