To think that some buses are a freak show on wheels?

[shadypines]

I hate hate Hate getting on buses these days.

Sat downstairs on bus with DH yest morning to have a nice day off trip into town. Not. Soon discover that sat behind us is a woman who was off her face on something and was loudly muttering aggression to the driver and then to us, who were the only other mugs on the bus. She muttered threats of violence to us so we just pretended she wasn't there (lifts eyes, purses lips and whistles as if oblivious).

Other than that it's the person having a very loud sweary conversation on their mobile, the content of which usually sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Doesn't matter who is in the vicinity of course, old ladies, children, they are all treated to the stream of extremely LOUD utterances.

Or it's the loud head banging music, why do they even wear earphones, what's the point?

I don't expect to get on a bus and be served tea and cucumber sandwiches but something resembling a civilised society would be quite nice.

Where do you live?

Is it the X1?
Always nice to hear a keen young man calling his mam a divvy cunt on his mobile.
Or a young woman on the phone to her dad, shouting for all the world to hear "make me some fuckin waffles now I'll be home in a minute. They better be fuckin crispy mind!"
Ah the delights.

Best bus conversation I overheard was a young guy berating his mum for not coming and visiting when he was in prison. She replied to say that she did the first time!

This is why I don't get buses. I attract the druggies and 'interesting characters' who always want to talk or piss on me.

Does the X1 go to Middlesbrough?

Guaranteed on every night bus journey:

some bloke playing with himself
Someone eating chicken out of a bucket and throwing bones on the floor
a girl crying and her pissed mate comforting her
someone having a sweary, shouty mobile phone conversation.
a pissed tramp asking everyone for money

I had a man sit opposite me one and growl loudly the whole journey

Then there are the ladies in the fluffy howling wolf fleeces who take up the gangway with their shopping trolley while talking loudly to their friend in similar attire ala les Dawson.

Not forgetting the abusive mums who run your feet over with their pushchairs because you deign to put a toe in the buggy area

I'm obviously getting the wrong buses.

The most interesting thing that has happened over the last few weeks is somebody being 20p short of the fare and the bus driver letting him get on anyway

Bus mutterers are the worst. I've been noticing a lot of this recently. People muttering things under their breath the whole bus journey while giving people furtive, paranoid glances. What is that all about?

They are just awful. I know we need them around, but nothing about the experience is good. Cost a fortune too. I would hate to be a driver these days. Its a shame they got shot of the bus conductor ...

That's why i love going on the bus. A healthy slice of real life.

I'm a driver. It's not pleasant. One driver was attacked with a knife recently, and another was shot in the face with a bb bullet from a catapult.

I have to get the bus because I have epilepsy. Sorry if that makes me a freak.

London or some other major city?

It's not buses specifically, it's just big cities. Full of challenging and er…….interesting people from all walks of life.

Mind you, given the amount of people who have been attacked or murdered on buses or while waiting for them I'm not surprised everyone seems furtive and paranoid and a bit twitchy.

Coming if that's your life you are welcome to it. I'll stick to my car and my nice, safe but boring suburb.

The other week I got on and there was only one seat left next to this bloke who was playing really shit music on his iPod with no earphones. I said "can you turn that off please" it's really shit I was then treated to a torrent of abused, followed by "and why didn't you fucking sit somewhere else". Er, because there were no more seats

Well said Latara, me too

It does hidden! The phrase 'divvy cunt' is quite regional isn't it (well I think it is)

The nearest bus service to my mums is like this. Every single time. Yanbu.

I loved the buses in downtown San Francisco, there was always a huge row about seats/drinking on the bus/somebody looking at somebody etc and everyone would weigh in, that was nearly 20 years ago though. All human life was there. I was in London on buses at Xmas and it was very tame in comparison.

I once attracted a foot fetishist on a bus. It took me an awfully long time to realise he wasn't just making style and beauty small talk.

oo the X1 goes past the next village!

I catch the bus everyday. Most of us are just normal folk going about our day.

I love getting the bus! Always overhear funny conversations and get a little insight into the lives of others, often it's funny/touching/interesting. Where I love the rudest people on the buses are the drivers..sorry Flumpf! It really gets my goat because I think the driver sets the tone, and if they are rude, snarly and soooo grumpy then it doesn't set a great example to the young uns.

I sit upstairs on the bus now - it's a lot quieter.

I love the bus at 07.20 - it's full of quiet people

Live, not love!