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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you do at the weekend - feeling lonely :(

44 replies

purplepppower · 06/02/2015 19:23

My DP works abroad, he has just left for another 2 month stint.. and I am left at home feeling very lonely! I don't have many friends as we're new to the area and although we are planning we don't have any children yet.. so it's just me and the dogs all weekend!

Week days aren't too bad.. normally I'm so tired after work I just walk the dogs, eat some food and fall asleep! But I find the weekend hard.. work colleagues are busy having family time and I don't want to feel like I'm intruding.

So.. can I ask what fun things other mumsnetters do at the weekend that don't involve snuggling up with your OH on the sofa (that will just make me jealous!!) I'd like to find a weekend activity (preferably an evening one) that would get me out of the house and meeting new people.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
ScrumpyBetty · 06/02/2015 19:26

Try a salsa class? I've never tried it but have friends who have gone, they love it and say it is very social.
Or a fitness class at your local gym if there are any on at weekends?

ghostyslovesheep · 06/02/2015 19:26

I'm a lone parent - kids go to their dads Sat night to Sunday night

sometimes I meet friends for drinks or we have a 'quiet' night in (think shots at 3am)

sometimes I go to a film or a show

I go running with a gang on Sunday mornings

most times I spend Sat in my jammies watching a shite film with wine and enjoying the me time

Mammanat222 · 06/02/2015 19:26

Take a book and find a local coffee shop. Drink overpriced coffee, eat cake and people watch.

Go window shopping

Have lunch out and treat yourself to a glass of wine.

cinema

All of the above you can do all on your lonesome.

EatShitDerek · 06/02/2015 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aliceinvodkaland · 06/02/2015 19:30

get pissed and listen to music you love?...Smile

Original poster
purplepppower · 06/02/2015 19:32

Hehe watching Netflix, cleaning and talking to my dogs is what I seem to do most weekends.. at least I'm not the only one! I do like a bit of me time (I'm quite an introvert really) and going out on my own scares me to death but I'd like to have an option iyswim? Otherwise it feels like my life is on hold waiting for my DP to return.

A friend at work went around her whole housing estate putting flyers through people's letter boxes asking if they'd like to join a book club.. now they meet once a month to drink wine and gossip. I wish I had the courage to do something like that! It doesn't help that we are currently renovating the house and it's not anywhere near entertaining standards yet!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 06/02/2015 19:36

What about a yoga class? Or volunteer for a community project/charity shop?

psyandsoc · 06/02/2015 19:36

Ever thought about doing some study of some sort. I appreciate that you work but you would meet like minded people and in your spare time you're having to research and do essays. Might be worth a try.

HerRoyalNotness · 06/02/2015 19:37

I rather admire you work colleague being able to do that!

BDC (before DC) if I was alone, I'd quite happily go to a movie on my own, or to a cafe with a book and sit there for an hour reading, just to get out of the house.

If I didn't have DC now and had evenings to fill, I'd definitely join a gym or running club. I've recently started crocheting, I can happily sit on the couch with netflix on and waste hours.

I seem to only need to meet up with people socially every other week, just as well as we don't have many friends where we are. I meet another mother for park play with the DC. Could you join something doggy friendly, and meet like minded people. Or take your dogs to obedience classes, even if they don't need it, just to meet a few friends?

duckfilledfattypuss · 06/02/2015 19:39

I've heard meetup.com is good for getting to know new people in your area with similar interests, especially if you want to try new things without committing to weeks of evening classes.

TheRealMaryMillington · 06/02/2015 19:40

I have 3 kids and the idea of a weekend to please myself sounds like bliss but back in the day when I was single and carefree I definitely felt the weekends were a bit of a black hole sometimes.

So, assuming I didn't have a massive sleep debt, I would:
Go to see films (at art house cinema if there is one)
Go to the gym/run/swim/do yoga
Go and see lots of art
Join a walking group

I'd also join a class or club midweek in something I liked - WI if the local version was a new-style young and groovy one; fitness or dancing; am dram, in the hope of meeting one or two likeminded souls to cultivate friendships with

Do you have nice neighbours, colleagues or friends from old neighbourhood to go visit/invite over?

