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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be so cross?

53 replies

Whereareyouscooter · 16/01/2015 22:34

I'm so cross with my Dh I can't even speak to him. It's our youngest DS birthday tomorrow, he'll be 7. I bought a pile of presents before Xmas to split between Xmas & his birthday, one being a scooter (costing around £75). I've just been in the garage to find the hidden scooter & it has completely disappeared! The only explanation we can come up with is that Dh has accidently thrown it out when he cleared a load of Xmas rubbish from the garage last week. I've raced up to the 24hr Tesco desperately hoping I could replace it but they have nothing remotely similar in stock. I wouldn't even be so cross if Dh wasn't being so blasé about it! I make a huge effort for everyones birthdays & buy every single present we give out & he's just shrugged his shoulders over it ??

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:37

Wouldn't he have noticed how heavy the box was?

It's odd that he's not that fussed though, does that suggest he does know what's happened to it and not saying?

Any gambling/debt probs?

AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:39

How did he get rid of the Christmas rubbish last week? In the car to the tip?

GokTwo · 16/01/2015 22:41

Oh no! I would be really pissed off too! That Is a weird mistake to make though, assuming it must've been pretty large and weighty?!!

TeaAndALemonTart · 16/01/2015 22:43

I don't think he would have mistaken it for rubbish.

Gileswithachainsaw · 16/01/2015 22:46

There's no way he couldn't have noticed it was a full box or that it was new.

strange how he's not concerned too

Original poster
Whereareyouscooter · 16/01/2015 22:46

It was large & weighty but we had some huge boxes & packaging as we got a new table & dining chairs just before Christmas. He has a pick up truck & put everything in the back & then straight into a skip at work. It's the only explanation really. I've reserved another from Argos to collect tomorrow but obviously it won't be there for when my DS wakes up. He's just such an idiot & finds it hard to accept fault even when it clearly was his fault!

OP posts:
mmgirish · 16/01/2015 22:47

YANBU, that would make me very annoyed!

GillSans · 16/01/2015 22:48

Yanbu to be cross at his attitude. But I wouldn't waste my energy on that right now.

Could it be anywhere else? Under a bed, in the loft, under stairs cupboard?

Can you make a 'voucher' for a scooter so ds can pick out one online and help you order it tomorrow? You could say that you weren't sure which one he'd like, so you wanted him to pick it himself.

We've done that kind of thing before and it's been fine.

DeeCayed · 16/01/2015 22:50

Hmm I wouldn't buy the excuse tbh, sounds odd especially with the blasé attitude. I can't imagine he'd pick up a box, realise it's heavy and not look to see what it is by either looking at the box or looking inside.

Topseyt · 16/01/2015 22:50

How on earth could something like that have been mistaken for rubbish?

Is the scooter something your son specifically hoped to get for his birthday? I'd be tempted to tell him that he will be taking your son out tomorrow to get a new one.

laylaloulou · 16/01/2015 22:55

I would be absolutely fuming, and even more fuming with your DH's blase attitude.

I'd be telling him to organise getting another scooter as soon as the shops open tomorrow!

Original poster
Whereareyouscooter · 16/01/2015 22:56

I've looked everywhere but I know it was in the garage. I even remember Dh putting it in there but he's conveniently forgotten & seems to be hinting that maybe I forgot to order it in the first place! I think he's being blasé because he knows he's made a mistake but can never just admit it & it drives me nuts!

I'm going to take DS to argos first thing to collect the one I've reserved & hopefully make it fun. He does have other presents but I wanted to see his face when he saw a big scooter all wrapped up.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 16/01/2015 22:56

I see you have reserved another one. Send your husband to collect it, insisting that he takes no detours via the tip on the way back.

laylaloulou · 16/01/2015 22:58

He sounds like a gaslighting arsehole, making out that you didn't even order it!

AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 22:59

Is the skip still at his work if it was only last week?

SorchaN · 16/01/2015 23:01

I don't get it. How could he have made that kind of mistake? Did the box have a picture of the scooter on it, or was it plain cardboard? Could it have been moved to a different location? It just seems really odd that anyone would make a mistake like that.

But yes, his attitude would make me furious too.

wowfudge · 16/01/2015 23:03

Has the skip at his workplace been emptied yet? Just a thought...

rollonthesummer · 16/01/2015 23:03

Does he have £75 to just throw away?!

emms1981 · 16/01/2015 23:05

I'm upset for you because this is the kind of thing my "D"H would do.

Samcro · 16/01/2015 23:06

yanbu to be angry with him
but at the end of the day, there is nothing that can be done now.
you have another one..alls well

AgentZigzag · 16/01/2015 23:11

A big box folded down can weigh quite a bit, but it still looks like what it is, a big box folded down.

Did he fold them down on the day he was chucking them out or had he already folded them and just moving them last week?

I'm only thinking he's in the picture because of his reaction (although I've got my fingers crossed for you that it'll turn up somewhere unlikely) usually people get defensive and argumentative if they have trouble admitting they've fucked up, it it normal for him to shrug things off when he has?

Original poster
Whereareyouscooter · 16/01/2015 23:12

The skip went a few days ago so there's no chance of looking for it unfortunately. I don't get it either but I can't think what else could have happened. The box had a diagram type picture of a scooter iykwim, rather than a colour photograph type picture. I've had to come to bed as I'm too annoyed to be in the room with him. It's not even about the money, it's just his carelessness & attitude!

OP posts:
LongDistanceLove · 16/01/2015 23:13

Is this the same one that they away the box of xmas decorations?

fishinabarrell · 16/01/2015 23:14

Sounds like he's hiding something and deflecting OP.

Original poster
Whereareyouscooter · 16/01/2015 23:16

And yes Agent, he always acts like this when he knows he's fucked up even though he knows it makes things worse (sigh).

OP posts: