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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have bought DS a toy pram?

70 replies

Sansarya · 22/06/2015 07:53

DS is 16 months and for a while now has loved nothing better than to play with the wheels of his strollers. He is obsessed with them and even when I used to take him to playgroup and rhyme time I'd spend all my time trying to stop him leaving the circle to play with the wheels of the various strollers that were there.

So I figured that perhaps the best thing to do was get him a toy pram so that he could play with that instead. Found one on Gumtree (in blue so hardly a pink princess type pram!) so bought that for him but the comments from my family! My brother kept saying "but he's a BOY, why don't you buy him a car instead?" and my mum kept putting the pram away when she visited and made a point of telling relatives and friends how my brother was "horrified" that I had bought DS a pram. Recently I sent her a photo of DS sitting in it while it was folding down and pretending it was a go-kart and her comment was "ah, that's what boys should do with prams".

FFS, it's almost as if they're afraid that if you give a boy a toy pram he might grow up to be.... a father??

OP posts:
DoILookLikeIGiveAFuck · 22/06/2015 07:56

OMG YOU'LL GIVE HIM THE GAY!!!!!!!

Ignore them. Exactly, some day? He'll maybe be a father!

morelikeguidelines · 22/06/2015 07:57

Ridiculous . So ridiculous I can hardly believe there are people like that.

My ds is 16 months and loves the toy pushchair we have. Yes it was his sister's (and a present from relatives anyway) but I would happily have bought him one.

Fgs if he was role modelling his dad this is first thing he would do as dh always pushes the pushchair if we are together (and obviously if alone). But I just think all toddlers love pushing things on wheels - toy pram, walker, whatever

VashtaNerada · 22/06/2015 07:59

Wtf?!!! Of course boys play with prams! And men push buggies when they're grown up too. Both DH and DS are proof of this Smile

RachelRagged · 22/06/2015 07:59

YANBU . As you say, God Forbid he will be a Father one day ,

Nothing wrong in it at all. When one of my sons was younger he and I loved Supermarket Sweep born in 91 so for his 3rd birthday he got a shopping basket with those little play tins of food and cereal packets etc. He loved it.

When I was little I had a petrol station/car parking garage that was made for Me. It later became a zoo then was the base for the beautiful Doll House my Dad built me for Christmas when I was about 7 . Buy him his pram OP . Smile

grabaspoon · 22/06/2015 08:00

It's something he sees on a daily basis and has done since he was tiny of course he wants to join in / try it / be like a grown up . Prams also go fast and they're great fun to play with. I recently watched 3 1 year old playing with prams 2 girls and a boy and no one thought it was odd

elderflowerlemonade · 22/06/2015 08:00

The OPs parents haven't said anything about the pram making him gay.

Some people just have strong views on this (I agree it is silly when you sit down and analyse it) but it doesn't make them homophobic.

It's fine to let him have a pram, OP Smile

BarbarianMum · 22/06/2015 08:06

Ds2 had a toy pushchair that he loved and pretended was an all terrain vehicle (nothing allowed in the seat, raced through puddles and mud). An old man stopped us and said "doesn't he know he's a boy?" Dh, who was pushing the real pushchair, just laughed.

justbatteringon · 22/06/2015 08:08

A childrens speach therapist told me to get my son a pram, teddy and toy kitchen to play with because it helps to develop their language skills. You could use that excuse, she also told me that boys are sometimes at a disadvantage to girls speach wise because they don't get to play with these things.

I only got a toy kitchen dp's family didn't bat an eyelid with my family you'd of thought o was trying to turn him gay. So you're not alone.

RachelWatts · 22/06/2015 08:09

DS2 had a similar obsession with wheels, including embarrassingly the wheelchair of one of DS1's classmates!

One of my friends bought him a pushchair and he loved it.

Some people do feel strongly about boys playing with prams. I saw a dad desperately trying to tempt his son away from a pram at Toddler group by fetching ride-ons, fire engines and trains for him, all of which he ignored as he was having too much fun. He was playing with the pram in a stereotypical 'boy' way, though, by having races and crashing it!

YaTalkinToMe · 22/06/2015 08:09

YAB totally unreasonable.

elderflowerlemonade · 22/06/2015 08:12

Justbattering

The OP did not mention in her post that her family felt that the pram would 'turn her son gay.'

