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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask someone to stop slurping their tea?

36 replies

HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 08:29

I don't like chewing noise, sniffing, slurping. It gives me rage. I can ignore it to a point but can feel the anxiety and loathing bubbling up. It makes me want to cry. Usually I just walk away or leave the room.

Anyway. Someone was sitting a bit close to me and slurped. I snapped and told them to please stop.

H tells me it was rude to. I think it would have been more rude to just punch her without warning.

What am I supposed to do? Keep quiet? I know I do irritating stuff but is it really rude to say 'please don't sniff' or 'if you slurp your tea down my ear I may punch you'.

OP posts:
Shockers · 28/07/2015 08:31

A stranger?

I tell DH, but I wouldn't shout at a stranger!

FuryFowler · 28/07/2015 08:32

Did they just slurp the once? Did you know that person? Is this pent up frustration you're taking out on some poor unsuspecting woman?

Penfold007 · 28/07/2015 08:33

Do you think you may have misophonia? I agree with your H

ACSlater · 28/07/2015 08:33

Of course it was rude!

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2015 08:34

Who was it? I think it's rude to say it to a stranger.

Original poster
HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 08:34

Colleague. I didn't shout. Just spoke through gritted teeth.

OP posts:
maybebabybee · 28/07/2015 08:34

I agree this is annoying but this sounds like a very OTT reaction to something that's relatively normal...especially as you say it makes you want to cry. It sounds like misophonia to me.

www.misophonia.com/symptoms-triggers/

Original poster
HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 08:34

And she's always bloody slurping and sniffing.

OP posts:
maybebabybee · 28/07/2015 08:35

sorry xposted with penfold

Original poster
HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 08:35

Probably. But giving it a name does not cure it.

OP posts:
Original poster
HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 08:36

Is it not equally rude to slurp and sniff? Why is it ruder to ask someone to stop?

OP posts:
Skeppers · 28/07/2015 08:37

If you'd done that to me, I'd have made a point of locking eye contact with you and very slowly, loudly and deliberately slurping the entire cup.

But then, I'm an antagonistic fucker! Grin

maybebabybee · 28/07/2015 08:37

Probably. But giving it a name does not cure it.

Yes but you need to recognise that it's your issue I'm afraid and not theirs...

I suffer from horrible health anxiety and I would really rather that no one talked about any health problems of any sort in front of me. But I can't say that to people. I just have to deal with it.

WilburIsSomePig · 28/07/2015 08:44

I can't bear hearing people slurp, chew etc but I do know that its my issue. I just suffer in silence.

wigglesrock · 28/07/2015 08:44

Yes, you were rude, why didn't you move this time? I've a friend who can't stand any talk about dentists or teeth or anything tooth related - he doesn't tell people in work or friends to stop if we're talking about the dentist. He deals with it himself by moving away or doing something else.

SkatesMcgee · 28/07/2015 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FungusTheBogeymam · 28/07/2015 08:59

Yes, you were rude. And you're lucky the person didn't lamp you one, to be honest.

vaticancameos · 28/07/2015 09:03

Ear defenders or ear plugs

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 28/07/2015 09:45

I'm with Skeppers on this one. If you'd just snapped with no reason given at me I'd have made hit ears crawl with coffee drinking all day. If you'd had the decency to politely say you have a phobia, it's irrational as all hell but is making you feel ill then I'd probably have made a conscious effort to be less noisy.

You fucked up your handling. It's up to you to manage your problems in an adult manner.

Mulligrubs · 28/07/2015 09:48

If you have misophonia it is your problem. I don't like the sounds of people eating but unless it is my own child or DP I keep my gob shut. If you explained you are sensitive to slurping/eating noises and asked them to stop politely then fine. But if you snapped then you're very rude.

Original poster
HookedOnHooking · 28/07/2015 09:59

She knows I have slurping issues. We're a close, friendly, nice bunch. I was snappier than I usually would be because they all know I hate it but not that snappy. It was taken lightheartedly and they all took the piss out of me for the rest of the day.

However.... i still don't understand why it is rude to mention something that is not good manners.

OP posts:
Flutterbutterfly · 28/07/2015 10:04

Its not good manners to slurp but it much, much worse to point out that someone was slurping.

It's bad manners because you would have made her feel bad. She might have some sort of slurping condition!

You were rude. Your issue.

appolina · 28/07/2015 10:08

No, I'd let my brain explode before I pointed it out. It's my problem after all. Far worse manners to point it out
Even my own child I would ask (if they drank tea that is, children don't generally drink tea) if the drink was too hot.

orangefusion · 28/07/2015 10:08

I have misophonia, I know the rage but I also know that to act on the rage would be disastrous. I move away or use counter noises to drown it out, I have headphones at work that I use the minute the salad boxes appear. Yabu you have to control it or you will end up getting worse than snapped at.

appolina · 28/07/2015 10:10

At home we have low music on at dinner so I can't hear any eating drinking. Mostly they're eating normally, only that I am over sensitive.

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