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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU youngest child gets the box room?

61 replies

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 16:59

We will be moving soon and as we want to stay in the same area of south London the only houses we can afford are 3 bedrooms where two of the rooms are doubles and one is much smaller. We have 2 DDs, age 8 and 5 who currently share a room but a both very keen to have their own rooms. We will probably be able to convert the loft in 5 years or so, but in the meantime will have to assign one girl a smaller room. When I was a kid my younger brother always had the small room but not sure if assigning room based on age is altogether fair so I'm looking for your opinions. Both girls have friends over to play (and sometimes to sleepover). Younger one potentially has more large toys but older one is asking for a desk for homework so both have needs which could require a bigger room. What would you do/have you done?

OP posts:

SomewhereIBelong · 04/02/2015 17:20

ahhh - ours are 12 and 14 - so now are of an age that they just go to bed when they are tired - no mucking about happens.

Lunastarfish · 04/02/2015 17:20

I agree, youngest gets smallest room as they will most likely get the bigger room eventually once the oldest moved out.

The exception is of you had day 3 kids. My sister and I had the large room but my brother (the middle) got the box room as he was the only boy.

Fluffyears · 04/02/2015 17:21

I hated being given the tiny cold room simply for being the littlest. Why not let them share the biggest and turn smaller room into s store for toys and add a desk as a study. I needed the seperate room as I had a brother so we couldn't share.

SaucyJack · 04/02/2015 17:22

I'd put a bed/clothes storage in each and all toys in the big room. Whichever child is the least stroppy/most generous (that would be DD2 here) gets to call it their room and sleep in it at night, but on the understanding that the other child can go in and play with stuff in the daytime.

skylark2 · 04/02/2015 17:23

My DD is older and has the smaller room - she has a high bed with a desk underneath.

It's a much more interesting room shape-wise than her brother's, and also has a built in wardrobe and shelves which he doesn't have.

Original poster

nickEcave · 04/02/2015 17:23

Not sure about that luna, eldest wouldn't be going to uni for another 10 years which is a lifetime for the 5 year old Neither of them are very open to reason, but I might be able to persuade the 8 year old that a high sleeper , fancy desk and decorating rights on the box room are worth settling for until we can convert the loft.

OP posts:

rainyevening · 04/02/2015 17:24

Good for you, ineed. Sounds like you're looking after yourself and your DC

HazleNutt · 04/02/2015 17:25

I would say it's fair for older child to have the bigger room, if there's quite a large gap, and the younger one will get several years of use of it as well, when the oldest leaves. But with 3 years, that's not the case. I would ask how they think it would be fair to settle it - maybe they would prefer to share and have a playroom? But if not, would rotate every few years.

bigbluestars · 04/02/2015 17:27

OH and I have the smallest room. Each of the kids needs room for a computer and a desk for homework. Our youngest - DD also has masses of clothes, dance gear, a hamster etc. so she has the biggest bedroom. OH and I have enough room for a double bed, wardrobe and dresser, we don't need any more space.

Fluffyears · 04/02/2015 17:30

My brother had an amazing sunny room with enough space for 2 double beds at least. When he went off to uni he hadn't even left the end of the street before I was pushing my furniture across the landing

I'd make sure that the largest room is maybe swapped at exam time to give a good space to study. Their space should be respected at all
times.

DurpDurp · 04/02/2015 17:33

Have you actually asked them? We've moved a lot and The kids have usually arranged who gets which room themselves. In our present house DD2 Was given first choice and she choose the smallest room.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/02/2015 17:35

i need. this is why we have the biggest collection of wooden train track known to mankind, and we are rapidly approaching that way with lego.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 04/02/2015 17:39

I always picked the smaller room on the agreement my stuff went in my younger sisters room. Made mine easier to clean, and when I moved out, she turned my bedroom into her walk in wardrobe/study area! Look into cabin beds for storage without compromising floor space. I agree with the idea of sharing and getting a play room.

