To think that some buses are a freak show on wheels?

[shadypines]

I hate hate Hate getting on buses these days.

Sat downstairs on bus with DH yest morning to have a nice day off trip into town. Not. Soon discover that sat behind us is a woman who was off her face on something and was loudly muttering aggression to the driver and then to us, who were the only other mugs on the bus. She muttered threats of violence to us so we just pretended she wasn't there (lifts eyes, purses lips and whistles as if oblivious).

Other than that it's the person having a very loud sweary conversation on their mobile, the content of which usually sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Doesn't matter who is in the vicinity of course, old ladies, children, they are all treated to the stream of extremely LOUD utterances.

Or it's the loud head banging music, why do they even wear earphones, what's the point?

I don't expect to get on a bus and be served tea and cucumber sandwiches but something resembling a civilised society would be quite nice.

Our buses aren't usually too bad.

However, I did once overhear a young woman on her mobile phone.

"I'll give you a blowie"

Followed by

"I suppose you can fuck me but I'll have to take my tampon out"

Lovely!

I sat on a full night bus next to a guy wearing a bra on his head. Cups over his ears, back strap knotted under his chin. Everybody was very English and pretended they didn't see it or it was quite normal, including bra-bloke.

I think it's generally a nighttime thing. I imagine buses are a bit more civilised in rush hour and daylight.

DS1 would remind you that the X1 is now the X12.

We usually catch it the other way as the X2. It's usually pretty civilised.

Our local bus is on a weekday, too - all pensioners travelling for free (because it's £7 return to Durham, if you have to pay!) I caught it with DS1 a couple of Saturdays ago, though and it was almost entirely populated by blokes who probably only bathe on a Sunday. It was rank. Another time we caught that one on its way to Sunderland on a Saturday, we had two women with their 4 and 7 year old girls, constantly swearing at each other with the girls arguing about the makeup and bling they'd bought. The mothers were not modelling how to settle disagreements all that well, to put it politely. DS1 sat with a catsbum face for the entire 45 minutes that we had to endure them. I'm amazed the driver didn't kick them off.

It was the X1 when I was following today...

Must be a different X1, then. I'm thinking of this one.
www.arrivabus.co.uk/globalassets/documents/north-east-services-documents/x1-x2-middlesbrough-to-newcastle/from-05-january-2015/nedux12_040115aps.pdf Even the url still has it as the X1, since it only changed in January.

That's ok what the fuck name isn't already take, sorry, my phone split the words. :) Most drivers are unnecessarily grumpy. I'm always nice though. :)

Oh mine is the durham to newcastle one!

So glad it's not just our buses which are like this ... although the very worst thing round here are the throngs of senior ladies going on and on and on about their illnesses, operations, etc

Except for one who decided she'd like to sing to us, and treated the whole bus to Jennifer Rush's "The Power of Love". She had an amazing voice too; it was really nice

Maybe you could try sniffing a pomander if the smell of the plebs is so rank

Buses do seem to attract odd people my local buses are fine but I dread getting on some buses. Many moons ago I was on the bus and an old homeless man joined me I felt uncomftable but the bus was crowded and I couldn't get up I look down and he was masturbating. The night bus is always interesting I once saw a woman vomit in her handbag and all over her hands and continue to eat her kebab.

I prefer the X21. The buses are less grey and dreary and connect with my own bus on the way into Newcastle a lot better. Plus they're faster when CLS hasn't been half dug up. What the hell are they doing there? Excavating Roman remains?

The most "interesting" people often get on at CLS. I got sat next to by a bloke who believed too much in the Lynx effect and obviously had balls so big he needed all the seat, once. I need a pointier handbag. I made do with reading a gruesome article about women's problems on my phone and having to blow my nose a lot because of the fragrance.

I remember getting the last bus home in the 80s with Dh and the aisle upstairs being awash with pee.
Christmas was interesting on our bus. An older couple got on a little bit merry pished as newts. One bus goes one route round village A, other round B. Both go to C where they change routes.They get to A, realise they wanted to be in B. Instead of staying on and getting bus back to B, they rolled off, called driver every name possible and staggered off into the night.

The most memorable grossness I've ever seen is a woman with child, eating grapes, spitting the pips out onto the floor and telling child to do the same.

Not spitting them into her hand first and putting them on the floor. Just gobbing them out, straight into the aisle.

It was at least two years ago, I can still picture it.

I had no idea there were so many incontinent people on buses until I had pregnancy nose (superhuman sense of smell). DD(3) has a good sense of smell too, and no verbal filter.
"Dat funny smell, mummy?"
I don't know, darling. Look - pigeons!
"Tweet tweet. Mummy done poo? Check botty?"
No sweetheart. Look - a fire engine!
"Yes mummy. Dat funny smell?"
Would you like a sweetie (desperate now)?
"Yes, thank you mummy. Me not done poo. Mummy not done poo. Man done poo mummy?"
Let's get off here and walk, shall we?
"Yes mummy. Smelly man"
Shutupshutupshutup DD!

ouryve what's the pink bus with the angel on it? I got that one from bishop Auckland to metro centre once and it took forever,that was a pleasant journey though in fairness.

Buses in Edinburgh are, depending on the time of year, hoaching with European students visiting to learn English (they travel in packs), American exchange students (last one I heard wondering why Scotland had so few Labrador dogs), and your standard drunk people.

I get the same one home from work every day and so see the same people a lot. v civilized usually.

A while ago a lad was really verbally rude to the driver when he was getting off (can't recall why).

Next day we get to a stop and same lad tried to get on and the bus driver wouldn't let him. The rest of the bus fell about laughing as he closed the doors in his face and drove off

DontDrinkandFacebook

I'm afraid I can report it isn't just cities - I get rural buses all the time and they're just the same! I have however learnt some... pungent local phrases from the "mutterers".

I was on a bus once and couldn't figure out why people kept moving away from me. It turns out it wasn't me, but the woman in front of me. She was so riddled with headlice that her hair was rippling like water. They were falling off of her too! (I feel itchy just thinking about it)
I moved. The bus was packed, but she had a spare seat in every direction.

I normally end up chatting to a lovely elderly person if I get the bus.

I'd forgotten what buses were like having not lived in a city for over 10 years.

However when we recently returned to our old city for a visit with the DC we got on a bus and the first thing we heard was the guy behind us on his mobile telling his mate how he'd "just got out". It became obvious from the conversation that he'd been in prison for a particularly nasty violent crime.

That, together with the other bus journeys that weekend gave the DC quite an education I can tell you!

On a bus from Birmingham city to Stetchford about twenty years ago, a guide dog threw up. It was very liquid, with large chunks of meat in it as well, and there was masses of it. As the bus went up the hill, all the sick flowed towards the back of the bus. Then the bus went downhill and it all flowed to the front. Front and back, front and back as we went up and down hills. The woman who owned the dog knew what had happened but really couldn't do anything about it. I felt very sorry for the driver. I was very glad to get off.

No idea gaggiagirl Had a look at traveline and I don't thin there is a direct bus. These are all the bus designs that Go Northeast have
www.simplygo.com/our-services/

DS1 is always wryly amused when the Pronto is late.