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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated at this tea shop?

58 replies

MrsNextDoor · 17/06/2015 11:09

In my city there is a very nice tea shop....it's quirky and it's the kind of place people have celebrations...so Birthday teas and Hen Parties. It's quite expensive and my DD who is about to turn 11 asked if she could have an afternoon tea there for her friends...6 in total.

I just called them to enquire if it would be bookable....6 girls aged 11 and me...I specified that I would like to allow the girls to sit alone and order their drinks...the afternoon tea is set...so they wouldn't have to choose from the menu....the response was "Well no...we don't usually allow unacompanied children"

well they wouldn't be would they! I'd be there...just on another table nearby.

He then ummed and aaahed and said "Oh I actually don't think we've got any available tables that day anyway."

Yeah right.

So irritating! Or AIBU to think they'd allow this? Maybe I am? I mean I know the girls in question are all impeccably behaved...but HE doesn't I suppose..still....I'd be right there IN the cafe!! AIBU to be annoyed??

OP posts:
ElleGrace · 17/06/2015 11:12

I would be quite annoyed if I were you. You made it clear you'd be there to supervise, so IMO you should be allowed to sit on a separate table.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 17/06/2015 11:14

Meh....

Maybe he doesnt want to delve into this area of business. If a place becomes somewhere groups of 11 year old girls have their birthday parties, he may get less adult trade.

googoodolly · 17/06/2015 11:14

YANBU, that's daft. I could maybe understand if you were going to leave them there, but you'll be sat at another table!

Slothlorian · 17/06/2015 11:15

UANBU
That's crap

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/06/2015 11:17

Agreed. They wouldn't be unsupervised. The staff sound a bit rude to be honest, op.
If they want to turn away good business that's their loss.
Could you not do the same thing at home with little cup cakes ect, you could let the children get involved by making their own cakes, yes very messy but fun and therapeutic oh and a lot cheaper

GoringBit · 17/06/2015 11:17

YANBU - they wouldn't be left unaccompanied. Very poor on the tea shop's part.

AdventureBe · 17/06/2015 11:20

He could have handled it better, but if it's a tea shop that's a bit special, it's not unreasonable for him to not want it to get a reputation for having kids parties in.

Sazzle41 · 17/06/2015 11:21

He probably doesnt fancy a party of over excited 11yr olds who might get giggly and shrieky and put off his usual customers - and well and truly not want to got the party route where people might ask for extra's he doesnt want to provide - candles/special cake... Do it at home or in a hotel thats used to small celebratory meals...

tictactoad · 17/06/2015 11:22

He probably doesn't want to get known as a children's party venue.

Annoying but it's his business to take in whichever direction he chooses so I'd just try and find somewhere more accommodating.

hoobygalooby · 17/06/2015 11:22

Phone back, use a posh voice and book a table for 7 on Saturday not mentioning the children. I bet a table will suddenly be available.
Then turn up with the girls and let them order their own drinks.
Job done!!

MaxPepsi · 17/06/2015 11:22

He lets Hen Parties in but not a group of 11 year olds with an adult sat nearby?

Ridiculous, YANBU

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 17/06/2015 11:23

Six 11yo girls isn't the same as 15 toddlers but maybe he's just heard "children's party" and thought no way!

I'd be irritated too, but also think "your loss" and find somewhere better else.

Drgonzosattorney · 17/06/2015 11:23

The miserable git!! Could you get someone else to phone up to book a table for 7 ( to throw him off and no need to mention they're 11 years old). Or is that daft?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 17/06/2015 11:24

He probably doesn't want to have to stand & take orders from a group of kids that are likely to faff around.

Places like that tend to want to get your order and get to the next customer - especially if they're popular...

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 17/06/2015 11:25

What can I do though? Nothing really. I wouldn't want the girls to be somewhere they're not welcome....I don't want to do it at home as our place is tiny....and it's meant to be a treat...I;ll just have to think of somewhere equally nice. I feel like writing to them really...as Pepsi says, Hen Parties are ok but not 6 nice little girls!? Idiots if you ask me.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 17/06/2015 11:26

IKnow I said in my OP that the menu is set...they wouldn;t have to order apart from drinks.

OP posts:
Drgonzosattorney · 17/06/2015 11:28

Sorry Hooby I swear to god it took me so long to write my post I didn't see yours!

Birdsgottafly · 17/06/2015 11:28

From a legal POV, unless your party goes in together and sits together, the children are unaccompanied.

It would be a disruption if someone sitting at another table has to keep getting up to speak to the girls, or shout over.

I've got three DDs and have spotted them and their friends out and on buses, before they've seen me, at around that age, they don't behave in groups, as they do when there around parents.

If they don't want a bit of freedom, which is business the Cafe doesn't want, why is it a problem for you to sit at their table?

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 17/06/2015 11:29

Birds it's just that they're at that age where they want to feel a little grown up....to sit and order alone would be a "thing" for them. If I'm there, they won't feel as sophisticated will they. It doesn't matter...his attitude put me off anyway....

OP posts:
DoJo · 17/06/2015 11:30

Perhaps they didn't want to give up two tables for a group that could all sit together.

MaxPepsi · 17/06/2015 11:30

I would suggest going in to speak to them face to face.

Sometimes people can get flustered over the phone when a customers request is not simple and straightforward - you've flummoxed him by asking for a different place to sit.

If it still doesn't work - how about a picnic tea in the park/garden - granted that is weather dependent.

Have you a gazebo you could borrow? String up some fairy lights, give them all a blanket each if it's cold and let them make as much noise as they like in the garden. Borrow tea cups and saucers from friends and rope them in (the friends, not the girls) to help make the food whilst having a glass or two of fizz yourselves?

DrSeuss · 17/06/2015 11:31

Was it Betty's? I'd give them a miss. Totally overrated.

Birdsgottafly · 17/06/2015 11:31

Hen parties are fine because the police can be called and the adults made responsible for their behaviour, eleven year olds cant.

VivaLeBeaver · 17/06/2015 11:33

Pizza express are ok with this, infact for dds 12th birthday I didn't stay. I checked with the staff they were ok for six 12yos to be there without me and they said it was fine.

Dd and her friends are sensible and I gave the waiter full permission to tell them off if they did get giggly loud.

So maybe try somewhere like that?

Original poster
MrsNextDoor · 17/06/2015 11:33

DoJo I even asked what if I booked a table for myself and some other adults...that was when they said "Oh we're fully booked actually"

Max that wouldn;t work as the party is taking place in the city...they're doing an activity and then something to eat.

Not betty's no.

Birds lol...but I'd be there! No need for police.

OP posts: