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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let stranger use my toilet?

56 replies

SunriseSunrise · 03/06/2015 10:42

Not sure if I've just been sensible or massively paranoid (suspect the latter)

I'm home by myself, a guy knocked at the door and said he had broken down nearby and could he use my toilet.

I said no, sorry and he thanked me and left.

I have been torturing myself thinking I have been a proper cow!

To be fair, there is a garage in the next street as well as a shop etc. We are not in the middle of nowhere!

AIBU to have told him no? Or have I been scaremongered?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 03/06/2015 10:43

I'd have said no as well....I wouldn't let a stranger into my house.

wowfudge · 03/06/2015 10:43

In those circumstances I would have said no too, especially if I was on my own.

Number3cometome · 03/06/2015 10:43

If a guy had broken down nearby and needed the loo, I think he would have pissed by a tree!

You did the right thing, he could have had much worse intentions than leaving a stinker in the lav.

Eigg · 03/06/2015 10:44

I have once allowed it, but felt extremely uncomfortable about it afterwards and probably wouldn't do it again so no, I don't think you were unreasonable.

NomiMalone · 03/06/2015 10:44

No way!

I've watched enough Criminal Minds to know that.

If he was desperate he could pee behind a tree.

Only1scoop · 03/06/2015 10:46

It's a bit odd

Would have been a no from me.

FenellaFellorick · 03/06/2015 10:47

I wouldn't. I am also paranoid. Grin I'd have directed him to the public loo (there is one in our village) or to the nearest pub or other place that had a loo.

I wouldn't take the chance that it was a ruse to gain access to my home. Chances are it isn't, but there is a genuine chance it is and it's your basic risk assessment, isn't it? Likelihood x severity. Access to my home isn't a risk I'm willing to take.

It's sad really. Most people are genuine and it's horrible to really need the loo. But I wouldn't risk it. I'd rather tell him to pee in my hedge Grin

Original poster
SunriseSunrise · 03/06/2015 10:48

Phew! Feel less like a wanker now.

Yes I have watched a lot of criminal minds etc - probably too much as everyone is now a potential serial killer Grin

OP posts:
Sheitgeist · 03/06/2015 10:48

A complete stranger knocking on the door and asking for entry into your house?

No way.

He most likely was genuine, but you never know.

YWNBU

AuntyMag10 · 03/06/2015 10:49

Yanbu I wouldn't as well.
However 'torturing' yourself is a bit dramatic.

Charlesroi · 03/06/2015 10:53

I wouldn't have let him in either There are lots of shops and pubs round here which have toilets, so I'd think he was checking who is in at this time of day/hoping to pinch something. It's a pretty sad state of affairs, but there are a few horrible people out there and you have to look after #1.

nocabbageinmyeye · 03/06/2015 10:55

God no, sensible for sure! I thought you were going to say you wouldn't let the Tesco delivery man or the person painting your house use it, then I would have said YABU but a complete stranger to knock on the door, no definitely not. I'm surprised anyone would knock and ask to be honest

GlitzAndGigglesx · 03/06/2015 10:57

Man or woman I would say no. My sister laughs at me if a delivery comes and I ask to see ID before opening the door but I saw a reconstruction years ago on crimewatch that shook me up!

wowfudge · 03/06/2015 11:42

Actually good point made above - be extra vigilant and security minded: he may have been casing the joint. I'm not being dramatic - mention to your neighbours if you know them.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 03/06/2015 11:58

YANBU. He probably would've done a massive stinky shit, leaving skids all over your loo, which he then couldn't remove because he couldn't find the loo brush or bleach! And pissed on the floor or the loo seat! And left the loo seat up! It's really not worth the risk INHO Wink

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/06/2015 12:01

Yanbu. I'd have said no too. He can piss by a tree or bush.

It's a classic trick

LittleMissRayofHope · 03/06/2015 12:05

Definite no here.

Like others have said, a man can wee anywhere.

The scenarios racing through my head now... Confused

pressanykeytobegin · 03/06/2015 12:05

Last year a delivery man askedbifbhe could use my loo, and I let him in. I was in an apartment over 3 floors at the time and the front door was on the bottom, and bathroom was on the top. I stood at the living room door on the 2nd while he went in.

When he came out he started saying things like "you've got a nice body can I touch it" and asking repeatedly. The front door was open and I heard my next door neighbour at their front door so I shouted and he left.

I reported it to the company who weren't interested, and the police said there was nothing to report as he didn't actually do anything or threaten to.

I'd never let a stranger in again.

MsMargaretHale · 03/06/2015 12:09

Ask yourself whether you would ever knock on the door of a complete stranger and ask to use the loo. Would you do it if there was a garage and a shop in the next street? I would call the local police station to let them know about this. Definitely up to no good.

Snozberry · 03/06/2015 12:10

It doesn't really matter what his reasons were, I wouldn't let a stranger into my house while alone either. It might be mean but you have to make the decision that's best for you not him.

OnlyLovers · 03/06/2015 12:16

YANBU. I know what you mean about feeling bad about it though (although you shouldn't!), and if it were a delivery driver or someone else who was legitimately at my house/door, then I'd probably feel differently.

Thinking about it more, where I live there's a cafe and a couple of shops round the corner and a park with trees he could piss behind, so I'd direct them there instead and hopefully not feel guilty.

The5DayChicken · 03/06/2015 12:28

Not a chance I'd have let him in. In fact, I probably wouldn't have even let him in if he had children with him. Or if he was elderly.

I'm happy to admit I'm a bit of a cow like that but I can't help but be sceptical about someone knocking on requesting what is essentially unsupervised access to my home.

hibbledibble · 03/06/2015 12:40

Yanbu. I would not let someone unexpected in the house when I am alone, whether they are male or female.

Rainbunny · 03/06/2015 16:05

I would never let a stranger in and frankly I find it unbelievable that someone would think a stranger would let him into their house to use their toilet. If I broke down and needed the toilet my first instinct would be to find a cafe or garage etc... and the OP stated that she wasn't in a rural area and there was a garage down the road.

At worst I might knock on a door to ask if I could get directions to the nearest cafe/garage etc... I think it's strange that the man didn't ask the OP if there was a nearby place he could go to after she said no, he just thanked her and left. Sorry but I my instincts would have me doubting his story. Maybe I'm too suspicious but better than regretting a different outcome.

Rainbunny · 03/06/2015 16:05

I would never let a stranger in and frankly I find it unbelievable that someone would think a stranger would let him into their house to use their toilet. If I broke down and needed the toilet my first instinct would be to find a cafe or garage etc... and the OP stated that she wasn't in a rural area and there was a garage down the road.

At worst I might knock on a door to ask if I could get directions to the nearest cafe/garage etc... I think it's strange that the man didn't ask the OP if there was a nearby place he could go to after she said no, he just thanked her and left. Sorry but I my instincts would have me doubting his story. Maybe I'm too suspicious but better than regretting a different outcome.

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