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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think vomiting on the carpet is not ok?!

32 replies

Pinkcatgirl · 01/08/2015 07:50

DH out for drinks with friends / work colleagues yesterday. I saw him outside a bar about 4pm drinking beers... Staggers in at 9:30pm saying he's left the restaurant where they were having dinner "because he doesn't feel well". Clearly swaying a bit so follow him upstairs.

He gets into bed then ten seconds later gags and vomits massively all over our bed and lovely cream carpet. After sending him to shower, stripping bed and remaking it, he gets back in (after his brief & unsuccessful attempt to clean up by hoovering up the sick).

Obviously this is disgusting but what's bothering me more is that he refusing to say he was drunk. He just maintains he's "not well". To me it seems foolish to drink for 5 hours if you are not well, and equally possible that drinking for that many hours and not eating would make you sick anyway. Both his parents are recovering alcoholics which he is very critical of as affected his childhood, but he seems to drink more and more and always has excuses - usually that it's part of his work life.

Fed up. Not seen him all week as working away and now having to spend the weekend cleaning up and buying a new carpet instead of having family time.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 01/08/2015 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ahbollocks · 01/08/2015 07:54

Don't dare clean up after him.
Tell him if he wants to go and live in a puke covered bedsit and eventually choke to death on his own vomit then he's welcome to.

I am sending you a big unmumsnet hug, alchies are the worst.

AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain · 01/08/2015 07:57

Do not clean up after him!

paxtecum · 01/08/2015 07:58

It's easy to say let him clean it up, but the odds are that he will do half a job and op doesn't want to sleep in a vomit stinking bedroom.

Tryharder · 01/08/2015 08:06

You would seriously buy a new carpet?

I must live on a different planet to the rest of you!

Unless he's a regular drunk and got form for this sort of stuff I would be sort of amused by the colossal hangover he's going to have.

Gloves on, sponge up the sick, treat it with a carpet cleaner etc. Carpet will be fine.

Queenbean · 01/08/2015 08:08

Gloves on, sponge up the sick, treat it with a carpet cleaner etc. Carpet will be fine.

Exactly. But make him do it

Pinkcatgirl · 01/08/2015 08:12

I wouldn't consider cleaning up except we have a 7 month old and 2 yr old and I didn't want them to walk through it. I'm not his mum, I'm their mum.

I will go to B&Q and hire a rug doctor.... It's just everywhere though!

OP posts:
Tootsiepops · 01/08/2015 08:15

What on earth was he drinking?

ReallyTired · 01/08/2015 08:16

I am amazed that a website for mums suggest buying s new carpet because someone has been sick on a carpet. My six year old was recently sick on the carpet and inside the car.

It's a bad idea to use a vacumn cleaner to clean up sick. It will make the hoover stink. I'm suggest using warm water, bicarbonate of soda, gloves and kitchen towel to clear up the worst. Febreeze is useful for getting rid of the stink. If that fails then a carpet shampooing machine can be hired from many DIY shops.

As far as your husband goes, I would check his temperature before getting angry.

ahbollocks · 01/08/2015 08:20

What alternate reality is this?? He can get his stupid arse to b and q himself.
As the grown up child of a alcoholic I am telling you that cleaning up after him in polite outrage will help absolutely no one.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 01/08/2015 08:20

Was he on shots or something? Your room must stink to the high heavens. Leave the scrubbing for him to do!

Kittymum03 · 01/08/2015 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenbean · 01/08/2015 08:28

That is horrendous! What the hell was he drinking?!

Usual booze vomit is clear!

contractor6 · 01/08/2015 09:16

Was he drinking red wine? If not that could be blood in vomit which is bad. Wake him up to check.

Charley50 · 01/08/2015 09:20

Looks dansak coloured to me. Sorry not helpful.

Only1scoop · 01/08/2015 09:22

Id be shutting the door on that room and I'D be taking the kids out for the day....id expect it sorted for my return.

Jeez the thought of cleaning up a grown mans drunk vomit.

Nah

Littleen · 01/08/2015 09:27

This is why I hate carpet flooring.

LavenderLeigh · 01/08/2015 09:57

If someone ate so much they were sick, it would be obvious they had a serious problem. Drinking so much you are sick is no different, yet it's widely accepted as quite normal. Strange.

Make him clean it up. Properly. YY to hiring a carpet cleaning machine or it is going to take hours.

Has he apologised for vomiting everywhere and disturbing your night?

LilacWine7 · 01/08/2015 10:58

Unless he's thrown up on the carpet before, I think it's a bit mean to be angry. Maybe he's genuinely unwell, ate some bad food or is coming down with a bug? If I were you I'd treat it as if he's ill rather than assume it's caused by the alcohol.

Years ago I was sick on my bedroom floor after drinking 2 small glasses of wine... I was coming down with a cold but didn't realise at the time, I'd had a slight sore throat that day but no other symptoms. Sometimes your body just reacts very negatively to alcohol even if you haven't had much. My DH has also reacted badly to alcohol on occasion, so I've taken him home and looked after him. It wouldn't occur to me to be angry. If the vomiting was caused by alcohol excess, the hangover will be punishment enough and he'll be very grateful you cleaned up and took care of him.

I suggest pouring bicarbonate of soda all over the stain, leaving for a few hours to absorb, then sweeping up with a dustpan and brush. Then scrub with a carpet shampoo and vacuum. If there are marks left, he can scrub it himself when he's feeling better, or pay for a professional clean.

CatMilkMan · 01/08/2015 11:20

Are you sure it's the alcohol and he isn't just sick?

Pinkcatgirl · 01/08/2015 16:04

I went to B&Q at 9am and hired the cleaning machine.... It's looking better but it's less about the carpet and more about not admitting he's drunk... I find it worrying.

I'm a doctor so I don't think he was ill and the brown colour definitely wasn't blood. I even slept next to his stinky body in case he was sick in the night and choked and I needed to help him....

I have of course taken photographic evidence to be produced at a later date in case of similar incidents.

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 01/08/2015 16:09

DS was sick many years ago after eating smoked mackerel paté. DH hoovered that up with the brand new Dyson. It never recovered and I still haven't completely forgiven him. Sometimes they are such idiots!
OP - have you got some bicarb? Sprinkle that into the vomit area - it's really good at removing smells if there's any left.

IAmNotAMindReader · 01/08/2015 16:23

He's an alcoholic and is in denial.

You need to think if this is how you want to live.

I am not basing this opinion on just 1 night. 5 hours of drinking on an empty stomach can easily make someone that ill.

Add to that you state despite being very critical of his parents drinking problems, he himself is now beginning to find excuses to drink to increasing limits.

If he is genuinely ill, the drinking has just exacerbated it and turned it from a bug where he'd feel miserable and not stray too far from the toilet, to an escapade where he can't control where he vomits due to drink clouding his cognitive processes. Drink has turned a manageable bug to a massive clean up operation (if it is a bug and not solely down to drink).

You and your husband need to have a serious chat about his drinking habits. Unfortunately he may be in denial for some time. If you are going to issue any ultimatums be prepared to follow them through. However no matter how much you cajole, plead or threaten him, he isn't going to do a damn thing until he realizes its a problem.

So sorry OP, you may be in for some difficult times.

AliceScarlett · 01/08/2015 17:06

It's not OK and it's a real concern that he is drinking more and more while trying to justify it. Do you think he has a problem with alcohol?

RosePetels · 01/08/2015 17:13

That's disgusting i would be fuming!