To read the "Preparing for Uni" threads with a jaded eye

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Three years ago DS and I did a lovely excited trip around IKEA for kitchen kit and bedding. We got crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils, pans, knives, chopping boards, grater, colander, pizza wheel, the lot.

At the end of year one he said most of his crockery had gone awol because everyone had white. We replaced it with green.

I have just had a look at what he has for his final fourth year. He has one plate, one bowl, one lidless pan that originally belonged to someone else, a well used frying pan, one novelty mug and about ten speciality pint glasses.

DD is all enthusiastic for her trip to IKEA soon. Frankly my heart just isn't in it.

My parents bought me one bowl, one plate, one mug, one set of cutlery. That does make them sound stingy but they also paid for my tuition fees and rent.

I bought a saucepan and a frying pan from Woolies. The saucepan is still going strong 15 years later.

I still have a collander and almost a full set of cutlery. I graduated 14 years ago.

The only stuff ds1 brought back was the bed linen and towels.

Everything else was binned as its state was shocking.

Here the tradition is that the uni child gets some old crockery etc from home or grandmas ( thry loved " shopping at grandmas" for all sorts of bits) . Rarely new and never important- towels and bedding included.

Then no one has the same and " takes it by accident" - if they do they can claim it back. And if it sits in a mouldering heap, a towel clears up vomit and gets chucked etc I am not bothered at all.

It just takes one element of expense and stress out of the moving away.

One thing we do buy new though - when I see them nice cheap and vacuum packed is a new duvet and pilows. So much easier to transport in the car and lug around hall / student houses when moving in. We seem to mostly bin them when they move out too - bleurgh!

My DD just buys patterned plates and knives and forks that are a bit more distinctive. I know one of her housemates had pink pots and pans and knives etc

One of my ex boyfriends and his housemates at uni were so bad at washing up that they'd stop at the charity shop and buy a new plate, knife and fork on the way home to use that evening rather than wash the ones they already had. God knows what their kitchen must have looked like.

My flatmates thought it was hillarious - my mum gave me the crockery used for the cat, and bought the cat some new ones!

Still have them over ten years later. Maybe DS can take them to uni in 18 years.

DS took a million and one things for the kitchen, unfortunately so did all his housemates the kitchen is overflowing with kit.

They'll all get stolen, possibly broken, that's just uni! I got all my plates/cutlery etc from basic asda/wilkos ranges. Took the duvet from my bed! Don't bother spending loads. Save nice stuff for their first house after uni or whatever

Don't buy fancy new stuff (for students ikea is fancy!). Go to the charity shop and buy cheap as chips plates, or five him some old battered plates if you have them.

Stuff at uni gets stolen. This has been the case for a long time.

I still have my kitchen stuff from when I went to university 30 years ago. It was bought in the local market with mugs collected from offers in supermarkets! I used it regularly but retired it to the back of the loft hoping that one of the DC will use it when they go. DS is off this autumn but I am not sure whether he will want flowery plates and "rustic " mugs????

I live in a town with a lot of students. First you see the ones who are going away trailing round Wilkos with their mums. Then you see the ones who have just arrived wandering round the Co-op in groups looking lost and bewildered. Supermarket shopping is clearly too dangerous to be undertaken in groups of less than three. So I'd suggest that if departing dd or ds has never done a supermarket shop before, it might be an idea to do a practice run.

Dd has been chatting on FB to students who were in her halls last year...they've been really honest about what she needs/ doesn't need for her first year.
Cut our shopping list by half.
Or rather ex h's.

I agree that it seems unfair to take your dd to charity shops because it means that she is being treated differently to her brother and it will feel she us being punished for her brother's actions. Having said that I think in general charity shops are a great place to get stuff for uni.

Glad for the heads up, I will hand DD the old stuff in my cupboards & then go out & buy more for us? Bonus if our purchases happen to be from a charity shop.

My neighbour bought a newer used car (08 reg?) to replace his S-reg. Immediately neighbour's son's car died so neighbour gave the 08reg to son. I couldn't fathom why neighbour didn't give the S-reg to son.

My DD1 just took a few old pots, pans and plates I no longer needed from home, and has just added a few bits as needed since then.

Occasionally in Halls stuff does go walkies, or in shared housing, so you don't want that much of it to be new, or to matter that much if you never see it again.

I didn't know you were supposed to have sets of stuff at uni! DS1 is 17 and I assumed that I would be sending him with a couple of mugs, a plate, a dish and a set of cutlery. With less you have to wash it up before you can eat again, so it has less time to get manky! Again towels/bedding would be just spare from here. I will probably get him a sharp knife as he enjoys cooking and a general 'pan'.

When I shared a house as a student we all just brought 1 of everything and pans etc were already in the house along with assorted crockery/cutlery. A toaster would have been luxury - we had the grill on the cooker!

go to the charity shop. Stuff is just the same, plates etc don't carry nasty diseases and it will be much cheaper. Also stops the waste.

also harder to find the right thing. They are different people, but if she is the same attitude it may make her value things more.

oh, and keep things in their room. Use, wash up (yes, you have to do that) and take back. Stops it being nicked or used by someone else's entitled little prince/princess.

www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/groceries/sainsburys-porcelain-dinner-set-white--basics-x12-pieces

We have these for everyday use. Nice, cheap and very replaceable.

My 4th DC is off to uni in September I can't think we need to go on shopping expeditions for anything apart from a nice mattress topper which we can't get until we know how big her bed is. They really don't need much stuff at all.

I find the preparing for uni threads a bit gushy and a bit over baring in places but I suppose it depends on the kids.

Mine have been happy with a combination of my old tat and cheap stuff from their local supermarkets. They all shop in local charity shops from time to time. I'm surprised that anyone would find charity shop purchases unacceptable.

I think it's important to step back and let them do the planning even if they are a bit useless . it's important to get into the habit of treating them as adults.

I want to be here for them if they need some support but I want to move on from my 'mothering' roll. I don't see it as my job to nag them about things I would have nagged them about when they were younger.