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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take the kids out every time?

44 replies

Hidingbehindclouds · 04/06/2015 09:57

Dh is always telling me I'm overreacting so please let me know.
When I go into a shop for milk or a petrol station or 'nip in' anywhere, I take my dcs out of the car. I have a 7mo ds and 3yr old ds, and I always take them in to wherever I am, Paying for petrol for example, I can't leave them in the car to go and pay because I'm worried something might happen to them and they will be stuck in the locked car without me. It only takes a few seconds for something to go wrong in my eyes. What if I fainted paying for petrol, Noone would know they are my kids would they....AIBU? Do you ever leave your kids for a minute for things like this?

OP posts:

Greenrememberedhills · 04/06/2015 12:20

Of course it's very very rare. However, I seem to remember hearing a car was driven off from a petrol forecourt in Eastville Bristol whilst the driver was inside paying for petrol, and there were two children in it.

clippityclop · 04/06/2015 12:22

Mine are older now but when they were babies I would leave them in the car to pay for petrol at our local place just a few steps away from the car but always took them out to do anything else. I'll never forget the terrible case which made the news when a grandmother left a baby and a toddler sleeping in the car on a very hot day. She parked just round the corner from the shop she needed to go to but was involved in a road accident and was rushed to the hospital unconscious. The poor children both died. Urge Dh never to be tempted to leave the children in the car unless they're in his sight.

Katinkka · 04/06/2015 12:23

Never left my children in a car alone.

HoggleHoggle · 04/06/2015 12:26

I always take ds (18mo) with me, even paying for petrol. I think it's a valid point by pp that it's likely more dangerous carrying him across a forecourt but I just can't bring myself to leave him. I think this is also influenced by the fact that he gets really upset if I go away from him, so I know full well he'd be in the car sobbing.

No way would I leave him sitting in a car park while I went to shops. I don't know at what age I would, he's so small now it seems as though I never will but there will obviously be a point at which I'm ok with it.

happy2bhomely · 04/06/2015 12:36

I have never and would never leave my kids in a car alone. Not on a drive, or outside a shop or at a petrol station.

But, I have also never left them outside a toilet cubicle or let them go on school trips before ks2, or lots of other things that normal people do!

I have anxiety and I prefer to keep them in my sight as much as possible.

Arsenic · 04/06/2015 12:48

YANBU. I have never ever left any of my DC alone in a vehicle.

YAB even less U considering that they would be out of sight.

(I don't remotely suffer from anxiety BTW and I'm not particularly over-protective but I suppose I am more risk-averse regarding the DC than I am generally. YOU have to be comfortable with the choices you make, nobody else )

MrsCookieMonster · 04/06/2015 12:55

Of course YANBU if you are happy to do it and it would make you uncomfortable to leave them.I would be the same as you in that I wouldn't leave DD but also think it is perfectly reasonable to leave them if you can see the car and are gone for a very short time and are happy with it.
For people saying that it is riskier to drag them across a forecourt I would say that I hear about kids being knocked down on petrol forecourts as much as I hear about kids being abducted from cars parked in the forecourt or cars going on fire i.e. minimal or never so to be frank that is a load of rubbish it just comes down to what you think is safest as it does with most things!

maninawomansworld · 04/06/2015 13:17

Depends on the situation - on a forecourt where you can see the car from the kiosk then so long as the windows are up and doors locked YABU. Just leave them in there.

In a dodgy part of town outside shops with 'youths' hanging around... probably take them in with you.

TTWK · 04/06/2015 13:24

There have been cases of cars being stolen in forecourts with children in the back.

For every time that has happened, I'd bet a thousand parents have slipped on a patch of diesel and injured the child they were carrying.

Garage forecourts are dangerous places, with spilled slippery fuel and vehicles driving in and out. Kids are far safer left in the car.

Don't let your vivid imagination cloud your common sense.

JassyRadlett · 04/06/2015 13:40

For every time that has happened, I'd bet a thousand parents have slipped on a patch of diesel and injured the child they were carrying.

Data?

Arsenic · 04/06/2015 13:46

Don't let your vivid imagination cloud your common sense.

You could factor in risks of DC squabbling, choking, a DC taking the handbrake off, letting themselves out of the car, the chance of central locking malfunctioning and on and on and on. Or conversely, the chance that none of those things happen on any given day.

The point is that OP's DH is telling her she's 'over-reacting'. The word 'neurotic' has also been mentioned.

That's what needs firmly rejecting. It is not excessive to not leave small DC unattended. It might be debatable. But pouring scorn on either choice is unhelpful. Both positions are within the bounds of reasonable and neither deserve emotive criticism.

Everyone should do what feels comfortable and tell the detractors to piss off.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 04/06/2015 13:55

My risk assessment of the situation is that a small child is more likely to be knocked over by a car or slip on a spillage than be abducted from the back seat while I'm paying.

PumpkinPie2013 · 04/06/2015 17:27

I always take my ds with me, even for petrol if I can't pay at the pump.

Some friends of my parents almost lost their three year old daughter about 10 years ago!!

The child was left in a locked car due to very heavy rain while her grandma stood about 10 feet away waiting for her other grandchild to come out of school (so loads of people about collecting children ).

In the few minutes grandma was out of the car, a woman managed to get the child to unlock the car door, took her out of the car and walked off down the street with her!!

It was sheer luck that the school child came to his grandma quickly and she spotted her granddaughter's coat near the end of the road so they could run and get her. A minute longer she would have been out of sight!

Maybe it's rare but I wouldn't risk it.

vodkanchocolate · 04/06/2015 17:37

Well recently ive had the car to myself alot dh usually had it for work so id never really had to bother with dragging them in and out as we would be on foot anyway :). However this last few weeks ive had this dilemma if its just my 2 year old ive been getting her out would never leave her. I had to nip in chemist for a prescription other day and used my own judgement and left all 5 kids in the car eldest is 9 and quite sensible didnt like leaving them though was a dodgy looking guy hanging around (probilly my paranoia) so rushed back as quick as I could. Got back to find them all bickering and unfastened was not impressed

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 04/06/2015 17:42

At petrol stations it never, ever occurred to me to take them into the shop, in fact I used to stop at one for bread and milk so I could leave them in, they're 9 and 11 now and come in if they want to buy something. Different if you're out of sight of the car though.

00100001 · 04/06/2015 17:45

I'd leave them in there.

They're presumably strapped in?

What could possibly happen to them in the few minutes?

00100001 · 04/06/2015 17:51

the scare-mongers who post stories like "One time a car got stolen and a child was in there" are forgetting the incredible unlikelihood of that happening.

Let's compare the scenarios.

CAR STOLEN: What is the number of cars have been stolen from a forecourt in the UK?
ACCIDENT ON FROECOURT / IN SHOP How many slips, trips, falls and pedestrian/vehicle collisions on the forecourt?

Now, I have no proof (maybe I could find figures) but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Scenario two is more likely to happen and result in greater harm if it did occur.

00100001 · 04/06/2015 17:52

it's like saying "well, i had a friend in a car accident and the fireman said if he'd been wearing his seatbelt he would have died, so I'm nver wearing a seatbelt!"

MrsDonovan · 04/06/2015 18:13

Put petrol in your car when you don't have dc with you / after bed time / weekends/ get dh to do it :)

I use pay at pump and only use garages that have them if I haven't filled up without dc but we both have a long commute so used to planning when to fill up .

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