MariosYoshi · 04/02/2015 17:39

Youngest had the small room here but had to swap her into the bigger room and eldest into the small room before xmas in the hope it would help eldest sleep better (asd, and small room next to ours so hoped it would help her anxiety and stop her needing to come into our bed).

Youngest was heartbroken at having to have the big room, but cheered up when I told her she could choose the colour for the wall and I would buy her new furniture to go in it (needed new anyway). She's settled into it nicely now and we have a midsleeper in the box room so dd has room to play under the bed, I bought a lovely deep wardrobe from ikea with drawers inside too so she only needed that and a bookcase in (no room for anything else).

ghostspirit · 04/02/2015 17:48

our sleep arrangements are like this. i have 4 children. my 17 year old daughter bedroom is down stairs. what would be the dinning room. i have the back meduim double bedroom. and my 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter have the larger front bedroom. my 12 year old son has the box room. i had a recent change round. the 4 year old used to have the box room on her own. and the 12 year old son was in with the 7 year old son. but 12 year old needed his own space. and seems to be working. plus the younger ones have toys so takes up quite a bit of space. 12 year old is not bothered about the room hes just happy to be in his own room

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 04/02/2015 17:50

In our house the eldest has the box room which really is small. He offered to move and tbf he is much tidier and more compact with his belongings than his younger brother.

Ds1 has a high sleeper with desk and seat underneath. He seems mostly fairly happy in his cosy room. He has his moments of discord but when we've offered a lower bed and to change things about he has declined. We did float the idea of swapping rooms but he didn't go for that either.

UsuallyLurking1 · 04/02/2015 17:53

Coin flip / draw lots

Although if you then move, whoever got the big room gets smallest next time. We drew again, lucky git little brother won 3/3

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 04/02/2015 17:57

I'd decorate both neutral and let them switch every so often. Younger siblings tend to get a raw deal. Smaller rooms, hand me down toys and clothes etc.

HicDraconis · 04/02/2015 17:58

I would put the older one into a high sleeper with desk underneath in the smaller room if you separate them. Although I'm another "youngest who had the smallest room and always thought it wasn't fair" :)

Alternatively I'd put them both in the larger room and put a desk, sofa bed and toy storage in the smaller one.

CalicoBlue · 04/02/2015 17:59

When we moved my DD, the youngest, had the smallest bedroom. Her brother has a bigger room, her step brother has a very big room that the kids use as a play room when he is not here.

The deal we struck with DD was that she got a present, she was offered at TV or a lap top as a bonus for getting the smallest room. She chose a lap top.

Maybe he smallest room comes with an ipad or TV. You could find they both want it.

AppleAndBlackberry · 04/02/2015 18:01

My youngest has the smaller room so I would say YANBU, but a high sleeper with desk might sway the eldest if you wanted to do it the other way round. I don't think my 4 year old has really noticed that her sister has a bigger room yet, I think she just really likes having her own space with her things in (they were sharing til recently).

VashtaNerada · 04/02/2015 18:06

I'm the youngest and was perfectly happy with the box room. Sometimes the oldest gets privileges and sometimes the youngest does. That's just the way it works.

ILovedYouYesterday · 04/02/2015 18:07

I was going to say put the younger one in the boxroom but

I might be able to persuade the 8 year old that a high sleeper, fancy desk and decorating rights on the box room are worth settling for until we can convert the loft

In that case, I'd go with that option and hang her clothes in DD2's wardrobe (or yours) to free up more space in the boxroom. Could you fit a chest of drawers on the landing for her?

She then gets first dibs on the loft room when you get that done.

Bettybodybooboo · 04/02/2015 18:43

Ah see the room too small for a double so would have x posted with others saying the one in the small room gets first dibs on the conversion as long as it will happen

Or as in our family as one leaves home the next in line moves up the room chain!

Google space solutions and there's some great ideas out there. Small can be cool.

Bettybodybooboo · 04/02/2015 18:47

bodytransplant that's a really unsettling thing to do to a kid and sounds horribly spiteful. Sorry you had that childhood love. Am sure your children are the most nurtured ever.

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