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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let stranger use my toilet?

56 replies

SunriseSunrise · 03/06/2015 10:42

Not sure if I've just been sensible or massively paranoid (suspect the latter)

I'm home by myself, a guy knocked at the door and said he had broken down nearby and could he use my toilet.

I said no, sorry and he thanked me and left.

I have been torturing myself thinking I have been a proper cow!

To be fair, there is a garage in the next street as well as a shop etc. We are not in the middle of nowhere!

AIBU to have told him no? Or have I been scaremongered?

OP posts:

carabos · 03/06/2015 16:11

Nobody who has ever watched any serial killer / murder mystery/ police procedural show would have said yes to that . That is the purpose of those shows, to teach us adults about stranger danger.

expatinscotland · 03/06/2015 16:12

YANBU. MN is really weird about this, though. And it doesn't matter if you are in the middle of nowhere, either, if you don't want to let a stranger in your house, for whatever reason, then don't. I don't see what is 'paranoid' about not letting a total stranger who chaps your door into your home.

expatinscotland · 03/06/2015 16:15

'I'm happy to admit I'm a bit of a cow like that but I can't help but be sceptical about someone knocking on requesting what is essentially unsupervised access to my home.'

How is that being a cow not to let a total stranger in your house on the pretext for using the shitter?

Rainbunny · 03/06/2015 16:20

Come to think of it I did have an odd toilet encounter a few years ago. I was living in an apartment and a guy came to deliver an ikea item (whole other saga... Ikea delivery... just don't do it!) He was very friendly, rather too chatty for my liking especially as he was going on and on about how little Ikea pays for him to deliver items (In retrospect I think he was angling for a tip). He then asked to use my bathroom and I apologetically refused (bathroom was full of bras and knickers drying.) I told him that there was a common area bathroom on the ground floor that he was welcome to use (on his way out so totally convenient). He just shrugged and said "Oh that's okay, I just wondered..." I still don't know what he meant by that and as I had to escort him out (building rules on guests) I noticed he didn't stop at the bathroom. Again I'm a suspicious person but it's not exactly unheard of for people to search bathrooms for stuff to steal or prescription meds to take...

championnibbler · 03/06/2015 16:42

no way would i let a strange man into my home.
YANBU.

ByeFelicia · 03/06/2015 16:42

YANBU

viva100 · 03/06/2015 16:44

YANBU!!!!!! No way would I let a strange man in my house like that! And actually, chances are he was scouting the place, see what valuables you have in the house etc.

BeatieBo · 03/06/2015 16:45

YANBU, that is strange. It might be worth just reporting it to your local police station in case there have been similar incidents and they can be on the alert in case it is a ruse/distraction technique.

BeatieBo · 03/06/2015 16:46

Collaborate · 03/06/2015 16:47

YANBU. Could have been looking to see if anyone was out with a view to burgling.

BeatieBo · 03/06/2015 16:47

I wouldn't report it three times though!

expatinscotland · 03/06/2015 16:48

'no way would i let a strange man into my home.'

I wouldn't let a strange woman in, either.

listsandbudgets · 03/06/2015 16:50

YANBU.

It does depend on the circumstances. I once had a leaflet deliverer knock on my door who very apologetically asked to use my loo. They were extremely relieved when i said that they could - don't think I've ever seen ayone scoot up the stairs and into bathroom so fast.

Another time a man knocked at 9pm asking and got a very firm "sorry no". I was at home alone except hte children.

Trust your instincts

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 03/06/2015 17:04

You did the right thing, I would never in a million years let a stranger in my home unless they genuinely needed help NOT to use the loo.

The5DayChicken · 03/06/2015 18:16

expat - a bit of a cow because for me, it's regardless of almost all circumstances. but then I'm not particularly comfortable with people I know turning up unexpectedly either

Cacofonix · 03/06/2015 18:19

Good lord no! Absolutely not - he cannot have thought you would let him. Weird man.

expatinscotland · 03/06/2015 18:20

Still don't see where that makes someone a cow if they don't allow strangers in to use their loo. Ever. I don't let strangers in at all if I haven't invited them on some pretext.

The5DayChicken · 03/06/2015 18:25

Fine expat. I'm not a bit of a cow like that then.

MirandaGoshawk · 03/06/2015 18:38

I've let two girls use my loo before. They were stuck in a traffic jam outside the house and knocked, asking where the nearest pub was so that they could use the loo. It's not walking distance so I offered - they were very grateful!

I probably would have in the OP's circumstances too, because I'm soft but won't now!

expatinscotland · 03/06/2015 19:25

Definitely not a cow, The5Day .

Can't believe someone would have the cheek to chap some random door and ask to use the loo in a stranger's house.

londonrach · 03/06/2015 19:37

Yanbu say no and i say that as someones whos ibs has sometimes made me look longingly at houses in my need for a toilet. No way would i knock as no idea whos there. Pub or better still a mcdonalds (can go in and out and very clean toilets and no one notices) every time. Only once have i been turned down..a chinese.

londonrach · 03/06/2015 19:38

Beatie . Why not?

Arunica80 · 21/02/2025 14:04

I say no especially when I'm alone at home

Arunica80 · 21/02/2025 14:14

I always say no especially if I'm alone at home , and we have no downstairs loo

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