"Oh you will have an easier birth then"

[ollieplimsoles]

I'm just over 20 weeks pregnant with my first DC. I've had a pretty difficult pregnancy so far- really horrendous sickness, acid reflux and I just started getting pgp and have been referred for physio.

Lots of ladies (normally older ones like mum and gran's age) have told me that a difficult pregnancy= an easy birth. Now midwives who skim my notes and see I've been having a rough time have started telling me "You'll find the birth so much easier" and "Women who suffer through pregnancy are usually pleasantly surprised at how easy labour is".

A friend gave birth last year, she had a terrible pregnancy but a very traumatic birth- I wonder if they said the same thing to her??

Still, AIBU to think this might be something to hold on to in the run up to labour? !

I heard it loads during both my pregnancies.

For me it was true.

Both pregnancies were horrible. HG to the point of hospitalisation and drips with number 2. Morning, noon and night, almost from conception to birth. I was still throwing up when in labour the first time.

First birth was 4 hours and OK, second time was just over an hour from the first twinge to almost giving birth on the midwife unit's door step. I got away without any stitches or anything

Oh, and fast conception both times.

Baby 1 was laid back. Baby 2 most definitely wasn't

Apparently my labour was going to be quick and easy because I am blood type A+ according to my midwife... Yeah 24 hours later and a forceps delivery later tell me it was fast and easy.

It's just what people do. Just take it with a pinch of salt. Ce sera sera

Difficult pregnancy with high BP and nasty morning sickness.

3 days of labour culminating in a 3am CS.

High needs baby who never slept until 2 yo.

I do, however, have the world's cutest child; fun; sweet; funny; happy and kind. So that's the pay off.

Even the relatively long labour I had with DS2 was worth it to get rid of the heartburn that had plagued me for months. I was pleased to have DS2 as well

Severe sickness and early SPD here. Followed by failed induction and emergency CS after 2 day labour.

My baby was, and still is, perfect though. She permantly smiles, slept through from 2 months, didnt want to be held all the time and at 11 months is ahead in most of the things (except teeth she she still only has two)

There is no hard and fast system with babies but hopefully your birth and baby will be fine!

It's just bollocks. I think it's extremely unlikely that there's any scientific evidence showing that a difficult pregnancy equates to an easy birth, or vice versa. Why midwives are perpetuating this nonsense I have no idea.

Why midwives are perpetuating this nonsense I have no idea.

The same thought went through my mind, I think they were just making small talk and I trying to keep my spirits up after seeing I'd had a tough time so far.

I can understand my nan saying it, but when the midwives came out with it as well I started wondering about it more. My midwives have to absolutely lovely, and that has helped me get through some difficult bits of the pregnancy, so I hope I get midwives like that at the birth.

I believe in the baby lottery.

Pregnancy, Labour and first few months. It can very enormously even in one family. I know someone who had a textbook perfect first pregnancy and labour and then another (same dad) was horrific on all accounts. My own were totally random.

Good luck playing the lottery

haha thanks babyMurloc I'll see what I get! Not doing to well so far :D

Everyone is different and each pregnancy is different. I got told its the first thats an harder labour couldnt be more wrong was actually the easiest.

Kusr enjoy each stage. It doesn't happen that often unless you are a Duggar.
Only one DC for me.

Very hard to concieve
Easy pregnancy
Easy birth
Lovely easy baby

Wish I could do it again

Easily conceived? Check.
Easy pregnancy? Check.
Easy birth? Check, if you count an ELCS as easy. Attempting to birth my extended breech baby naturally would, I suspect, not have been quite the same calm experience.

people talk such rubbish

I have 7 children and had a MC.
all pg and births were different.

but I do hope you'll have a relatively easy time giving birth OP, good luck.

It was true for me! Two HG pregnancies both ending in very high BP in the last month and I was in and out of hospital and very fed up! Both labours were very quick, sudden urge to push and baby delivered..........

You can't possibly know how the birth will go, but if you have PGP/SPD one things for sure, you'll feel a hundred times better afterwards!

That is not true! I'm still suffering 18.5 years after the birth of my last baby, and am in bed after having my 6th major operation on my pelvis in 9 years.

I had an awful pregnancy with DS2. I was in a wheelchair with my SPD, I couldn't walk at all. He was born after a 20 min labour.

With DS1 I had SPD from 36 weeks, no morning sickness. I had a 16 hour labour and a ventouse delivery.

Fairy I'm very sorry

Having a tough time in pregnancy has alerted me to how well I can get through difficult things and has weirdly given me a bit more confidence

I'm 16 weeks with my first and I really relate to this! I've been so sick (off work for entire first trimester and still vomiting a few times a day) and have reflux and while it's been really hard, it's also taught me that i can cope with a lot more than I think! I hate feeling sick (would rather be in pain tbh) and hardly ever vomit, so j was dreading the sickness - but you know what, I'm just dealing with it, keeping a sense of humour and I'm proud of myself!

DC1 was a good pregnancy and hard labour (good baby)
DC2 was a good pregnancy, very simple birth but very high maintenance baby!

It's also taught me the DH is incredibly good at stepping up to the mark when I'm vulnerable and need help. It's really reassured me that he'll be great at supporting me during labour and early parenthood

It's ok Hooty.

SPD (pgp) meant that with three kids I have a combined pushing phase of 25 mins. First took took 15 mins, second 4 mins and the last one more or less fell out. So that's something lol

First pregnancy- shit. Birth- fairly straightforward
Second pregnancy- even shitter. Birth - fucking horrendous
Will see what this next ones like but had vile first 13 weeks so far. Yay

Well I had a really horrendous pregnancy, spent s lot of time in hospital with hyperemesis. Spd. Labour was also horrendous

I did find having a newborn easy though. So much easier than being pregnant and I just felt so well even with a stitched-back-together infected fanjo

My second pregnancy was much easier and the birth was really easy - I've had worse head aches!

Well of this is true my baby is just going to drop out painlessly when I sneeze at 40 weeks..... :)

I wonder if it's just one of those compensatory things people say to make you feel better, like if it rains on your wedding day you'll be happy forever.