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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

New baby card

41 replies

Bbqsareoverrated · 28/09/2015 22:17

A colleague's new baby card got passed round the office today. As someone with a new baby, I wanted to show support and wrote 'Congratulations! After 6 weeks, it gets much better - I promise! Good luck!'
Now I think that was silly as I have no idea how she is feeling. I just wanted to say something more personal. I like her but she's not a close friend. Was it a silly thing to write? I don't want to seem flippant if she is having real issues...

OP posts:

DaisyDando · 29/09/2015 05:44

I received similar advice when I was pregnant from a colleague and I was grateful for it when I was finding things tough. Y'know, light at the end of the tunnel stuff.
I would offer the same advice to new mum friends now.

BeaufortBelle · 29/09/2015 06:01

Message was fine. I avoid new baby cards though. I think it's just me but they always seem bizarre. Who ever heard of an old baby!

toomuchtooold · 29/09/2015 06:16

I think that's a great thing to write, she'll either feel relieved or be chuffed that she's found it so easy.

It's pretty much the exact opposite of that thing people on here sometimes do, of someone posting "tell me it will get easier, please!" and they go "it never really gets easier, it just changes". Which a) bullshit, if nothing else they will eventually sleep through the night, and also, go to school and b) why would you say that to someone who's clearly struggling and looking for a bit of hope? Drives me up the bloody wall.

MascaraAndConverse · 29/09/2015 09:14

If she pulls her face at the comment then she must have zero sense of humour!

LadyDeirdreWaggon · 29/09/2015 09:16

I tell everyone this because nobody bloody told me!

BoskyCat · 29/09/2015 09:20

I do tell friends who are pregnant for the first time "Don't worry if you feel awful a couple of weeks in, it does get much easier". Sometimes they look a bit shocked that I am not being all hearts and flowers about their prospective babymoon. They later tend to say "thank you for saying that, I would have thought I was a shit mother otherwise" etc.

Binkybix · 29/09/2015 09:27

Well I was very upset when it seemed to get even harder after the 6 weeks people had promised me, but I doubt I would have remembered a comment in a leaving card.

littleducks · 29/09/2015 09:34

I found the early days the easiest too (baby portable, but couldn't move from where you put them down and only needed milk and sleep). Everyone is different, but I wouldn't worry about it.

HackerFucker22 · 29/09/2015 09:41

OP, you're over thinking it.

First 6 weeks were horrendous with my DC1 - and he was a relatively easy baby. I don't even recall how I felt in the first 6 weeks with DC2 (I was so busy with a clingy, cluster feeding baby and a toddler I didn't have time to acknowledge how I was feeling. Suffice to say I was a very tired person!!)

It's not something I'd take offence to in a card from work colleagues.

villainousbroodmare · 29/09/2015 09:50

It's grand, don't worry one bit.
lol/eeek @some of the other scenarios

Binkybix · 29/09/2015 09:53

Not in the same league as others but I once gave a not particularly close friend a card I thought was blank inside. Turns out it said 'to my best friend.' Stalker alert!!

middlings · 29/09/2015 09:54

When I had DD1 (after a long time of trying, assisted conception, 2 MCs etc, etc), and texted my boss to tell him she'd arrived, his response was "Congratulations, wonderful news. The first six weeks are hell."

For me, they were. I'd had a relatively difficult delivery and was an absolute mess for the first three weeks, was afraid I wasn't bonding with DD and spent the next three recovering from that. His acknowledgement of that was, in large part, how I got through that time.

So worry not - if she needs it, she'll appreciate it. If she doesn't, she won't even notice is as she's in a new baby fug.

fleurdelacourt · 29/09/2015 09:55

completely fine to write that IMO.

nearly snorted tea through my nose at the idea that the first 6 weeks are the easiest!!!

Fratelli · 29/09/2015 09:55

I would have welcomed it! I really struggled with breastfeeding the first couple of weeks! A lot of mums don't bond straight away with their babies and the first few sleep deprived weeks are far from easy!

tbtc20 · 29/09/2015 10:09

Hmmmm, I'm not sure.

I do remember distinctly being told by an older woman to treasure the early days because it flies by so quickly, and I thought "thank fuck for that, cos this really sucks". Of course, now that that DS has just started 6th form and I'm looking at only TWO YEARS before he goes to Uni, I know she's right and I probably spout the same old stuff to Mums of newborns.

I don't know how I would have felt about a card acknowledging that feeling though. In person it would have been good I think, but I don't know...I'm not really one for negativity. For example, when you tell someone you're loving the age their at and they come back with "oh you wait until they're teens". What do you say to that?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 29/09/2015 10:15

I know its not funny but some of these card writing faux pas really made me smirk . Sorry.

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