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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To read the "Preparing for Uni" threads with a jaded eye

70 replies

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 16:29

Three years ago DS and I did a lovely excited trip around IKEA for kitchen kit and bedding. We got crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils, pans, knives, chopping boards, grater, colander, pizza wheel, the lot.

At the end of year one he said most of his crockery had gone awol because everyone had white. We replaced it with green.

I have just had a look at what he has for his final fourth year. He has one plate, one bowl, one lidless pan that originally belonged to someone else, a well used frying pan, one novelty mug and about ten speciality pint glasses.

DD is all enthusiastic for her trip to IKEA soon. Frankly my heart just isn't in it.

OP posts:
YUDOTHIS · 12/08/2015 16:30

Might be a bad idea but how about getting personalized plates? I wouldn't trust one with ink on the top but maybe one with dd's name on the bottom?

ILiveOnABuildsite · 12/08/2015 16:34

Well if it'll make you feel better we still have, four pans (with lids), one frying pan, several pieces of cutlery, one (beloved) spatula, a tin opener, 5 bottle openers (go figure), one nice looking throw, two desk lamps, a desk chair and both of his duvet/bedding sets from dh's university days 16 years ago! Maybe your dd will be more successful with her belongings.

teatowel · 12/08/2015 16:35

I think most of it is here. My DS brought home more than he took. Would you like to collect? :) Seriously when the second DS went I got all from jumbles and charity shops.

Sighing · 12/08/2015 16:36

I kept most of my uni stuff for about 10 years. It's probably more to do with taking care of the things, putting them away. Which my uni kitchen necessitated as randoms could access our kitchens.

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 12/08/2015 16:36

I've found that the reason is either theft or that they haven't washed something, it's stuck on/mouldy/gross so they through it out...

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/08/2015 16:41

Yes I understand. I went shopping so enthusiastically with ds1 last year and loved buying his uni stuff. He had lost everything pretty much including a duvet and bedding Confused by the end of the year. He's just been given the odd plate, bowl, knife and fork etc from our house for his second year.

Original poster
TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 16:41

I think it is a combination of stuff being too grotty to wash up and DS often being the last one in his flat to come home. By the time he packs up other people have already left with his stuff.

I've told him to restock at his own expense, but he reckons what he has is fine. Says his girlfriend can bring her own plate when she comes round for dinnerHmm

OP posts:
Headofthehive55 · 12/08/2015 16:42

I sent my DD with some things I had taken myself many years ago. She even took some of my textbooks which have come in handy as they were on the list! ( older editions)

howabout · 12/08/2015 16:44

Whatever happened to the day out shopping with your new uni mates to buy the essentials?

Original poster
TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 16:48

I am very tempted to go down the charity shop route with DD, I could maybe sell it to her as environmentally friendly/vintage.

OP posts:
Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 12/08/2015 16:49

I must be weird. 20 years on, I still have some of the things my Mum and I bought together before I went to Uni.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/08/2015 16:50

Surely you need the stuff for your first night howabout, might take a while to make new mates to go shopping with.

GummyBunting · 12/08/2015 16:52

Wilkos gift card for xmas it is then.

Delilahfandango · 12/08/2015 16:54

I sent DD with a mixture of new bits, charity shop and stuff from home. It must have all come home as the car was packed to bursting when I picked her up! In fact, I think she was sneaking extra towels back with her when she came home on visits. The only thing she lost was the lovely silver and semi precious stone ring that we got her for Christmas - ggrrrSad

DressingGownFrown · 12/08/2015 16:55

Oh God please don't charity shop it for your Daughter! It's not her fault that her Brother was shit at looking after his stuff.
She might be better at looking after her stuff, or she might not, but its so exciting buying uni stuff, maybe not for you, but its the first time for her and I think it would be quite mean to deprive her if you did it with your son.
Also, you point out that your Son enjoyed the shopping part, and it probably prepared him for uni and really seeing the positive of moving out.
I have images of him unloading all of his stuff out of the car into his new room as a fresher maybe going for a meal with his parents and your Daughter doing a tuck and roll out the car with a shabby suitcase.

Can you tell I'm an only child Wink

Original poster
TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 16:55

When we dropped DS off, lovely welcoming flat mate immeadiately handed him an opened beer. They weren't making plans to go and pick up a new casserole dish.

OP posts:
MyDoItMyself · 12/08/2015 17:00

Oh God please don't charity shop it for your Daughter

What's wrong with charity shops?! Fair enough if you want to buy new but there's nothing wrong with not wanting to buy loads of new cheap tat Ikea stuff when it might all get lost or broken anyway

Original poster
TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 17:01

Don't worry Dress, my four kids are fully familiar with the Jaded Parent Principle, that things are done a little more shoddily for each kid down the line. We shall probably just send DC4 off on the bus to Uni with a carrier bag.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 12/08/2015 17:02

I bought my own stuff 27 years ago from the Reject Shop. One of the pans is still going strong.

Buy cheap as you can.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 12/08/2015 17:02

Yeah, don't think my mother bothered getting me a whole set of anything for uni. Actually, most of the stuff I think I 'borrowed' from home (certainly took the big, round, deep frying pan to not cook in). Left most of my duvet sets behind - in my defense, I knew it was the last time I would ever be sleeping in a single bed, and they were taking up too much space in end-of-year packing. I wish my partner had 'lost' his uni plates, horrid, ugly ones. FInally managed to convince him to change them, 8 years later (Sainsburys was having a naice sale on a 16 piece set). I will not be bothering when my child goes to uni/moving out - I'll just give him said horrid plates to take with him Grin.

howabout · 12/08/2015 17:03

All I can say is things have changed since my day - took the duvet off my bed at home and didn't consider actual cooking of actual meals for a while Blush
Our freshers week group lasted us all our uni days and beyond.
Still remember us all going on a morning out to the supermarket with a boy who had never been before. Think 8 students and a trolley may be even more alarming than when I leave my toddler in charge Grin

ImperialBlether · 12/08/2015 17:03

Most of the charity shops near here are full of secondhand Ikea stuff, MyDoItMyself!

Mrsjayy · 12/08/2015 17:05

I know it isnt the same but dd2 starts college soon and when her sister went i did a girls day with trailing about shops for supplies new clothes spot of lunch she went to college didnt need half the stuff we bought now dd2 wants the same trip and i cant be arsed Blush

Headofthehive55 · 12/08/2015 17:11

tinkly love that last comment! Sounds like my DDs bf. She had to take her own crockery when she visits and she is at a different uni to him!

DressingGownFrown · 12/08/2015 17:12

MyDoItMyself
Nothing wrong with charity shops. I have plenty of furniture/homeware/books (never buy books new) from charity shops - I was referring to the discrepancy between siblings.
Sorry, forgot to put lighthearted on my post Hmm

Tinkly
Oh the horror, at least make it a bag for life? It can be a lidl plastic one, but if it's got to last their entire uni life....