TheRealMaryMillington · 06/02/2015 19:41

Also yy to volunteering.

violetwellies · 06/02/2015 19:45

Where are you? I'm sure there are loads of people who want company too.
The modern WI sounds good if I didn't have a small DC thats definitely something I'd do.

lem73 · 06/02/2015 19:48

My dh travels a lot too including weekends but I have dcs which is still a bit lonely because you don't get adult conversation. If I didn't have them I'd get a spa membership (we have a lovely one near us). It would be a great opportunity to get into volunteering though. A friend of mine tried meet up.com and she met some nice people. Definitely worth a try.

BackforGood · 06/02/2015 19:49

Volunteering somewhere.
a sport...... coaching? training to be a referee?
St Johns ambulance?
Scout or Guide Associations? What about being a cook on camps, or a campsite warden, or service team or campsite shop volunteer, if dont want to commit to something in the week

Or join a church or other faith community?

JeanSeberg · 06/02/2015 19:50

I'm in a walking club. Where in the country do you live?

vienna1981 · 06/02/2015 20:02

I'm off work for the next three days. Variously I shall be:

Costa Coffee

Food shopping

Housework

Pub at least twice

Swimming (nakedWink )

Whether alone or with company, it's important to keep busy. Have fun.

Bodicea · 06/02/2015 20:02

When I was single and lonesome on the weekend I used to go to the gym in the morning, usually to some sort of class and a joined a fencing club that met on Saturday afternoons. Bit of shopping thrown in and a trip to my parents one night for tea and I could usually stretch out my weekend.

Joining some sort of sports club is a easier way to make friends than just going to the gym.

Chottie · 06/02/2015 20:06

Go and learn a new skill knitting, cooking, a language or a sports / walking group

Original poster
purplepppower · 06/02/2015 20:08

Wow there are loads of good ideas here.. thank you all so much, I'm taking notes! I have actually joined a dog training group.. we do agility training on Monday evenings and I love it, but they don't do weekend classes. Unfortunately I haven't struck up any friendships outside of the classes, people seem to rotate around and I'm quite shy.. by the time I have started chatting to someone they seem to have moved on! Its a good place for me though cos I can talk to/play with my dog when standing on my own (really starting to come across as a crazy dog person aren't I??)

We're in the Southwest.. actually my next door neighbour seems really nice.. she's recently single with a little one. We have spoken about her coming over for a bottle of wine when the house is finished. Its funny, when I was in college I had a massive group of friends but now I get nervous just trying to make one!!

OP posts:
snice · 06/02/2015 20:11

Find out if your local library runs any book groups you could join?

Start Park Run on a Saturday morning/join a local running club?

There are lots of ladies netball/hockey clubs which would welcome new members-a friend of mine went to a local netball thing and it was great fun

Do an evening class? Learn painting or cooking or french?

hestialou · 06/02/2015 20:14

When I was single I used to plan more daytime activities, museum, cinema, long walks, to tire me out then tv, glass of wine, posh ready meal, in the evening bliss! Also my best friend was home with children 300 miles away so would call her and have girly chat (made drinking alone acceptable imo)

PurpleCrazyHorse · 06/02/2015 20:23

I enjoyed doing ceroc, it's pretty sociable and there's often weekend workshops (and even holidays) you can go on. You can turn up on your own and the class involves partners rotating around so everyone has a go with a partner.

Friends of mine participate in hockey, netball and running clubs. They sometimes have matches (or longer runs) on weekends. Apparently it's quite addictive (I wouldn't know!!)

YY to volunteering. If you like crochet, then Woolly Hugs is a great place to make blankets for children or contribute squares for bigger ones they make for families after a bereavement. It certainly gives me plenty of small projects to do in the evenings and on weekends.

BunnyBunnyMooseMoose · 06/02/2015 20:32

Board games! Have a look on meetup or boardgamegeek to find a game club near you. Modern games are great fun and you'll make loads of friends in no time.

TinyTearsFirstLove · 06/02/2015 20:33

SPICE. If you google it, you should fond activities near you. They tend to do lots of day and night time activities at the weekend. It certainly stopped me feeling so lonely.