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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"Oh you will have an easier birth then"

54 replies

ollieplimsoles · 05/06/2015 14:21

I'm just over 20 weeks pregnant with my first DC. I've had a pretty difficult pregnancy so far- really horrendous sickness, acid reflux and I just started getting pgp and have been referred for physio.

Lots of ladies (normally older ones like mum and gran's age) have told me that a difficult pregnancy= an easy birth. Now midwives who skim my notes and see I've been having a rough time have started telling me "You'll find the birth so much easier" and "Women who suffer through pregnancy are usually pleasantly surprised at how easy labour is".

A friend gave birth last year, she had a terrible pregnancy but a very traumatic birth- I wonder if they said the same thing to her??

Still, AIBU to think this might be something to hold on to in the run up to labour? !

OP posts:

OhNoNotMyBaby · 05/06/2015 14:25

Go for it! YANBU for believing these old wives' tales truisms.

What will be will be OP. :)

ShesAStar · 05/06/2015 14:25

Who knows? It means nothing but if it is a comforting thought it can't hurt to hold onto it. Positive thinking and all that.

PennilynLott · 05/06/2015 14:28

Both were awful for me but the actual baby was a very easy one.

originalusernamefail · 05/06/2015 14:30

It was true for me, however I was so utterly sick of being pregnant anything would have seemed like a reprieve.!

5YearsTime · 05/06/2015 14:33

Difficult pregnancy
Non complicated labour but my baby had complications.
Easy baby.

kissmethere · 05/06/2015 15:12

I've never heard of this. Is it an old wives tale?
I had a bearable labour and not so great pregnancy. U wouldn't say it was easier.

Elllimam · 05/06/2015 15:13

I had good pregnancies and two births with a lot of intervention required.

splendide · 05/06/2015 15:15

I had a really easy pregnancy, fabulous no bother birth then a terrible first 3 months with the baby. Who knows?

5madthings · 05/06/2015 15:16

I have never heard this, I had easy pregnancies apart from a bit of spd and had easy births, painful yes but easy.

My midwife did say there was a correlation between fertility and easy births, so if you got preg easily you often have birth easily. I got preg first month with all five of mine... But if you have easy pregnancies and births perhaps you are more likely to choose to have more babies, as I did and that would scew the figures?

hazelnutlatte · 05/06/2015 15:16

I had a difficult pregnancy and birth was an emcs - not particularly traumatic for me but not the calm water birth I'd wanted.
However I do think there is a bit of truth in the old wives tale - because I'd felt so awful during pregnancy it felt amazing to get my body back. I remember going for a short walk about 5 days post c-section and just feeling so light and wonderful to be able to walk without pain. The c-section recovery was nothing in comparison to how bad I'd felt during pregnancy!

kissmethere · 05/06/2015 15:22

I wouldn't say...

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/06/2015 15:23

I had a shit pregnancy and after 11 hours of getting nowhere, I had a EMCS. It too was unpleasant.

SageYourResoluteOracle · 05/06/2015 15:25

Very unusual conception; touch and go pregnancy with long hospital stay and endless waiting to see if we were going to actually have a baby; text-book c-section, although it took several anaesthetists to actually site the spinal so it would work (over an hour to send my legs to sleep); baby delivered crying and although early and miniscule - only 2lb 10- had apgars of 7, then 8 and then 9. Brilliant and quick recovery from c-sec, probably due to the relief and elation I felt at DD arriving safely; 28 days in SCBU and a dream baby... but then hit terrible twos at 16 months!!! But, perhaps because actually having a baby felt so hard-won, and knowing that there won't be any siblings, I cherished the new born days as much as I could.

ThursdayLast · 05/06/2015 15:27

I feel like there is a division of 'good luck' around these things.

I had a v easy pregnancy.
A bad labour ending in EMCS
And even worse recovery/first 10 days.

But then when I went to a BF group, I found that some women had had relatively easy births, certainly less traumatic than mine, but were now killing themselves on getting the baby to feed, or sleep, or dealing with reflux.
None of those things were an issue for me. Shrug. So I feel like it is a bit swings and roundabouts.

