At the end of June I received an email from my closest friend asking if I would lend her £1,500.00, which was the shortfall she needed to buy a house. She said that she’s currently paying £750.00 rent and her new mortgage payments would be £420.00, she’s also recently got a new higher paid job and she would be able to pay me back by the end of August. I have lent her £1000.00 in the past to buy a car when hers blew up and she paid back in instalments when she could and there was no problem.
I’m far from well off but I do have a little bit of money in savings that I am able to lend then put back into savings when paid off, so I was willing to help her out. I transferred the money to her straight away.
About a month later DH suggests that we should buy a bigger house. We have a baby on the way and whilst we had planned to stay where we are for a couple of years after considering everything we decided to buy somewhere now. I knew that paying my half of the stamp duty, solicitors fees etc was going to be tight, especially as I’m £1500.00 down but I should just about manage it.
End of August arrives and my friend emails me to say that her brother, who was also supposed to be lending her some money towards the house purchase, has let her down and she’s now £1000.00 short. She had already exchanged contracts but she was unable to complete. Basically if she couldn’t come up with the funds pretty much immediately the house would go back on the market, she’d have to pay all the solicitors costs and would be absolutely stuffed financially. She went to her bank to arrange an overdraft and was waiting for confirmation that it had gone through.
I discussed lending her another 1k with DH and whilst he wouldn’t tell me not to, it being my money after all, he was obviously not keen. However on a selfish note, if I didn’t and it all fell through who knows when she would be able to pay back the initial loan, she’d be in a real mess financially. I sent her an email to say that I wouldn’t see her lose the house and her money for the sake of a grand but at the same time my own finances were going to be pretty tight with our own house purchase and then me going onto maternity pay in the not too distant future. I said I’d lend her another 1k if she had no other options but we’d need to work out a repayment schedule. She said that if the overdraft didn’t come through in time she’d let me know and would be able to transfer the money straight back once it did or she’d set up a direct debit if for some reason she didn’t get it. Next day I get a message from her saying the overdraft still wasn’t showing on her account so I transferred the money and she completed her house purchase.
Nothing was ever mentioned again about this supposed overdraft and no money was transferred back. A couple of weeks later she sent me a message saying they were absolutely skint because of some unexpected moving expenses and could she start paying me back next month. I was a bit 
considering I had told her about my own finances being tight but said ok.
In the meantime DH and I have had an offer accepted on a house, the purchase is proceeding apace and we anticipate completion within a couple of months.
I’ve had a message from my friend today talking about a couple of big bills they have to pay relating to her old house, they’ve just had the final energy bills which were more than expected and they also have a big bill for storage costs for when they were between houses. She hasn’t said anything yet but I’m just waiting for her to ask for another month before she starts the repayments, I just feel like she’s building up to it.
Would IBU to say no? By a month ago she said she would repay the £1500. In fact she has repaid nothing and borrowed a further £1000. If I don’t get about a £1000 back in the next couple of months I will be short on my half of the fees. DH will be able to make up the difference but he will be pretty annoyed about it. The vast, vast majority of our house purchase has come from the equity from his property he owned when we met so I think that paying half the fees is really the least I can do. However she is a very good friend and I would feel bad about making her find me some money somehow, putting her under a lot of pressure and stress, just so my DH isn’t angry with me. At the same time I do think she is taking the piss a little bit in that she hasn’t ever said anything about what happened with the overdraft or that she was supposed to have paid me back in full by now or acknowledged the fact that the last 1k was supposed to be a very short term loan.
This whole thing is really tainting our friendship.