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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider my clubbing days well over

50 replies

Daisywellies · 17/07/2015 11:45

I have a friend who's always trying to persuade a group of us to go out clubbing with her or who tries to drag us off to a club anytime we meet up for a meal or a drink.

We're all in our forties and we're just not interested in clubbing anymore. The last time she succeeded in dragging us into one we were the oldest by far there and couldn't wait to leave.

If she wants to go clubbing fine, but AIBU in wishing she'd give it a rest and stop trying to drag the rest of us along with her. We're going out for a meal on Saturday and are already thinking up excuses as to why we have to go straight home afterwards.

OP posts:

WendyTorrance · 17/07/2015 11:53

Oh I'm with you OP. I'm 41 and filled my boots in the clubbing department from late teens to early thirties.

Ugh, the thought of a sweaty, noisy nightclub with sticky floors and drunks falling around fills me with horror. Although just writing the above makes me realise that I frequented some right dodgy joints.

And don't get me started on trying to find a taxi to get home or standing in a queue at the taxi rank for hours.....

WendyTorrance · 17/07/2015 11:54

A nice, civilised meal and home for pj's and telly. With wine, naturally. Yes to this.

MadAngryGnome · 17/07/2015 11:57

YANBU. I'm late twenties and my clubbing days are well and truly over. Give me a good documentary and a glass of wine at home any day!

Can't you just say to her you don't fancy it?

ghostyslovesheep · 17/07/2015 11:57

I'm 45 - I can still see the dawn in - we tend to go somewhere nice for cocktails/tapas early on then those who are up for it head to a club at 12 ish

if you feel too old don't go

MitzyLeFrouf · 17/07/2015 12:00

I like staying up till dawn still although I've never been a huge fan of clubbing, even when I was 21. Much prefer gigs or late bars. I wish the licensing laws were a bit more Spanish in flavour and decent bars stayed open till the wee hours.

WorktoLive · 17/07/2015 12:01

YANBU. A few months back I went to a work conference where there was a band that played covers versions from my alternative rock clubbing days 20 years ago and I danced all night and had a whale of a time.

I couldn't walk for about three days afterwards .

Meal and wine sounds much nicer. We still go out drinking occasionally. We go out earlier to guarantee that we will get a seat in the pub and will be ready to go home on or before the last bus (at 11 pm - we don't have night buses).

x2boys · 17/07/2015 12:02

ohh good god yes i,m 41 was quite late to leave clubbing behind about 31 the thought of going clubbing now makes me shudder!

lynniep · 17/07/2015 12:03

I'm 40 and I cannot. be. arsed. I will happily stay up late in a bar chinwagging (every now and again), but my dancing shoes were hung up long ago...

InTheBox · 17/07/2015 12:10

Don't think of an excuse, a plain, "don't feel like it/want to" etc should cover it. Tbh, even in my 20s I hated it. Always seemed so contrived and bothersome. Expensive, uncomfortable and an all round hassle!

Shakey1500 · 17/07/2015 12:16

At 45, I'm more partial to propping up a bar in a naice pub than clubbing as a rule. However last year my closest friend came on holiday with DH, DS (7) and I to Corfu.

Friend and I decided to go to Kavos for the evening. Him in his loud flowery shirt and me in a sensible jumpsuit affair. We had an absolute blast and being the oldest swingers in town, were besieged by teenagers/twentysomethings asking us why we were there and were we enjoying ourselves Rolled into bed at circa 5.30am

AlpacaPicnic · 17/07/2015 12:21

Oh god, the last time i went clubbing, i found a seat in the corner and just sat and listened to the music all night... and it was an 80s rock night so it was aimed at the older crown really.

You know how to foil her plan? Wear trainers and hopefully they won't let you in - plus, comfy feet!

Having said that, I did hit the 80s disco with the work girls last christmas and we had a blast - but it started early, like 8.30 after a meal (included - twas a good deal) and we were all dropping by midnight!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 17/07/2015 12:26

I never got the point of clubbing even when I was the Right Age for it. I just got bored of it very fast. Is it good to now have the excuse of age and family to get out of it, one of my friends was still nagging me to go until recently.
I'd much rather meet up for a meal where you can actually hear to have a conversation.
Not that long ago she put up a fb post about the music in the club 'making her old'.
Yeah, maybe take that as a sign?

