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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH comment about morning sickness

52 replies

OhahIlostmybra · 22/02/2015 20:58

I realise I am hormonal, given I am 19 weeks pregnant but DH just irritated me with a comment he made. He cannot even see how I could in any way shape or form have a glimmer of irritation. Which is irritating enough.

I had very bad sickness for about 9 weeks of this pregnancy and the same last time. I'm not quite sure he grasped how hard and exhausting it is.

I told him today that one of the mums I know has 3 and she never suffered a moment of sickness with any of her pregnancies. He responded with 'gee she is like superwoman'. I tried it explain that that was a little annoying to me as the sickness was totally out with my control. I said I wouldn't compare her to a superhero, more just lucky. He doesn't get my point at all - AIBU?

Or am I being hormonal!

OP posts:
Littlef00t · 22/02/2015 21:00

Gosh, way to make it sound like you were 'weak' and other mums manage to presumably will themselves not to be sick. V insensitive, agreed!

HumphreyCobbler · 22/02/2015 21:00

YANBU but you are also probably hormonal Grin

Her lack of sickness and your bad sickness was not in your or her control! She was LUCKY, not a bloody superhero.

In fact, you qualify more for superhero status as you coped with morning sickness.

prettywhiteguitar · 22/02/2015 21:02

YANBU what an intensely irritating thing to say

Cantbelievethisishappening · 22/02/2015 21:02

YANBU for feeling hormonal and grumpy
YABU as it was probably just a throw away comment
Have some Flowers to cheer you up

TheGirlWhoPlayedWithFire · 22/02/2015 21:06

That's on par with my stupid DH who told me I couldn't be sick during the night as it was called morning sickness, so I was only able to be ill in the morning. Hmm

Some people are very fortunate to not get morning sickness, then others have it in varying degrees but it's got nothing to do with will power.

misskatamari · 22/02/2015 21:07

Yanbu, as someone currently going through the hell of "morning" sickness I can understand your annoyance. I don't think people who haven't experienced it can fully grasp how awful it feels and so often make remarks which can seem upsetting, but are often just thoughtless.

museumum · 22/02/2015 21:08

Hmm. Well I sort of get what he meant. He meant actually like a superhero, as in non-human, so can fly, bullets bounce off, doesn't get morning sickness.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 22/02/2015 21:10

That would piss me off too. Like you're only suffering because you're not being strong or brave.

BuzzardBird · 22/02/2015 21:11

Vomit can always be directed in his direction if you feel the need. You are hormonal, all this will feel less important very soon.

MsVestibule · 22/02/2015 21:15

Yes, the reason you have morning sickness is because you just didn't try hard enough to not get it Hmm. I didn't get any nausea at all with either pregnancy, but I really don't think it had much to do with willpower.

I'd be pissed off with him too. He's inadvertently saying you're being a bit weak for succumbing to it.

SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:23

Yanbu I never had morning sickness but I did have (in my second pregnancy) a massively high risk of downs syndrome based on ecogenic bowel (found in 20 week scan) plus age, plus v small measurements. Sent me into sheer hell. If my dp had compared my experience to anyone else on the planet I would have sobbed.

Giving him massive benefit of doubt perhaps that is his way of sympathising?

Still totally missing the point by him though!

laughingmyarseoff · 22/02/2015 21:25

YANBU OP

SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:26

Oh and I was no superhero.... Unless superheroes lie on thier kitchen floor crying and making deals with god in return for a healthy baby.

DoJo · 22/02/2015 21:32

It sounds like the reason he feels you 'shouldn't' be cross about it is because he wasn't implying that you were weak for suffering, just that she had managed to sail through three pregnancies without feeling the physical symptoms that you are.

I wouldn't have taken it as a criticism, but I am not hormonal or dealing with recent memories of how exhausting nausea is! The fact that he hasn't apologised and explained that he wasn't criticising you must be infuriating so YANBU for wanting to throw up on him to make a point...Grin

SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:33

When I say sympathy I mean he has seen how hard it has been for you and wondered how someone else can get through unscathed?

In truth its like flu. You catch it or you don't. If you do catch it you are a hero to get through it. If you don't catch it you are just lucky.

PtolemysNeedle · 22/02/2015 21:33

I think you're being hormonal, sorry! It's ok to be hormonal and slightly irrational sometimes, but that read to me like a throwaway comment that had absolutely no reflection on your DHs thoughts on your morning sickness, so not worth getting upset over.

JCDenton · 22/02/2015 21:34

Hmm. Well I sort of get what he meant. He meant actually like a superhero, as in non-human, so can fly, bullets bounce off, doesn't get morning sickness.

Exactly, I highly doubt he was blaming OP for being sick ffs

SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:35

You are not hormonal and you are a hero. And you have a baby on the way! Flowers

AwfulBeryl · 22/02/2015 21:37

Yanbu, however he probably didn't mean it the way it came out. He was still being a knob though.

Are you feeling better now op ?

zippey · 22/02/2015 21:41

You are being unreasonable. Your DH didn't mean any harm - probably meaning that it's unbelievable - and you should apologise to him ASAP.

Roomba · 22/02/2015 21:45

YANBU! My ex used to come out with corkers like that. 'Everyone else manages'... grrrrr.

Original poster
OhahIlostmybra · 22/02/2015 21:50

Zippey why do I need to apologise?

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:52

You so do not need to apologise. You are not hormonal. Yanbu.... And you are a hero.

BuzzardBird · 22/02/2015 21:54

Zippey is probably your DH OP?

SummerHouse · 22/02/2015 21:56

Buzzard... Grin