Withalittlesparkle · 22/06/2015 08:14

YANBU!!!!

Let toys be toys. I hate the idea that toys have a gender linked to them.

My DS will happyily play with dolls, shopping carts and kitchens, but then he'll happily play with dinosaurs, cars and diggers. I encourage him to play with anything that'll exercise his imagination and develop his understanding

MythicalKings · 22/06/2015 08:15

YANBU. He wants it and he loves it.

My mother was VU because she bought me a very expensive coach built twin doll's pram that I played with twice. I wanted a garage.

Original poster
Sansarya · 22/06/2015 08:16

Oh theyve not said it will turn him gay but I know that's where they're going as my mum and brother are quite homophobic. I once made a joke when I was pregnant about hoping DS would be gay as then we could go shopping together (note, I know all gay men don't like shopping - it was just a lighthearted comment) and my mum got really funny and told me not to be so stupid!

OP posts:
MomentOfWonder · 22/06/2015 08:17

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. Your very young son enjoys playing with a particular toy, the use of which is not going to harm him or anyone else. You got him one. I really struggle to understand why anyone would have a problem with this!

Socalled · 22/06/2015 08:19

elderflower, if you don't think they are being homophobic (in an unthought through way - since when do gay men flock around with prams?), then exactly what is it that the OP's relatives are so afraid of/worried about that they are prepared to try to censor what a toddler plays with? It's clearly a worry about gender roles, and a fear that the OP is warping her son's ideas about 'appropriate' masculinity.

Of course YANBU, OP. Challenge them. Look puzzled. Ask direct questions. Don't be fobbed off with 'Oh, you know exactly what's wrongvwith it'. Force them to state exactly what is wrong with a 16 month old playing with a pram.

justbatteringon · 22/06/2015 08:20

Elderflowerlemonade

I know if you read my comment it reflects my own family's reaction to me buying my son a toy kitchen not the op's.

MyLegIsHaunted · 22/06/2015 08:20

I bought my DS a little pink stroller when he was four and he loved it. Used to push his baby doll in it when we picked DD up from school.
No one batted an eyelid, we did get lots of "How cute!" comments though Smile

Your family is being silly and need to get over it.

Socalled · 22/06/2015 08:21

My three year old son doesn't have a pram, but he has a much played-with toy kitchen, a vacuum and a dustpan and brush - and he and other boys are always playing with the pushchairs at playgroup.

englishmummyinwales · 22/06/2015 08:21

Stick to your guns and let your children play with whatever they enjoy, don't be influenced by gender specific toys or your family's skewed opinions. My two boys (now 7 & 5) still have a blue buggy and incorporate it into their games occasionally, with my old doll inside. But they also play with Lego, vehicles, super heroes. They have a toy kitchen too!

elderflowerlemonade · 22/06/2015 08:21

Socalled - people are often silly about things they are not familiar with.

I personally dislike - actually loathe - the phrase 'catch the gay.' I don't think it should be said, even in jest. Especially not when it's not been said in the OP. I have to admit I feel a sense of disquiet when people on here describe how much their sons love tutus and Disney dresses, but I know it's just social conditioning that has made me feel that way.

If you are gay, it doesn't mean you want to be a girl (if you are a gay man) or that you want to be a boy if you are a lesbian.

As you can tell, I really hate that remark!

Chchchchangeabout · 22/06/2015 08:22

YAB terribly U. Everyone knows it is illegal for males to push buggies and prams Confused

JanineMelnitzGlasses · 22/06/2015 08:24

YANBU. Kids learn through mimicking & role play, they've been pushed around for last year in one so its only natural they'll want to play with one too.

I bought my ds one. It's bright pink, it was £5 and it's another colour he can now say. He's also got a dolly, and a kitchen. Dolly gets to drive the digger and the kitchen oven is currently postman pats garage.

familysizepack · 22/06/2015 08:25

They are ridiculous. FFS.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 22/06/2015 08:26

My son plays with his big sister's toy pram. My mum said he shouldn't be pushing a baby doll about in it but a solider or something masculine instead!
Of course mum, I'd much rather encourage him to shoot people than nurture them! No wonder the world is in such a mess with these attitudes.