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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to buy condoms

41 replies

OctopusesGarden · 27/07/2015 04:26

So basically dh and I thought we were infertile. Surprise dd proves we're not. I don't want to go on the pill (have pnd at the moment, think any more hormones would not help). DH is happy to have vasectomy, so long term plan sorted. Short term, we'll use condoms. I think he should get them, he wears them and I think he'd make a better choice. He says just get any.

AIBU to feel weird buying them? Or should he be buying them?

Cheers

OP posts:
Mermaidhair · 27/07/2015 04:35

Assuming you will both be participating in sex, it doesn't really matter who buys them. Just throw some in your trolley while doing the grocery shopping. I'm sure you can decide between the two of you whether he is a small, medium, or large. There is nothing weird about it. People have sex, people sometimes don't want that to lead to a baby so they use condoms. You are over thinking it.

LongDistanceLove · 27/07/2015 04:36

Tbh they usually get chucked in with the weekly shop.

So whoever is closest to the supermarket or boots gets them.

LindyHemming · 27/07/2015 04:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OctopusesGarden · 27/07/2015 04:42

Thanks! Meant to say, am happy to buy them as part of the weekly shop, just want him to decide which ones he wants. Maybe I am overthinking it, it's been over a decade since we used them.

OP posts:
PourMyselfACupOfAmbition · 27/07/2015 05:48

Have fun trying the options out op :-)

Kytti · 27/07/2015 05:52

Go to family planning and get some for free! Easy as.

springbabydays · 27/07/2015 06:01

There is a lot more choice out there than there used to be! A joint decision sounds best (maybe try a few different ones - Sainsbury's had a special offer a while ago so we got a couple of different types) good luck!

Nolim · 27/07/2015 06:10

Try some options and have fun! Nothing weird about it.

TerrorAustralis · 27/07/2015 06:16

YABU. Woman up and throw them in the trolley. If you're embarrassed, go through a self-checkout.

BeeMyBaby · 27/07/2015 06:16

As it's our long term contraception choice, DH bulk buys them online (known brands) and it works out a little cheaper. Maybe once he finds which kind he likes you could try that?

cleanmyhouse · 27/07/2015 06:37

Have you thought about trying a diaphragm? I used it quite happily for years. Family planning clinics don't seem to mention them these days, but you can get one if you ask.

MsVestibule · 27/07/2015 06:53

It's never crossed my mind to ask DH if he prefers a particular brand! Your DH is obviously not bothered, and I believe that unless he's especially large or small, one size fits most. Just chuck some run of the mill Durex in when you're shopping, job done.

Pengweng · 27/07/2015 07:03

Just don't get the ones that tingle. It's like squirting a bottle of mint original source up your chuff. Grin

Get a variety pack and see which ones you prefer if he isn't bothered.
I think it's nice that you care what he wants.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/07/2015 07:13

Buy whatever has the nicest packet, he can't complain now.

Pseudo341 · 27/07/2015 07:27

YABU (not meant unkindly though) There's absolutely no reason for anyone to feel awkward about buying condoms these days. Just chuck a pack of plain durex in the shopping basket. You're both having sex, if you're the one doing the shopping then it makes sense for you to buy them. If either of you are embarrassed by buying them, it's a lot more embarrassing to have to buy them separately or with a couple of other things in a chemist then to get them with a great big weekly shop.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 27/07/2015 07:31

You're being silly. Just get the featherlite ones and if they don't suit you can try another kind. Condoms are condoms really, there isn't much difference between them (just don't use the ones they have in bowls in gay bars as they are a wee bit thicker than most!)

RattieofCatan · 27/07/2015 07:32

YABU, they're condoms, you need them as much as he does so just throw them in the trolley!

Or, buy them in bulk from the people who supply family planning clinics, that's what we do and it's so much cheaper. I can't remember the site but it was 80-odd latex-free condoms for less than £30 last time!

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 27/07/2015 07:37

YABU it doesn't matter who buys them if you need them, I buy ours but DH will buy them if I ask. Like pp have said there are so many to choose from you can have fun experimenting.

Totality22 · 27/07/2015 07:50

Next person who does the shopping just throws a pack in the basket / trolly?

avocadotoast · 27/07/2015 07:55

Just get some, don't be weird about it Confused

Or just buy some online, but brace yourself for getting email newsletters from whoever you buy from Grin you can get some very good deals... I once bought a bag of 100 when I was with my ex at uni they didn't all get used

Original poster
OctopusesGarden · 27/07/2015 08:02

Thanks everyone for the replies. Variety pack it is! I'm not embarrassed to by them, have happily bought them in the past. After a decade of contraception free shagging just didn't know which ones to buy.

Right, mama's getting some sugar so ;-)

OP posts:
Original poster
OctopusesGarden · 27/07/2015 08:03

*buy. Got a bit excited and posted too soon!

OP posts:
Daffolil · 27/07/2015 08:10

Sorry to hear you are suffering with pnd. I did too, and I know from experience how difficult it can be to make seemingly easy decisions. Does your hv or gp surgery give them out? You might be seeing them anyway and could ask. Wishing you a speedy recovery. To all of you that buy condoms as part of your weekly shop, I know it's not a competition, but I'm a little jealous you're having that much sex :-)

babyiwantabump · 27/07/2015 08:17

you can buy them online from the NHS supplier . Nhs freedoms shop or something like that . I got a bulk pack of 144 for £15 or something like that

babyiwantabump · 27/07/2015 08:17

www.freedoms-shop.com

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