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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed with the system?

41 replies

nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:14

I am from a council estate/benefits family, my DM has no work ethic whatsoever and my father dipped in and out of out lives as he saw fit.

I worked hard to gain my qualifications and I have been a secondary teacher for 10 years. I work 4 days a week plus mornings, evenings and weekends planning and marking etc.

My DSis is separating from her husband and I have been helping her look into her finances. She chose not to go to school from the age of 13 and works 2 days a week in a call centre.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that, with benefits, she will take home more than I do?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 16/07/2015 11:17

YANBU. I can understand your frustration. Does she have children?

FarFromAnyRoad · 16/07/2015 11:18
Biscuit
OldBloodCallsToOldBlood · 16/07/2015 11:21

You have the satisfaction of a career you enjoy, with the possibility of improving skills and progressing to jobs that pay more. You'll also have a pension other than the state pension.

YANBU to be a bit pissed off that she'll be bringing in more money than you, but YABU if you think this will always be the case. It won't, especially with the budget cuts coming in.

Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:21

She has one, as do I.

What's that for Farfrom?

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 16/07/2015 11:23

Get a better paying job?

woowoo22 · 16/07/2015 11:23

Leave your job and go on benefits?

Is she really going to have more than you? I doubt it.

Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:25

Very helpful woowoo

OP posts:
Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:25

Yes she absolutely will take home more than I do, I don't understand why you doubt that.

OP posts:
Quills · 16/07/2015 11:26

I'd direct my ire on your parents for not instilling in her a good work ethic and the value of school, personally.

woowoo22 · 16/07/2015 11:28

Well what is your ideal outcome? Being bitter will eat away at you. Therefore surely your options are:

More pay
Leave
Campaign for changes to benefit system?

JessiePinkMan · 16/07/2015 11:28

Yabu
You have a career

Wittynewnameifonly · 16/07/2015 11:30

YANBU to be annoyed that you have worked so hard to get yourself out of that lifestyle and that it seems not to be paying off.

Good on you to rise above it.

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2015 11:36

I think when a child 'chooses' not to go to school, it's because something has gone quite wrong for them.

In fact I'm surprised that someone who claims to teach at a senior school would use a phrase like 'choose'.

She sounds as though she was failed quite miserably.

ilovesooty · 16/07/2015 11:37

I doubt she'd have asked for your help if she thought you were going to post about her on here.

I doubt very much if she's as well provided for in later life as you will be.

WorktoLive · 16/07/2015 11:41

I don't think people always realise how much CTC can add up to, especially for larger families, and what salary that equates to.

Someone working 2 days a week on minimum wage in the shop around the corner can easily be topped up to the same level as the take home pay of a full time experienced teacher on £30k or more.

Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:42

Worral we both have and still have exactly the same issues. It was a choice compounded by poor parenting, I chose to get myself up, ready and to school whilst she chose to stay in bed. There is a huge back story which I don't want to go into but I was not encouraged to go to school, in fact it was preferred that I didn't as it meant less hassle for DM.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 16/07/2015 11:44

You have the satisfaction of an intellectually stimulating job, sense of respect from those around you, the knowledge that you are making a difference to children's lives, setting a good example for your DC, plus the possibility of career advancement and more money in the future.

Any one of these is invaluable if you ask me

Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:45

Worktolive that's exactly it. I'm not posting about DSis as an individual and her story is irrelevant it's just that I had not realised that people in her situation would actually receive that amount of money.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/07/2015 11:45

So you made the right choices and she didn't.

Why do you sound so smug about it?

Lots of children make the wrong choices. I would like to think you have a little more understanding for the kids you teach.

Stubbed · 16/07/2015 11:46

But the money is also for the children. You wouldn't want your sister's children to suffer because of her poor work ethic, right?

OldBloodCallsToOldBlood · 16/07/2015 11:47

Well, you won't have to be pissed off for long. Just wait until next April when the tax credits threshold is cut. And again, in April 2017. Your sister is likely going to be unable to afford to live if she is as reliant on tax credits as you say.

x2boys · 16/07/2015 11:48

of course not and i say this as somone who went from a reasonably well paid job as a RMN to a carer for my son we are now in receipt of tax credits etc lots of people who post on mn have know idea how certain benefits can add up.

Original poster
nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:48

Thank you Witty and Laurie, your comments have been very helpful. It's difficult to see those things when I am comparing the number of hours I work with hers for the same pay but the things you have highlighted are more important.

OP posts:
CheesyNachos · 16/07/2015 11:51

I understand you OP. You are annoyed that you have done everything right, you have worked hard in the hope it all had some value and currently it seems as if it has been pointless. But, hopefully it will not have been pointless in the long run..... you have a future and prospects, you have opportunities in front of you.

It seems galling now. I understand that.

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2015 11:51

I think the more important thing here is that your sister's marriage has collapsed, and that thankfully she's getting financial help to help her cope.

It's a bit of a weird thing to get green eyed over, given the circumstances.

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