CigarsofthePharoahs · 17/07/2015 12:27

Making her FEEL old that should day.

Original poster

Daisywellies · 17/07/2015 12:27

TBH I was never a big fan of the club scene and really only went along with it in my younger days because that's what everyone else was doing. For me one of the advantages of getting older is that nearly all of my friends no longer have any interest and like going out for meals or to the cinema. I love being home by 11 and have no interest in seeing in the dawn.

OP posts:

Shakey1500 · 17/07/2015 12:38

Oh I couldn't actually see the dawn, for some reason my eyes weren't working at 5.30am

It was funny actually, we were so paranoid our drinks might be spiked, we only drank copious amounts of bottled beer and went to the loo separately to watch each other's drinks

Methe · 17/07/2015 12:39

Depends on the club really.. Commercial clubs, full of pissed idiots -I can't imagine anything worse.

A proper club with music you love can be fun whatever age you are.

I know people going who go clubbing in my scene who are in their 60s.

SecondMrsAshwell · 17/07/2015 13:03

I didn't even like clubbing when I was young enough. Went twice and decided I would rather die than go again.

Having said that, I regularly see the dawn in.... But that's insomnia for you.

alsmutko · 17/07/2015 13:29

Oh I love a bit of a dance, me, even at 58 with manky knees. Clubbing though, no, not since I was 35 or so. Solution, have a couple of friends round and bung some disco divas or some ska on the Ipod dock.
What I'd really love though is an older clubbers' night which starts around 7.30 and finishes at midnight when all over 50s should rightly be tucked up in bed.
But get dragged to a normal club night full of 18-30s? The horror!
Put your foot down OP.

Redtowel · 17/07/2015 13:37

YABU. I am 39 with a two year old and try to go clubbing once a month.

Me and a group of girlfriends pick music we really like (soul, hip hop) and go out and dance all night. These are usually gorgeous outdoor venues (I don't live in the UK.)

It is so, so good for the soul to be out dancing with your friends, I literally forget every worry and care I have. The memory of it keeps me going for weeks afterwards.

Pick your venue and your music/DJ carefully and clubbing is brilliant.

FurtherSupport · 17/07/2015 13:46

I love dancing and a good party but clubbing is horrid for me these days.

I have "friend" who doesn't want see me unless we go clubbing. We're 45

Although I suspect it depends on the club, there isn't one in my town I'd want to go to.

AlpacaPicnic · 19/07/2015 14:07

Just had to come back to say I love the idea of the older people's club! Where the music isn't too loud, plenty of seats, plenty of loos that are nice and clean. Maybe even a tea and coffee machine...

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/07/2015 14:16

There's a club night in Glasgow called Hip Replacement. It's for hip, middle aged types.

WickedWax · 19/07/2015 14:19

I manage it about once a year (I'm 36), and that's enough for me. I like nice bars, with a bit of a dance floor, but tables and chairs, and nice cocktails, and preferably waiter service so you don't have to scuffle at the bar.

SaucyJack · 19/07/2015 14:20

YANBU.

I like dancing, and I like parties, and I like staying up all night drinking.

But am now of the age where I like to do it surrounded by those of my own age thankyouverymuch.

I find it quite depressing to be in a toilet or bar queue full of hot young things and realising the fat old woman in the mirror is me

butterfly133 · 19/07/2015 14:28

just tell her! I got sick of clubbing years ago. My sister still organises the odd night out for it - she's in her 40s and so are the friends who go with her - but I would hate it. There is no other reason I don't go, it's not to do with other commitments etc I just hate it and have no interest.

In fact, in my mid 30s I began to realise that the last few times I had done it, it was simply to please other people and at that time, even if it was part of a birthday, I just said no.

If you think she will flare up, she isn't much of a friend. It doesn't have to be age related, people in their 40s do go to clubs. You just don't enjoy it and life's too short to fart arse around doing stuff you hate.

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