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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Put up pregnant on Facebook?

27 replies

ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:30

AIBU because I don't think I am but honestly not sure.

I am 11 weeks pregnant and posted on Facebook I'm pregnant (I know Facebook--groan).

We had only previously told my parents, DPs parents and my sister.

Now my Dad is annoyed I didn't pre warn him that I was posting it up as he wanted to tell his Mum (my Gran) first.

Firstly, I never told him he couldn't tell her and he never asked.

Secondly, I haven't told my Mums Mum or my Mums sister - my aunt - either.

I posted as got a hen do this weekend and wanted people to know why I could not drink.

Should I have pre warned him or was it my choice to make?

If it was my partner annoyed or not pre warned id agree but my Dad? What do you think?

OP posts:
moooolah · 22/07/2015 16:32

I think it's your news to do whatever you want with.

But if you've got a fairly close family I wouldn't personally announce on social media before sharing the news with my nan or aunt..

Congratulations!

nmg85 · 22/07/2015 16:33

Entirely your decision in my opinion.

BlueKarou · 22/07/2015 16:33

It's your news for you to tell people whenever and however you want to.

midnightvelvetPart2 · 22/07/2015 16:34

Congratulations [flower]

yanbu, perhaps he thought he had another week & you wouldn't announce it until the traditional 12 weeks? Is your Gran on fb? Its not really up to your dad how you choose to share your news tbh

SaulGood · 22/07/2015 16:36

Nobody's being unreasonable. It is your pregnancy and you are free to announce it however you choose.

That said, I can see where your Dad is coming from. I would never have put a thing on FB (in fact FB was never informed I was pregnant) until my Grandmas knew. I see it as common courtesy to tell nearest and dearest first, in person if possible. This includes grandparents. This is only personal opinion though. You see things differently and that's not wrong.

hellsbellsmelons · 22/07/2015 16:38

I wouldn't be announcing anything at 11 weeks.
But it's your news and your body so entirely up to you.
Don't let anyone guilt you about it.

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:39

She's on Facebook yes.

I mentioned to Mum a few days ago I was going to announce it but didn't state when just soon.

Maybe thought the 12 weeks stage but then even so I feel it was my news to share.

The annoying thing is he phoned Mum up to complain about it to her, not me!

I understand he's like to tell his Mum - I'd be happy for him to have told her after 9 week scan but Dad never discussed it.

Maybe should've told aunt and gran first - we are close but talk every few weeks. I guess it feels a bit awkward announcing it individually.

OP posts:
ReginaBlitz · 22/07/2015 16:40

I find it pretty cringe tbh when people announce things like this on fb but each to their own. Yabu for announcing it too early regardless

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:41

Would've waited to announce til started to show but with the hen do it seemed to make sense. Plus why I felt nauseous.

OP posts:
SaulGood · 22/07/2015 16:42

Oh if she's on FB, I'd definitely say that it would have been nice to tell her first. Her grandaughter's having a baby and she finds out on social media. It's just a bit impersonal. No harm done but I don't think anybody's particularly unreasonable.

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:42

I didn't realise 11/12 weeks was too early or there was a set too early stage.

Friend announced hers at 8 weeks. Each to their own.

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 22/07/2015 16:42

Its totally up to you how you announce your pregnancy, but I can see why your dad would have wanted his mum told personally. I hate Facebook pregnancy announcements myself and haven't done one, but that's irrelevant!

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:43

It's my second child so not her first great grandchild from me.

OP posts:
SaulGood · 22/07/2015 16:44

You perhaps could have sent a group message to the people going on the hen do or tell them on the hen do. What happens is that your Granny is relegated to 'everybody I know on social media' as opposed to 'family member'. It just seems that way and people can find it a bit strange.

AdeleDazeem · 22/07/2015 16:44

Did you tell bride-to-be or would she have found out through Facebook?

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:44

I quite like hearing pregnancy announcements and updates on Facebook (beats the monotonous minion quotes anyway!) but I think I am a minority nosy

OP posts:
Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:45

I am bride-to-be so I hope she knows :)

OP posts:
SaulGood · 22/07/2015 16:45

Oh you can announce whenever. I'd never presume to tell a pregnant woman when it's appropriate to say something. Doesn't really matter that it's not the first great grandchild. All children and all pregnancies are marvellous. It's not about birth order, it's just a courtesy/manners issue for some people.

BeautifulBatman · 22/07/2015 16:45

I've got to say, if I'd been lucky enough to still have both my nannies alive, I'd have told them myself first. DHs nanas are both still around and we told them after we got negative t21 results. I'm now 28 weeks and I've put nothing on Facebook. A bit cringe imo.

Janeymoo50 · 22/07/2015 16:46

Rightly or wrongly, I would feel quite hurt if my adult niece announced her pregnancy on FB before telling either me or her granny. You're kind of saying it's ok for random people to find out (friends of friends etc) before close members of family. But hey, each to their own.

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:49

I don't have my Dads mums number as rarely speak - we get on just not as close as Mums side of the family.

I am normally impeccable with my manners.

So yes maybe IWU for not telling first and Dad WBU for telling me when I can do it and not taking the gripe up with me.

I will apologise and say I didn't realise he hadn't told her (true) but that I'm sure she'll be happy regardless.

OP posts:
AdeleDazeem · 22/07/2015 16:50

Double congrats then! Flowers

Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:51

I think for me it's how would I react if niece told me at same time as others - I'd not mind at all and be happy for her. Sometimes it's hard to remember looking from the other side.

OP posts:
Original poster
ByeByeButterfly · 22/07/2015 16:51

Thank you Adele :)

OP posts:
LaLyra · 22/07/2015 17:12

I would have told Grandparents and Aunts first because I have some cousins/friends who seem permanantly glued to FB and I wouldn't like my grandparents to find out from one of them rather than from me.

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