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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit annoyed with the system?

41 replies

nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:14

I am from a council estate/benefits family, my DM has no work ethic whatsoever and my father dipped in and out of out lives as he saw fit.

I worked hard to gain my qualifications and I have been a secondary teacher for 10 years. I work 4 days a week plus mornings, evenings and weekends planning and marking etc.

My DSis is separating from her husband and I have been helping her look into her finances. She chose not to go to school from the age of 13 and works 2 days a week in a call centre.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that, with benefits, she will take home more than I do?

OP posts:

stateoftheart · 16/07/2015 11:52

Are there differences in housing? She won't have her mortgage paid for her, perhaps you have a mortgage which will have it's benefits.

I sympathise as I have worked hard to graduate in the past year and have a ft job and am not any better off than being part time with a lot less stress and having ctc.

Original poster

nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:56

Worra it's unfortunate you seem to have made many assumptions about me from very little information. I am in no way smug, in fact quite the opposite and I am well known at work for my excellent rapport with students who "make the wrong decisions" so you have no basis on which to judge this.

Thank you to those of you who have given helpful comments, I just wanted to know how people felt about the issue raised and not have my personality nor professional qualities demeaned with no detailed information about me.

Have a great day

OP posts:

Alfieisnoisy · 16/07/2015 11:56

I have one child and am currently fully reliant on benefits. I get extra too as DS is disabled.

I still don't bring in anywhere near as much as I did while working. I am confused how she can be better off than you.

There are changes coming and she is going to have to look for work if her child is over 3. unless of course she or the child have a disability of some kind that you haven't mentioned.

Alfieisnoisy · 16/07/2015 11:57

I would also go with the career and prospects.....your life is so much richer in every way.

I clung to my job for as long as I could for that reason alone.

Original poster

nailsathome · 16/07/2015 11:58

Missed your last one, my marriage also collapsed 3 years ago so again, no need to judge on that.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2015 12:03

And yet you seem to be showing little empathy for your sister's collapsed marriage, concentrating instead on how much money she's going to get?

That kind of makes it worse imo.

OTheHugeManatee · 16/07/2015 12:05

I'm a bit that it's the OP coming in for a load of stick here.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 16/07/2015 12:07

Looked at simply I can see why it must be frustrating. But it isn't simple.

You have an education and a career in which you can progress if you choose to. The key word here is choice - your sister has none. Unless she quits her job and studies full time for the best part of a decade, there is very little chance she will have the same opportunities, you now currently have, in her life. This is probably it for her.

I wouldn't be jealous in your position.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 16/07/2015 12:10

Relying on benefits is no fun whether you're working or not by the way, it's not a salary like your income, it isn't stable.

The good news(?) is, she'll likely be a lot worse off very soon, so this won't be an issue for you any more.

Anomaly · 16/07/2015 12:18

Won't your sister's benefits change as her child gets older? Presumably once the child leaves full time education that'll be it for tax credits if they even exist then. I mean the alternative is to have kids living in extreme poverty so that people who did it the 'right' way can feel satisfied with their choices.

theyoungonenexttime · 16/07/2015 12:20

Sorry you are getting flamed OP, I do understand where you are coming from and am in a similar position with my Dsis. Benefit claimants can get up to £20K a year. I am in a job earning £17K gross and cannot claim anything. I'm not exactly sure what Dsis gets but I know I struggle each month but she never seems to.

ollieplimsoles · 16/07/2015 12:20

YANBU to initially be a bit miffed.

But you have freedom, you have a transferable skill you can rely on to make money. She is living off the state- so she is totally at the mercy of their decisions. If the government offered me £1,000,000 a year to quit my job, I wouldn't take it- because government hand outs (as we have seen) always come with stress and strings attached.

Laquitar · 16/07/2015 12:22

How come she has more money than a teacher with 10 yr experience?
i dont think this is correct and i dont think we can discuss it unless you give excact figures. how much do you each get. do you pay rent or mortgage? What about pension?

Anyone who envies those on benefits under Tories is either very thick or just trying to stir a propaganda.

PtolemysNeedle · 16/07/2015 12:27

YANBU, the system is screwed, but that's why people voted for benefit reform. When it finally happens, you will be able so see that you made the right choices financially as well as morally.

Alfieisnoisy · 16/07/2015 15:39

Reforms have already happened, more reform is coming. The system is not "screwed" if it meets the needs of those who have fallen on hard times.

People can get up to £20k on benefits (once the changes happen). This won't go far if your housing is £1000 a month and you've suddenly lost your job.

GraysAnalogy · 16/07/2015 15:40

I love it when people say 'oh you'll have the satisfaction of having a job'

Lots of us would rather be at home with our kids.

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