To consider my clubbing days well over

[Daisywellies]

I have a friend who's always trying to persuade a group of us to go out clubbing with her or who tries to drag us off to a club anytime we meet up for a meal or a drink.

We're all in our forties and we're just not interested in clubbing anymore. The last time she succeeded in dragging us into one we were the oldest by far there and couldn't wait to leave.

If she wants to go clubbing fine, but AIBU in wishing she'd give it a rest and stop trying to drag the rest of us along with her. We're going out for a meal on Saturday and are already thinking up excuses as to why we have to go straight home afterwards.

[Yarp]

I haven't been into clubbing for about 20 years. I loved it when I was a teenager/early 20s. It's not unusual for clubbing to not appeal in your 40s (mind you I hate standing up in pubs, and too much noise, so I'm not a good example).

I agree with you, OP. what I love about being middle aged - you can do what you want.

[bigbumtheory]

YANBU to not like clubbing but you need to tell her rather then make excuses to go home early. Be honest, there's nothing wrong with disliking it and gives her a reason to seek out those who would want to go clubbing.

[pictish]

Just tell her! Say "I don't enjoy it any more so it's not for me. No thanks."

[Cat2014]

I love going out dancing and drinking- I'm 34! Don't do it often enough though
Yanbu if you don't enjoy it, but maybe compromise and go along with her sometimes if she's a good friend? Then maybe she won't mind on the other nights when you'd rather not!

[Happy36]

Age doesn't matter, if you don't want to go, you don't have to. Tell your friend you like to go places where you can hear each other's conversation...and she is welcome to go on to a club afterwards if she wishes.

[pictish]

I raved and clubbed my arse off for years, and at times I wish I could still be arsed to go - but no. I'm 39 going on 40 and the thought of being crammed in amongst those sweaty bodies and not being able to get a taxi home afterwards is enough to put me off. It's not new or exciting any more.

[FarFromAnyRoad]

Stopping clubbing is a kind of natural progression isn't it? Last time I went I knew it was my last ever time - all the kids were my son's age and I looked at the company I was with and knew without doubt that we were all way beyond tragic! It was time. I'm ok with that - as far as I can see life without clubbing is a zillion times better!

[camelfinger]

My favourite aspect of clubbing was always the takeaway afterwards. I enjoyed clubbing whilst underage but as soon as it was legal it wasn't much fun. Lots of queuing, paying, standing, getting squashed and having to shout. The toilets were often disgusting but at least you could have a chat in there and a quick sit down.

Judging by most of the responses on this thread it seems that many people found it a drag. I certainly wonder why I put up with it, probably just wanted to fit in.

[pictish]

When I get invited out to stuff like this now, I just laugh.
My pal did convince me to go to a woodland rave a year ago and I had a great time, but I spent most of the time drinking tea and having chat with various people I hadn't seen in ages, in her camper van.
Would do that again.

[Topseyt]

I don't think my clubbing days ever started. On the odd occasion I have ended up in one I have found them hell on earth.

Be direct. Say you do not enjoy it, so won't be going. Say you won't be offended if she decides to go without you.

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

And (this is where I turn into my mum) the music today is generally shite. And too loud.(and this is me who survived the 70s and 80s)
That saying, a proper club with decent drinks, food and plenty of decent music would be nice now and again. Sigh.

[RonaldMcDonald]

YABU no one makes you go, that is your choice

I agree that she should perhaps choose her crowd better

she is not being unreasonable still clubbing if she enjoys it

[EmeraldThief]

I think it depends on the club to be honet. There's a place by me that has soul and Motown nights and it's packed to the rafters every weekend. Somewhere like that Id enjoy, but actual clubbing playing commercial up to date chart dross is my idea of hell and always has been really.

[RonaldMcDonald]

I would need serious amounts of drugs and a week off to go raving now

In my head I still have it though

[CalmYourselfTubbs]

yeah i'd need industrial quantities of class As to get me going now.
still think about it....... but i'm too old now really.

[Dowser]

I started a thread about there being not many venues for the over 60 s.

I'd love to go to a club whete the music isn't bouncing off the wall. I missed out on clubbing first time around ( too old) but had great times at the discos in the 70 s..

I'd be up for that now. Especially if there was one where you could have a dance and then go to a a quieter room where you could still hear music and sit down and chat.

Maybe Richard Branson could open a chain of virgin clubs for the over 60 s. it certainly needs someone with some business sense to see that that they are missing out on a lucrative market.

(Okay...over 40 s then ;-) )

[ZaZathecat]

YANBu not to want to go. but if all of you feel the same how does 1 person manage to drag you all along? I would have thought a chorus of "No thanks!" would do the job!

[MummaV]

I'm 25 and don't really see the point in clubbing. I don't really like chart music and all the club's in my area seem to cater entirely to the university student crowd. However me and my friends have a compromise. One club has a wine bar downstairs and a decent outdoor seating area and then the actual club is upstairs, so we all go, grab a table in the wine bar or outside (on a table with a heater for when it gets cold) and those who want to pay the extortionate amount to go and dance and then return back every now and again for their drinks and a chat etc. Their drinks and bags are safe with those who wish to sit and chat and they get to dance without dragging the rest of us along! perfect compromise

[whois]

What is it she still likes about 'clubbing'? Is she really into her house/techno/whatever but hasn't got the right friends to go out with?

Or is she just harking back to her younger days nad wants to go to some shitty club with cheesy music and a crap DJ to get off her face on shit cocktails and try it on with boys?

If it s the former, she just needs to find friends who are also into that music. If its the latter, well, I'm not sure that's particularly cool at 40.

[susiedaisy]

I agree op I'm 45 and haven't been in a club for ten years couldn't think of anything worse.

[GoodbyeToAllOfThat]

No clubs for me. No way. I feel ill when I hear techno or house.

[littlejolee]

Yanbu, I'm only 24 and I can't stand clubbing! Few drinks and a bit of intelligent conversation in a pub with a couple of friends is far more appealing than random strangers getting fall down drunk and grinding on each other on a grimy dance floor imo!

[Couldashouldawoulda]

Hip Replacement - brilliant!!

[chrome100]

I'm 34 and still enjoy going out until late dancing and socialising. I don't drink a lot but still have a nice time. Where I live, lots of bars are open until 4ish so you don't need to go to a club to stay out late. Could that be an alternative?

[Millionprammiles]

She just needs to find herself a wider variety of friends.
There are friends you have perfectly pleasant early nights with. And friends you have debauched late nights with.
Neither is right or wrong. Just different. Its nice to be able to do both.