That being said, if you find you have a hard labour - you're not alone, and you certainly won't have 'deserved' it

HootyMcTooty · 05/06/2015 15:29

You can't possibly know how the birth will go, but if you have PGP/SPD one things for sure, you'll feel a hundred times better afterwards! Good luck.

yorkshapudding · 05/06/2015 15:30

I had a pretty miserable pregnancy with lots of complications. I also had a pretty miserable 3 day labour but a very easy, laid back baby so I think it all balanced out in the end.

Skeppers · 05/06/2015 15:32

Oh God, don't tell me things like this, I've found pregnancy a breeze, never felt better!

FaintlyHopeful · 05/06/2015 15:32

I had a shit second pregnancy- I was definitely depressed but didn't realise it at the time. It was utterly miserable.
I had the easiest birth imaginable, kind of coughed her out and the black clouds lifted at the same time, not even the day 3 blues. I'm sorry you're having a crap time, I hope the old wives tales are true for you, too.

Original poster

ollieplimsoles · 05/06/2015 15:33

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone,

I feel like I'm looking forward to getting my body back a bit already. The pgp makes it hard to move around even now, and sleeping is getting harder.

5madthings I definitely fell pregnant quicker than I thought I would, and was so worried about the baby early on due to early losses in the family, that whatever happened in the pregnancy didn't really bother me. I feel a similar way about the birth to- I'll just be so worried the baby is ok during and at the end, I can't think of anything past that really.

I think it is an old wives tale but I had never heard of it before getting preg, my nan brought it up then midwives were mentioning it!

OP posts:

Original poster

ollieplimsoles · 05/06/2015 15:38

Thanks for everyone's really kind words, flowers for all of you- I think I will surely find something hard; the birth, the baby afterwards, who knows?

Having a tough time in pregnancy has alerted me to how well I can get through difficult things and has weirdly given me a bit more confidence, so when it gets harder I know when to reach out and that I can keep myself going if that makes sense.

OP posts:

fattymcfatfat · 05/06/2015 15:41

I had a very easy pregnancy with DS but a very difficult birth
DD was a difficult pregnancy and easy birth. and contrary to popular belief, SPD/pgp did NOT go away after birth. it took until DD was 10 months for physio to even start working, by which point I had had a contraception fail and was pregnant again. so now I'm 33 weeks through a very difficult pregnancy and practically immobile. I can't even get a bath/ shower without help in and out. but hopefully this will be another easy birth.

Feminine · 05/06/2015 15:50

For me,
Super fast conception 3 times.
Horrendous morning sickness for months on end... In bed months on end! For all three.
Easy fast births.
Baby one :laid back
Baby two : not quite so much.
Baby three : laid back.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2015 15:53

I had horrendous pregnancies. Hyperemsis, on drips for one of them and had it for 9 months.

My first birth was harder but I was a teen and scared. Once I go to 3cm the labour was 12 hours and he was a ventouse delivery. I pushed for 2 hours.

My 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th were all an hour long from start to birth and two pushes for the head. They hurt and it shocks your body going from nothing to a baby in an hour but I couldn't have asked for better births. Once the pain really kicked in they were out and I was up and about straight away and home in 4 hours carrying on like normal.

I had no stitches with any... not even with the ventouse, although the ventouse did bruise me and it hurt like fuck to pee until I found pouring a jug of water down there while peeing took the sting away.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2015 15:54

Oh and the first four were easy babies. Slept right through from a very early age and I had to wake them up.

Baby number 5 was a complete nightmare baby who never slept and cried and cried and cried and I rarely slept as she would only sleep 15 mins at time. Reflux baby.

Lovemylittlebear · 05/06/2015 15:54

Shitty pregnancy for all of 35 of our 40 weeks. Birth trauma. A mess after birth lol. BUT THE MOST WONDERFUL LITTLE GIRL AND BEST FRIEND I COULD EVER WISH FOR :)

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