The MI6 advert on Mumsnet Jobs

[MurielWoods]

To be a little bit disappointed?

They are recruiting for a Software Specialist but I can't help feeling that Mumsnetters have acquired a specific set of skills over the years that would make us ideal candidates for espionage.

My particular skills would be:

Being unnoticeable - as a middle aged women I am practically invisible in crowded places so I would be great at 'hiding in plain sight' providing that there were loos nearby

Uncanny ability to spot a 'bad-un' - after years of lurking on the relationship boards I think I could smell a baddy a mile off.

I'm a light sleeper - thanks to my knackered pelvic floor muscles I am awake a lot during the night

What would be your secret agent skills?

Like you, as a middle aged woman I am invisible.

But I have no attention to detail and need regular snacks so am probably not ideal spy material

A sixth sense that something is Going On in the vicinity. At the moment mine is honed to small child mischief but I'm sure it could be retrained.

I have this amazing ability to seem less intelligent than I actually am.

I can also sober up incredibly quickly. Vital in situations where having fun suddenly becomes serious.

I have an excellent memory for detail.

I have you all mentally spreadsheeted.

Darlings, we are the software. We'd be continuously uploaded to "clean skins" and spend our "career" in a perverted Buddhist wheel of existence in world hotspots.

Mmmm, sounds fun!

This made me laugh! Great thread.

I know when my children are even thinking about planning something naughty.

I can do any number of tasks one-handed while using the other to hold Velcro child and have the multi-tasking skills of a multi-tasking ninja.

I have a sixth sense and eyes in the back of my head.

I can multi task, plan a house move, remortgage, child rearing and childcare juggling whilst my husband thinks I am sitting doing nothing at all!

I can stop an errant school child with just a look and the raise of my eyebrows. Russian spies have no chance against me.

I have a death stare. Stops children in their tracks. Was once upon a time used against wolf whistlers and sometimes bad drivers.

We could be a team Suffolk.

I see what's going on here op. Or should I say m

I know you are trying to recruit us.

I know it all.

When ds said to me earlier "what? Why are you looking at me?" I knew he was about to bite his nails.

I anticipate everything. My speciality is foreseeing injuries to under 5's.

i also have the look... effective against husbands, children, recalcitrant pensioners and officious shop owners

i love to drive at speed, and rarely get burned off at lights. I own a seiceneto.

i am not afraid of dogs

i built an entire ikea kitchen assisted by three under fives and a cat with a leg in plaster.

i have an uncanny ability to know what people have done, mainly by following the trail of abandoned coats/keys/bags/cups/shopping/general clutter, but that could surely be refined and put to good use when tracking double agents.

seicento ..i am no Moneypenny when it comes to the typing.

cats you had a cat with a leg in plaster? Hope its ok now.

I'm like Angelina Jolie in Mr and Mrs Smith. I can catch a falling roll of foil with my eyes shut. And the jar of pesto as it tumbles from the fridge.

She is fine summerhouse...the under fives are all now strapping teens!

it was a broken paw, and she gave my mother a nasty turn by removing and leaving her little cat cast on the stairs. :o

I'm quite good at reading upside down and in reverse.
Good navigational skills and good spacial awareness.
Solving problems.
Keeping a cool head in an emergency.
Easily underestimated, particularly by men, particularly physically.
Very skinny and will be able to sneak in through very narrow places (although a bit less now).
Good at the death stare.

However, terrible for faces and names. I'd probably confuse an enemy spy with a friendly agent (and would probably claim they were double agents).

Forgot that I can recall the episodes and plot of most cartoons DS watches. So, excellent memory skills.

As a mother, teacher and ex wife of a passive aggressive man, i can spot a lie instantly.

I could be used to relay decoy information. I'm crap a bit useless at keeping things to myself. Hence dh just reading everything I've ever posted on mn hey honey waves

What about the MN scarf and possibly haircut You could spot. MNer a mile off!!