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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dd has chicken poxs and work

38 replies

zobey · 29/06/2015 11:48

Dd age 3 has chicken poxs. Im currently in training at a new job. I phoned in this morning and explained that i dont have childcare today as my dd has chicken poxs. They have rang me and said they want me in at 4 this afternoon for the last two hours of my shift. This means i have to get the hubby to finish work early and then go in myself. Wibu to say i can't get the hubby to finish earlier than 4:30( his actual finishing time.) Or should i be sating no my dd needs me. I have child care the rest of the week just not today.

OP posts:
oddfodd · 29/06/2015 11:50

If you can get him to cover then I would. Otherwise you might lose your new job. Crap timing though, I really feel for you :(

SoupDragon · 29/06/2015 11:52

Why can't you get your DH to finish early?

blink1552 · 29/06/2015 11:52

Depends on whether he can or not, and how much leave he already has booked off to look after her on other days.

You haveto juggle these things between you. We always try to ensure the one who has the more important meetings gets to go to work, and that we both take our fair share of the load.

Original poster
zobey · 29/06/2015 11:54

My mum is having dd the rest of the week for me to go into work.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 29/06/2015 11:56

As you're new there, you can't know if they're just being arsey, or if attitude is generally good and they need you there because some of today's training is the foundation for the rest of the week and it's important to hold everything together.

Can your DH finish early? Because unless it's really not possible at all for him, I think you should go in.

blink1552 · 29/06/2015 12:01

In that case, I think it is a really good idea for your DH to accommodate your training commitment if it's possible.

Childcare is not just women's work, and being seen to apply yourself to your training is really important.

Original poster
zobey · 29/06/2015 12:01

Im waiting for him to get back to me about it.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 29/06/2015 12:03

My dc were sick on the third day of my new job so my dh who has a ridiculously important job had to take the time off.

fiorentina · 29/06/2015 12:04

They may have arranged for someone to come in and train you today. If you can at all get cover I would try and go in and show your flexibility. Obviously it's a tricky situation but with a new job I would be trying my hardest to show I was dedicated however tricky it was, and not appear awkward.

WayneRooneysHair · 29/06/2015 12:05

What are you going to do if your DH's work doesn't let him leave early OP?

FieldTrip · 29/06/2015 12:05

I think if you can take most of the day off because DD is unwell, it's not unreasonable for DH to finish an hour or two early for the same reason.

This is one (of many) reasons why mothers still get a raw deal in the workplace. Too often all the sickness cover falls to them. It needs to inconvenience DH's employer just as much as it does yours.

AlpacaMyBags · 29/06/2015 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShatnersBassoon · 29/06/2015 12:07

Your husband will just have to take time off. He's presumably in a better position to negotiate this with his employer than you are. Is there a reason he didn't stop at home to allow you to attend your first day?

WayneRooneysHair · 29/06/2015 12:10

What universe am I living in? Some if not most employers won't let their employees finish early, mine doesn't...

AlpacaMyBags · 29/06/2015 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WayneRooneysHair · 29/06/2015 12:14

AlpacaMyBags I don't have kids, if I do have then fuck knows what I'll do.

oddfodd · 29/06/2015 12:20

If there's an emergency of course your employer would let you leave early Wayne. You might not get paid for the time but they can't physically prevent you from leaving

WayneRooneysHair · 29/06/2015 12:22

Maybe, not been in that situation myself yet.

ShatnersBassoon · 29/06/2015 12:25

A one-off two hour absence in an emergency would be acceptable in any workplace.

FieldTrip · 29/06/2015 12:26

When you're a parent and there's an emergency, sometimes you just have to tell the employer, rather than ask Wayne.

RiverTam · 29/06/2015 12:29

why do do many mothers accept the situation that it is they who have to cover things like this. Your child has 2 parents, in this instance I would have told (or frankly it would gave just happened as DH doesn't need telling these things) DH to take the whole day off as I needed to be at my new job.

WayneRooneysHair · 29/06/2015 12:30

I agree, I'm not saying that people can't ask to leave early but not every employer/manager gives a shit... It's unfortunate but that's the way some employers are.

diddl · 29/06/2015 12:34

Can't believe that your husband didn't take the day off so that you could do the training tbh.

DinosaursRoar · 29/06/2015 12:40

I think you and your DH have to have a rethink about whos "job" dealing with children is. Like most on here, I'm surprised you were the one to stay at home today, so early into a new job, rather than your DH who is established in his workplace.

Even if he earns significantly more than you, he now doesn't have a SAHP at home who's job it is to deal with sick children, so he is equally responsible for sorting ill children, and if you are at the start of a new job, then your need to be in work is greater than his.

If your DH is supportive of you working you need to be clear, being supportive doesn't just mean telling you to go for it, it's also stepping up and doing half. He will get more and more times like this when he has to cover childcare issues.

If you are now a 2 working parent household. Childcare is no longer solely your problem to sort. Of course he can leave 2 hours early.

RiverTam · 29/06/2015 12:40

That shocked me to diddl. DD hit chickenpox just after I started a new job and I don't remember any discussion about it, DH just took off the necessary time(about 9 days in total). You know, to look after his own child.

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