To ask you to help me with my evening routine?

[Poppy1983]

I have two dds, youngest has just turned two and oldest is nearly 6. I am a sahm and DP works in our busy town centre. As the parking there is so expensive I collect DP from work at 5.30 (it's a 15 minute drive). There is no direct bus route to our house. My current routine is not working as dds are getting over tired and fall asleep in the car at 5.15 and over hungry. This is my current routine:
3.45pm get in from school and dds have snack (cereal bar)
4.00pm baths and any reading/homework
5.15pm collect DP
5.45 cook
6.15 eat then clean up
7.15 dds upstairs to get change and read story brush teeth etc
8pm lights out

I then have to wake dds at 7am to take DP to work and they are over tired.

What could I do differently?

Just a suggestion, but I think you could try preparing dinner during the afternoon, so that at 5.45, you can all eat. So either make stuff like lasagne, chilli etc which you can just heat up and eat. Or make a roast chicken or other things like poached salmon and it cold. It's summer, quite ok to eat salad bread and cold chicken, fish or roast beef for dinner. That means no cooking.

Kids don't need bathing every day. If you eat at 5.45, at 6.30 let them watch a bit of TV, and get them into PJs in front of TV (I find this saves me time as I get no moaning about going to bed!), then at 6.45 up to bed at read a story together. Lights out at 7pm

Split the meals into two small ones.

Mine used to have beans on one piece of toast, soup with toast etc then if we wanted to eat together, they had a small portion of dinner.

How about feeding the kids their meal at 4.30?

Or could your DH cycle or organise to car pool?

Yes dinner for dc at 4.30 , toast or crumpets at 6. Bed at 7 then you and your dh eat.

I agree with giving dc their tea at about 4:30, bath every other night when either you do the bathing and dh does the cooking or vice versa.

That's a good idea I will try 4.30 for dc dinner, I will try and think of some meals I could save for later for me and dh like a salad. And they could eat a bedtime snack while I'm running their bath it sounds good in theory I will give it a try starting Monday as we still have to drop off DP in school holidays and pick him up so no lie ins for us boo hoo

I really would not be splitting mealtimes into "them" and "us".

I would ask my DH to cycle.
Sorry but constantly dragging 2 young DC out all the time -nope.
15 minutes by car is about 30 minutes cycling.

Showers instead of baths on 'work' days. Far quicker than a bath. Perhaps not every night either.

Earlier meal - either separate meals for kids/adults or prepare earlier so can all eat together??
We've had no choice but separate meals as dh only gets home at half 6 and ds is going up to bed at 7 so don't really want him having a meal right before going to bed.

No way I'd be taking DH to and from work, sorry. It can't be a massive town there must be cheaper parking if he is prepared to walk for a few mins. Or he can cycle, or get the bus and walk the rest if the way. Dragging the kids out is a bit daft, tbh.

3.45pm get in from school, dds 'unwind' and unpack school bags
4.00 pm cook dinner while dds have snack around 4.30ish
5.15pm collect DP
5.45 eat then DP cleans up, while you help with homework or vice versa
6.30 bath
7.15 dds upstairs to get change and read story brush teeth etc
8pm lights out

You may find that if your girls are able to 'ramp down' when they get home that, conversely, they don't get super-tired quite so early in the evening. I always allowed mine 1/2 hr of TV or playing when they got home. It seemed to give them a bit of a 'second wind'.

Combining tasks and delegating to DH may also help you not to be frazzled. They can sit in the kitchen with their snacks while you fix dinner and chat. DH helping you clean or doing homework with them carves out extra time in the routine. They'd also be doing homework on full tummies then taking a relaxing bath.

We've had no choice but separate meals as dh only gets home at half 6 and ds is going up to bed at 7 so don't really want him having a meal right before going to bed.
Who decided on the 7pm bedtime?

How expensive is parking? Do you need the car during the day? There is no way I would be dragging my children out in the car twice a day to take dh to work. He needs to find somewhere he can afford to park, cycle, lift share or get a taxi.

Oh it wouldn't be them and us as we would still eat together at weekends. I may even eat with the dc at 4.30 (instead of scoffing a whole pack of biscuits at that time of day ) although if I eat that early I may scoff the biscuits at bedtime instead!

could you prepare the meal and put in the oven before you leave the house - if its a 30 minute round trip the lasagne (for example) would cook while you are doing the pick up.
walk through the door and serve - have the salad prepared in the fridge ready - and table laid ready etc...
i'd not give up eating as a family - it is really important. a slow cooker also works well for this reason. basically walk through the door and serve, thus eating at 6pm.

have the school stuff done for the next day before the pick up too, so homework done, bags packed, lunchbox made etc.

that way you only need to do dinner - one parent cleans up while the other parent baths/pjs and does stories for bed. you could then get it down to 7-7.30pm.

on rainy days this is totally doable - but on sunny days yes cycle or walk to a different bus stop, there is bound to be one.

Slow cooker.

And tell DH to find an easier way to commute.

I'd get the lights out earlier. If kids are already bathed and in PJs, then it's just teeth and a quick story. Definitely save the long stories for weekends or invest in a bookmark.

I wouldn't clean up straight after eating. I'd eat, get the kids upstairs while the other adult does clear up, or if not, leave it until kids in bed. I think if you could get them upstairs by 7pm, you could have lights out by 7:30pm.

I'd also use a slow cooker or prepare meals at the weekend to re-heat during the week. That way, cutting your prep time down too and possibly bring mealtime forward slightly if needed.

Also, I wouldn't be worried about feeding the kids separately Mon-Fri while they're little and need an earlier bedtime. We did this with DD as she was fed at the CM, we had family meals at the weekend and now she in bed (lights out) by 7:30-7:45pm, we always have a family meal about 6pm on week days.

Kids can't always sleep earlier.

I agree with others. Let DH sort out an alternative way to get to and from work. You won't have to wake your little kids up so early and can still have family dinners every day. Win win.

Agree with those who have said split meal times. As long as you sit and eat together at the weekend they aren't missing out. People who work shifts can't always eat with their kids. I find that the more sleep my dd has before midnight, the better she is the next day. For example, if she goes to bed at 7pm and wakes at 6 am she is fine. However, bed at 9 pm followed by waking at 8 am and she is a groggy nightmare. Good luck.

honestly mine are 2,4,6 if I put them in the car around 5 they would fall asleep - however if I give them my phone or iPad (eldest has 3ds) it helps keep them awake

Who decided on the7pm bedtime Regina??? Actually it was ds. Any later than 7 and he's just a screaming mess!! Is that ok with you miss perfect parent judgey pants?!?

Woah! Overreaction, much?!

I'll have a word with him though and tell him Regina says he's to stay up later to facilitate us having the meal we want - tell me though - what do I do the following morning when he's tired from not enough sleep??