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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

children (35 years old) will not work or study

58 replies

apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:26

My wife has a married daughter both her and her Chinese husband are 35 years old they don't study, work or in fact do anything useful, get up after mid day, play computer games and sponge off us, for last two and a half years. I have had enough, is that unreasonable.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/09/2015 16:27

Stop giving them any money! Why would you do that?

Sirzy · 05/09/2015 16:27

Where do they live?

And why is her husbands nationality relevant?

Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:27

OK so how do I get them out?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/09/2015 16:27

Do they live with you?

Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:28

Because Chinese are known for their hard work.

OP posts:
Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:29

Yes they live in 80% of our house

OP posts:
Limer · 05/09/2015 16:30

Do they pay you any rent? Are they on JSA?

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 05/09/2015 16:32

It INU to have had enough. If you are enabling this behaviour and allow the sponging, then you need to stop.

Give them one/two month's notice to find alternative accommodation.

Nationality is irrelevant to this question.

NerrSnerr · 05/09/2015 16:34

It's not unreasonable at all. Very difficult with family but I think you need to be honest and say you can no longer support them. Do they get jsa?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/09/2015 16:36

Stop giving them money and turn off the wifi. Padlock the fridge.

In extremis, wait until they are out and change the locks. If they are not tenants, they don't have any rights, as far as I know.

BestZebbie · 05/09/2015 16:39

Is there any particular reason why they have ended up in this position? (bankruptcy, mental or physical health issues, an arrangement to house them whilst they saved up, etc)

Murfles · 05/09/2015 16:40

Of course YABU, to still have them under your roof! WTF have they done since they were 16?

Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:42

They give my wife Pounds 150/month for the two of them but everything else is free. The daughter gets pounds 300/month allowance but what I find amazing is they don't even look for work.

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 05/09/2015 16:43

Sell up and move.

sooperdooper · 05/09/2015 16:44

Seriously, I'm calling BS on the op, this is nonsense

Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:46

They were in China and two and a half years ago turned up on the doorstep. He has no skills and as far as I know has never worked and she can speak many languages but for some reason lacks confidence to work, and has never had a job.

OP posts:
hesterton · 05/09/2015 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nonnainglese · 05/09/2015 16:48

Oh DF's, what do you think OP?

Talk about stating the proverbial bleeding obvious, sounds like another troll.....

hesterton · 05/09/2015 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
apibeeman · 05/09/2015 16:50

It upsets me to see them do so little, to the point now I am just getting very angry every time I see them.

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 05/09/2015 16:51

Where do they live the other 20% of the time?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/09/2015 16:52

Does your wife see there's a problem? Or is she enabling them? Would she back you up if you decided to get tough with them?

triathlon · 05/09/2015 16:52
Biscuit
ollieplimsoles · 05/09/2015 16:52

what the fuck?

If this is real just get them out of there?!

Tell your wife you can't take it any more and you don't want them living in your house, they sound like they have skills- perfectly capable of finding work themselves..

LuisSuarezTeeth · 05/09/2015 16:53

OP did you get bored with your climate change posts? Grin