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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really hate chocolate that isn't bar shaped?

27 replies

AlanBstardMP · 30/03/2015 22:11

So I got this big chocolate shaped shoe thing for Mother's Day from DC. I love chocolate, and this looks lovely with it's hand decorated flowers wank on it. But I've deliberately avoided eating it in favour of more friendly chocolate bars or boxes I bought myself as I know eating the fecker is going to be a pain.

But then I ran out of chocolate bars and boxes so tonight I've attempted to eat the bloody chocolate shoe. Except you can't break it. I've tried whacking it against the worktop waking DD in the process and can't find the hammer so now I'm having to knaw at it like a rodent in an attempt to get some chocolatey goodness.

This is making me far more ragey than it probably should. Fuck you Cadbury/Kraft. Angry

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 30/03/2015 22:13

Egg shaped - acceptable
Walnut whip shaped - very nice
Shoe shaped - so wrong.

Poor you op Flowers

MrsFlannel · 30/03/2015 22:15

Can't you chomp the heel?

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 30/03/2015 22:16

The thought of chocolate footwear makes me heave.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 30/03/2015 22:17

I love a chocolate choux. A chocoltae shoe that is difficult to eat however, is just wrong!

On another note, OP I believe you are meant to have ditched the MP from your name today until after you are re-elected, which i'm sure you will be Wink Grin

NameChange30 · 30/03/2015 22:17

Lol, I agree that shoe shaped is wrong! Egg shaped is good though. Lindt bunny shape, even better Wink

TheGirlFromIpanema · 30/03/2015 22:18

Chocolate.

No idea what a chocoltae even is. Sounds like it might be nice though.

bette06 · 30/03/2015 22:19

YANBU...Just send me all the funny-shaped chocolate and I'll make sure it's disposed of appropriately Wink

MoonlightandChocolateMooncup · 30/03/2015 22:19

YABU - Add it to a small pan with some butter, melt, add milk and a goodly dash of your spirit of choice, drink - problem solved! Grin

MrsBertMacklin · 30/03/2015 22:20

Any chocolate animals where you can bite the head off. There is a Smarties chick at the moment - 110 calories, about 4 bites of chocolate and mini Smarties inside. It is good.

My annoyance is chocolate bars with deliberately uneven squares, designed to look pretty, but impossible to break off in even pieces/rows.

Original poster
AlanBstardMP · 30/03/2015 22:20

The heel is the only bit I've been able to eat so far. Sad

What makes me even more ragey is that its the kind of high heeled shoe that I havn't worn since lovely single child-free dancing days. All the more reason to hate it.

Nothing says happy mother's day better than a fuck-me shoe in chocolate form.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlanBstardMP · 30/03/2015 22:22

You are correct TheGirl, how lax of me. I shall name change immediately. Grin

OP posts:
TheHappinessTrap · 30/03/2015 22:22

I do not like fun chocolate shapes. A shoe? Ridiculous. I don't even like chocolate bunnies. I will accept a good quality egg, but I bash it up straight away.

NameChange30 · 30/03/2015 22:22

Actually YABU for only now eating your mother's day chocolate. Bash it or melt it. If you're really determined you'll find a way.
#chocolateaddict

WeAllHaveWings · 30/03/2015 22:27

I have killed many a lindt chocolate bunny or Santa with my rolling pin. Love the thick bits at the bottom.

NameChange30 · 30/03/2015 22:28

^this. Except I don't bash then, I like biting the heads off Grin
Want Lindt chocolate now! Dammit!

heycarrot · 30/03/2015 22:32

This is not a nice image to fall asleep to - you gnawing on a chocolate heel.Hmm

BumblingBoris · 30/03/2015 22:34

I had a chocolate Penis once, it was solid! Took ages months to eat. But I could hardly get it out and munch on it while MIL was visiting could I??

VoteForAlanBstard · 30/03/2015 22:34

Better TheGirl? Grin

Damn I don't have a rolling pin. So now I can't eat my chocolate and can't fufill baking duties. Wink

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 30/03/2015 22:37

Surely the chocolate cock was made for dipping in tea? That's what I'd have done with it.

My beef with these cocoa novelties is that they tend to be made from shit chocolate. Angry

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 30/03/2015 22:38

Yes, I include Lindt bunnies and santas in that. I like some Lindt bars but not their milk creatures.

BumblingBoris · 30/03/2015 22:41

The cock block was handmade dont ask Hmm so it was cadburys when cadburys tasted nice

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 30/03/2015 22:43

Then that was definitely going in tea. Perfect dipping shape and proper Cadbury's

BigChocFrenzy · 31/03/2015 01:10

Nuke it for 20 secs in the microwave to soften -
The shoe, I mean, not the penis. Seems cruel somehow to microwave a penis.

Qwebec · 31/03/2015 04:21

Put the chocolate in a bag get a pan and smack the bag with it.
Voilà: edible bits of chocolate.

I don't mind the shape of chocolate, I just hate it when it is cheap and tastes like foil.

Qwebec · 31/03/2015 04:23

If you like to take you chocolate slowly: Heat some milk, dip the chocolate let it melt a little, suck what has melted and repeat!

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