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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the kids out every time?

44 replies

Hidingbehindclouds · 04/06/2015 09:57

Dh is always telling me I'm overreacting so please let me know.
When I go into a shop for milk or a petrol station or 'nip in' anywhere, I take my dcs out of the car. I have a 7mo ds and 3yr old ds, and I always take them in to wherever I am, Paying for petrol for example, I can't leave them in the car to go and pay because I'm worried something might happen to them and they will be stuck in the locked car without me. It only takes a few seconds for something to go wrong in my eyes. What if I fainted paying for petrol, Noone would know they are my kids would they....AIBU? Do you ever leave your kids for a minute for things like this?

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 04/06/2015 09:58

Yes, I do. Depends on the circumstances but sometimes it's not worth the hassle getting DD out of the car.

AmandaTanen · 04/06/2015 10:01

For petrol I use places with pay at pump, thankfully all our nearest garages have them. I take them into shops etc even when it's just. Pint of milk.

formerbabe · 04/06/2015 10:05

For petrol...if I can see the car while I'm paying and there's no queue, then I leave them. If the queue is long and I can't see the car from the inside then they come in with me.
As for shops, I never leave them in the car no matter how quick I'm going to be. They always are with me.

VeryPunny · 04/06/2015 10:06

In the nicest possible way, YABU. Your kids are more likely to come to harm being dragged about a forecourt than tucked up in car seats.

BooChunky · 04/06/2015 10:08

I'm pretty overprotective and rarely let my DD even let go of my hand while we are out, but I leave her in the car while I'm paying for petrol. It seems ridiculous not to!

And if you fainted while paying, presumably you'd have your car keys in hand? So they could discover your car that way... Wink

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 04/06/2015 10:08

I don't leave them unless there's an adult in the car. They're 4 and 18 months. I feel they're too young.

DisappointedOne · 04/06/2015 10:13

My DD is 4 and can get out of the car on her own now. I don't leave her now as it's more dangerous for her to come to find me than to be with me anyway. But when she was little I would if she was asleep.

ItsTricky · 04/06/2015 10:13

YANBU. I always worry about something happening to me and being carted off to hospital unable to tell anyone to look after my children. Unlikely I know, but I feel happier taking them with me.

teacher54321 · 04/06/2015 10:15

I leave DS in the car to pay for petrol and in the car to pop into our local tesco express to get a pint of milk etc. I wouldn't leave him for any longer than that.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/06/2015 11:10

At the petrol station, I always left the kids in the car - as others have said, it's probably more dangerous to walk them across a petrol station forecourt.

But I would take them with me if I was nipping into a shop - you are far more likely to a) take longer and b) be out of sight of the car, and not able to keep an eye on them.

I can't recall any stories about children left in the car at the petrol station coming to harm.

grumpyoldlady · 04/06/2015 11:20

I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with. I grew up and raised my own dcs in an era where people in our village would happily park the pram outside the shops, often leaving small children holding onto the pram too while they they went inside. It doesn't happen now, everyone lugs their prams and carseats into the shops with them, even though the shops and doorways haven't expanded any over the years like many town centre places have.

CrapBag · 04/06/2015 11:27

Not once have I ever seen a parent get their child out of a car to pay for petrol. I'd never even heard of it until I came on here. I have also never been to a petrol station where you cannot see the forecourt from the queue and counter. YABU to take them out for this. Although I don't actually remember the last time I paid in the petrol station, I always pay at the pump which does solve this problem.

Any other shop though, YANBU. I told DH off the other day as he left our 7 year old in the car to nip into morrisons. I wasn't happy about it. He couldn't see him, DS could easily get out of the car if he wanted to. DH thinks IABU because it was 2 minutes but I think it's an unnecessary risk and he should not have left him out of sight. The only shop I do nip in is the chemist by my doctors where I can park outside and see the car from the door and I am picking up something that is already ready. If I see it's busy I take them in. Mine are a bit older though. I never left them as babies to do this.

ItsTricky · 04/06/2015 11:32

There have been cases of cars being stolen in forecourts with children in the back.

ItsTricky · 04/06/2015 11:33

*from forecourts

DisappointedOne · 04/06/2015 11:33

That's extremely'rare

Original poster
Hidingbehindclouds · 04/06/2015 11:39

The town I live in doesn't have pay at pump, and the place I get petrol has blacked out windows so you can't see anything. Would that change anyone's mind? It seems to be split opinion anyway so at least I know I'm not completely neurotic Wink

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/06/2015 11:43

Stay in the car for paying for petrol especially if asleep provided I have a clear view of the car. ie it is in the front row. It's not possible to lock our car without putting the alarm on so they will set it off if I actually locked them in [aside from the safety aspect]

Shops no. They'd go mental for one and DD1 is 5 so I wouldn't trust her as far as I would throw her not to climbed into the front, have opened the sun roof and switched the radio on to gangsta rap.

She did come home with a reading book last week about a kid with an invisible cat which was useful. "They" managed to blow the car electrics by mucking about in the car and got stuck inside for a few hours until an engineer sorted it out. That's made a bit of an impression I didn't big it up at all

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/06/2015 11:43

Blacked out windows - I'd err on the side of caution and take them in.

milkysmum · 04/06/2015 11:49

I have a 6 and 3 year old. I have always left them in the car to pay for petrol even when they where babies. I would also pop into a shop like spar if I could park right outside and could see the car from the till and it was just for milk, not to do a full shop!

blink1552 · 04/06/2015 11:52

i leave them in the car at petrol stations. This is not because I'm less neurotic than you OP, it's because I think they are safer locked in the car than walking about where cars are moving, visibility is limited and drivers aren't looking out for 3 year olds.

In shops I've always taken them in apart from one specific place where you can park right outside and see them through the window.

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/06/2015 11:57

to be honest, in a risk assessment, I would think taking them with you would offer the greater risk.
How many stories have you read about .....

a) children being stuck in a locked car as their parents pay?...or
b) children being abducted from a locked car.....?

I think none.

myneighbourtotoro2 · 04/06/2015 12:03

I do the same as you op

NerrSnerr · 04/06/2015 12:06

I leave in car if I can see the car as in my opinion crossing a forecourt is riskier.

hambo · 04/06/2015 12:09

When mine were as young as yours I would take them out. Too risky to leave them in - what about fire? And cars have been stolen from garages with kids in them! Now I use pay at pump.

VelvetRose · 04/06/2015 12:10

DD is 12 now but when she was a baby I would leave her in the car to pay for petrol if she was in my sight all the time. Otherwise I'd have taken her in with me.