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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New baby card

41 replies

Bbqsareoverrated · 28/09/2015 22:17

A colleague's new baby card got passed round the office today. As someone with a new baby, I wanted to show support and wrote 'Congratulations! After 6 weeks, it gets much better - I promise! Good luck!'
Now I think that was silly as I have no idea how she is feeling. I just wanted to say something more personal. I like her but she's not a close friend. Was it a silly thing to write? I don't want to seem flippant if she is having real issues...

OP posts:
Doraydiego · 28/09/2015 22:25

The first six weeks are the easiest for many. So, yes it was a pretty silly thing to write, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Joopy · 28/09/2015 22:26

I think it's a good thing to acknowledge that the first few weeks are tough. People don't always like to admit when they're struggling so your comment lets her know that she is not alone in finding it hard and it gets better.

DoJo · 28/09/2015 22:28

I wouldn't worry too much - I'm sure she'll probably take it in the spirit it was intended (or barely read it because she'll be too busy gazing lovingly at her newborn...!).

RueDesTroisFreres · 28/09/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 28/09/2015 22:30

When I went on my first mat leave my team mad me a book and wrote exactly this kind of thing in it. I really appreciated it when things were tough (as they most certainly are for many in the first 6 weeks!). I remember some of those comments 6 years on in fact. I think it was a nice thing to do and not silly at all

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 22:31

I would've appreciated this

TodmordensDog · 28/09/2015 22:32

I think it was a lovely thing to write- please don't worry!

totalrecall1 · 28/09/2015 22:34

Agree its a nice comment. Nothing to worry about

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2015 22:34

I would't read too much into it.

I once wrote "legless again eh?" in the card of someone who'd come back to work after some sick leave, on crutches. I didn't realise she'd had her foot amputated Blush

Kingoftheroad · 28/09/2015 22:35

Oh for goodness sake doraydiego make op feel worse why don't you.

It wasn't a silly thing to say, it's perfectly appropriate. Most people I know would be only to happy to read a nice, supportive message please don't give yourself a hard time - there's enough people in this world who will try to do this for you. Congratulations on YOUR NEW BABY your feelings matter as well.

TheCatsMother99 · 28/09/2015 22:38

Don't worry about it. Even if she struggles before or after those 6 weeks I'm sure she will realise it was a light-hearted comment and won't read as much in to it as you possibly are. It comes across as a kind message to me.

SurlyCue · 28/09/2015 22:39

I think its fine. Its a lovely sentiment and even if she isnt having a tough time she is probably aware enough to realise that many do and wont take any offence from it. Its not offensive anyway IYSWIM. Tbh i got that many new baby cards i cant remember a single thing that was written in any of them. Apart from the few that didnt know my partner's name and wrote "to surly and family" Grin

Zippidydoodah · 28/09/2015 22:39

BikeRunSki!! Shock

I hope your colleague had a sense of houmous!

Zippidydoodah · 28/09/2015 22:40

Humour!!

Hero1callylost · 28/09/2015 22:50

such a MN typo! sense of houmous Grin

YellowDinosaur · 28/09/2015 22:53

Snorting at bikerunski Grin

I've had a couple of near misses, worth slogan cards. Both times I bought them before thankfully realising in time hope totally fucking inappropriate they were.

The first was a birthday card 'growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional'. To my friend with metastatic cancer.

The second was a sympathy card. 'it's not how far you fall that matters but how well you bounce'. To my friend whose mum had died. By commiting suicide by jumping off a bridge.

Fuck me I come over all peculiar thinking how badly those would have been taken!

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2015 22:53

She was fine about it! Very good sense of hummus (and other dips...).

Original poster
Bbqsareoverrated · 28/09/2015 22:54

Ha, BikeRunSki - no, you win!

Thanks all - I just suddenly had this 'Aagh, maybe I should have just written the same as everyone else' panic and thought others colleagues would think me in sensitive! But the reason I didn't follow their 'I'm sure you'll handle this project efficiently, like you do all projects' is because I know I felt like a new baby was a new project I definitely couldn't manage in the first few weeks!!

OP posts:
BoskyCat · 28/09/2015 22:56

I'd have been delighted with that OP!

What I found hard were the cards that said "treasure these precious early days, they pass so soon" and things like that. I was thinking Fuck! THIS IS THE BEST BIT???!!!

And I was thrilled to be a new mum, but for the first 6 weeks I was a hormonal, leaky, tearful, sleepless anxious mess.

:o at sense of houmous. Mine is finely tuned.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 28/09/2015 22:57

Doraydiego, I don't know anyone in rl for whom the first six weeks are the easiest!

I think it was fine Smile

RueDesTroisFreres · 28/09/2015 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InimitableJeeves · 28/09/2015 23:29

I'd say 6 weeks is over-optimistic, IME you need to grin and bear it for at least 3 months. So you were rash to promise it would get better!

FanOfSpam · 28/09/2015 23:32

YABU - you should've put the number for the Samaritans under your message - the first six weeks are fucking shocking.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 23:57

Nah. If I was reading it I would think it was a knowing nose poke from one mum to another.

HoursTurnIntoDays · 29/09/2015 00:04

Completely normal nice thing to write

the first 6 weeks were hard. And even if she doesn't find it hard it doesn't really matter.