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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU youngest child gets the box room?

61 replies

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 16:59

We will be moving soon and as we want to stay in the same area of south London the only houses we can afford are 3 bedrooms where two of the rooms are doubles and one is much smaller. We have 2 DDs, age 8 and 5 who currently share a room but a both very keen to have their own rooms. We will probably be able to convert the loft in 5 years or so, but in the meantime will have to assign one girl a smaller room. When I was a kid my younger brother always had the small room but not sure if assigning room based on age is altogether fair so I'm looking for your opinions. Both girls have friends over to play (and sometimes to sleepover). Younger one potentially has more large toys but older one is asking for a desk for homework so both have needs which could require a bigger room. What would you do/have you done?

OP posts:

Theselittlelightsofmine · 04/02/2015 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clueing4looks · 04/02/2015 17:04

I have the smallest room in my house - all I need is a bed and a wardrobe and only use the room to sleep - the kids need space to play so they get the biggest rooms.

Original poster

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 17:05

Unfortunately the majority of the toys are shared so dividing them between two rooms is going to be hard anyway!

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 04/02/2015 17:05

Can they share the bigger room and have the smaller one for toys?

Bettybodybooboo · 04/02/2015 17:06

Agree with clueing we would take the smell room as long as you can fit a double bed in it and a wardrobe.

TidyDancer · 04/02/2015 17:06

I would consider having them share and turn the small room into a play room. Or put a fitted wardrobe for both girls in the big room so that the little room didn't have valuable space taken up.

Alternatively though, you could have the little room and give the two big rooms to the DCs?

Pumpkinpositive · 04/02/2015 17:06

I would be inclined to privilege the need for a desk to do homework over the other child's toy storage solutions.

Can you store some of the larger toys in the attic and take them down as and when she wants to play with them?

yomellamoHelly · 04/02/2015 17:06

Can you not keep the toys downstairs? The 2 dc who sleep upstairs have just books in their bedrooms (which are tiny). (Though one of our dc sleeps downstairs in the "playroom" so the space kind of lends itself iyswim.)

youbethemummylion · 04/02/2015 17:06

Our youngest has the box room through the fact they weren't born when we moved in. However if a double bed would fit in there we would have had it and given DS2 the second double once he was out the cot. As PP said we just sleep and dress in the bedroom where as the kids need their own space, and a desk etc for homework.

yomellamoHelly · 04/02/2015 17:07

High-sleeper would also solve your desk problem.

Original poster

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 17:07

DH and I have a double bed which is unlikely to fit in the single room in most of the houses we're looking at, so there is not an option to give both girls the bigger rooms.

OP posts:

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 04/02/2015 17:07

I'd write their names on 3 bits of paper each and draw one in front of them. That's a fair way of deciding
I was the youngest and felt it unfair that my brother automatically got the bigger room because he was born first.

rainyevening · 04/02/2015 17:09

I'm eldest but had a lot less crap than my brother so always had the smaller room. The sweetener was that I could have more expensive wallpaper as there was less wall to cover! Could you do something like that to re-balance things slightly (not that everything between siblings has to be even Stevens of course)

ineedabodytransplant · 04/02/2015 17:12

when I was a kid (looooong time ago ) I never knew what room I had until I got in from school. My evil mother used to change them regularly if we had upset her in any way. Like being hungry. Just to piss us off.

Mind you, we never had many toys or clothes so didn't really take much to move us.

SomewhereIBelong · 04/02/2015 17:12

Ours share a room still (DDs 12 and 14) but if one has a friend over to sleep, then the other goes in the spare - littlest - room to sleep. There is a small sofa bed, electric piano and a desk in there - so they can have a den/homework/music room - and we have a "bed" for DM or DMIL when they visit.

rainyevening · 04/02/2015 17:13

Jesus that sounds grim. Hugs to the kiddie you.

GnomeDePlume · 04/02/2015 17:13

Our youngest had the smallest room but as soon as oldest went off to uni, youngest got oldest's room and oldest got youngest's room.

rainyevening · 04/02/2015 17:13

Sorry, I meant that for ineedabodytransplant

Theselittlelightsofmine · 04/02/2015 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bonzo77 · 04/02/2015 17:16

I think we will soon be in your situation. Plan is to put youngest in the smallest room. Once they are old enough to complain we will play musical bedrooms and swap rooms around every few years or so.

Original poster

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 17:16

Thanks somewhere, that's helpful and sounds like a possible solution. I had really hoped to give them a room each as they are both awful at bedtime - playing and keeping each other up for hours, despite having always shared, and I really wanted to separate them.

OP posts:

drbonnieblossman · 04/02/2015 17:17

1930s house? Box rooms in those are pretty small.

I think I would make a big deal out of the box room - whoever goes for that room gets to have some super duper high bed and fancy storage. The one who has the bigger room doesn't, since their 'perk' is more floor space.

ineedabodytransplant · 04/02/2015 17:17

Thanks rainy, best thing I ever did in my life was leave home.

Unfortunately, it all back fired as when my girls were young they had every toy going. Whether they wanted them or not

And I got my first ever train set at the ripe old age of 21!!!

Twotinygirls · 04/02/2015 17:17

A high sleeper and lots of shelves for older dd as she may (hopefully) be tidier. And have a bigger or two wardrobe in the larger room for both their clothes.

TheFriar · 04/02/2015 17:19

I have that and my two dcs have a similar age gap.
My advise would be to rotate and to make it very clear to them.
I didn't (we were in that house and both dcs were born and it 'just' happened) and now we have dc2 unhappy that he has the box room whilst dc1 has a big double. But as they are much older, talking about swapping creates massive issues with dc1, of course .....

What I found too is that they both always pansy in the big bedroom. So even if dc1 isn't keen on playing, then dc2 will settle down on that room (more space, most of the toys there etc...). So again worth laying the rules about who can go where and when (ie us it ok for dd2 to come and play in the big bedroom even if dd1 doesn't want to play??)

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