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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think two kids are easier than one?

78 replies

tapenade70 · 06/01/2015 14:49

Dont they entertain one another? When i have DSDs age 6 and 7 with my baby they keep him entertained it is way easier. When we are on our own (he is 9 mths) it is much harder. Was thinking another one will make things easier? I know this is contrary to the 2 under two nightmare that people talk about!

OP posts:

Bananice · 06/01/2015 15:03

Ha ha ha ha bitter laugh. DS has just turned two, DD is 3.5 months. So far I can heartily say that one child is much, much easier! I realise that I am in the thick of it and am hoping that (like everyone keeps promising me!) they will be great friends later on who entertain each other in return for the rather tough time now...

Lovehorror · 06/01/2015 15:06

I found two much easier.

ShadowSuperNova · 06/01/2015 15:06

Well, in the long term, 2 children might entertain each other and play happily with each other. I'm hoping that this will be the case with my 2 when they're older.

But in the short term, a baby plus a toddler is going to be harder work than 1 baby or 1 toddler.

Writerwannabe83 · 06/01/2015 15:07

Watching with interest as I'm in turmoil about when (and if) to have a second baby. Do I do it do they are close together and get all tge baby stuff out the way in one go and let them entertain each other? Or do I wait until DC1 starts school before I face life with a newborn again in the belief it will be easier that way?!

Smartleatherbag · 06/01/2015 15:07

Ha ha ha! Yeah, I believed that lie too.
Mine are 4 + 8, they are great pals but it is hellish!

Scoopmuckdizzy · 06/01/2015 15:09

Bananice- it does get easier, I promise! Mine are 2.5 and 14months now and pretty good at entertaining each other. They're good at squabbling too but that's par for the course. I don't know if it would have been easier with just one, DS1 was such an easy baby anyway (hence the small age gap!) but DS2 was a nightmare! They do keep each other company and its lovely to see their bond develop.

Funkytown · 06/01/2015 15:11

depends on the age gap
when you have a 6 year old and a baby oh god one is easier then two but i suppose maybe closer together they would be friends ?

Altinkum · 06/01/2015 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FayKorgasm · 06/01/2015 15:11

They keep each other entertained when the youngest is around 6 years old in my experience. Before that its usually a tag team of terror.

306235388 · 06/01/2015 15:11

Well..... When mine were under 5 I'd have agreed. Now they fight like cat and dog and no, it's not easier!

Stillnoidea · 06/01/2015 15:14

Aah - but do the 6 and 7 year olds get on when not with your son? My DD1 and DD2 both squabble incessantly, but will both play nicely with DS (separately). So it depends which 2! The DDs were ok together when younger but now it's a different story!

Sickoffrozen · 06/01/2015 15:15

After childbirth, not feeling in the land of the living for a year, not sleeping for three years, the thought of another one never crossed my mind!!! I can't understand why anyone would put themselves through it all again, unless done very quickly after the first and go through all the crap in one go. The thought of another 4 years of pre school child rearing with another at school gives me nightmares!!

BlinkAndMiss · 06/01/2015 15:16

OP I'm going to join you I'm the seemingly 'ignorance is bliss' stance that 2 are easier than 1. DC2 is due in a few months when DS will be 2. I'm just going to give him jobs to do that will make him feel included, so he'll embrace the new sibling rather than acting up and attention seeking because I ruined his toddlerhood by taking away 'his' attention. He'll love it and we'll all be in domesticated bliss throughout my maternity leave.

Meanwhile, in the real world, what was I thinking!? Tbh, I think having older children and a baby or toddler might work out easier as they are willing to help and the younger one will usually be a novelty u till they get sick of their toys being messed about with. Toddlers and babies - no way, 2 under 2 - my idea of hell.

Smartleatherbag tell me that's not true, if 4 years is still hellish then what chance have I got?

FunkyPeacock · 06/01/2015 15:22

Not in my experience no!

purplemurple1 · 06/01/2015 15:25

I'm another one clinging on to this hope, DC2 is due in the next week and DC is 16 months and just getting to the wanting to help with jobs, and dress himself stage. That will be great fun right when I'm tired, in a rush and need to get a job done or get out the house quickly!

And they will of course be the best of friends for their whole childhood and never fight or bicker, so we will be paid beack for having them so close ;-)

lynniep · 06/01/2015 15:27

Erm. You are lucky if they get on. I spend most of my time separating my two. The fighting has gone down as they've gotten older (now 7 and 5) They now only fight/whinge about 90% of the time...

Smartleatherbag · 06/01/2015 15:29

Blink, yep, it was fine for a bit, when I had a primary one and a cheery toddler. Now it's play, fight, fight, play, whinge, whine, drive to here and there... I look on my friends with only one and weep at my stupidity ;-)

Tangoandcreditcards · 06/01/2015 15:31

But when you have DSDs you have three children, not 2?

My late mother (of 5) always said to me:
1 is more work than your mother could ever tell you
2 more than doubles it
3, 4 and on make everything easier because you can do everything in bulk and you've done everything twice.

NickyEds · 06/01/2015 15:31

Please please let you be right!! I'm due DC2 when DS will be around 19 months. I'm guessing it'll be easy.....yes......easy. Other people do it and survive. Don't they?

Smartleatherbag · 06/01/2015 15:34

Yeah, survive, mainly.... ;-). Seriously it's flipping hard however you do it.

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 06/01/2015 15:40

Mine are girls 18 months apart and it has been lovely - they are now 12 and 14 and they have always got along together wonderfully and it has always seemed like less work than people seem to think it should be.

I should tell you though, I am generally a lucky person.

Lovehorror · 06/01/2015 15:43

Mine are ds 13 and dd 12,they have always got on rarely do the fight.

seastargirl · 06/01/2015 15:47

16 months between my 2. No it's not easier than one. If we only have 1 to look after for any reason it feels like a holiday! Remember that with older children you don't have to worry about them accidentally sitting on newborns had or throwing a heavy book at them. With a very small age gap you can't leave them alone together for a minute as the oldest is still really a baby.

If you go ahead with a small age gap, my advice would be get a really good baby carrier as it's the only way I survived playgroups etc.

We such a small age gap as I was told I'd never conceive naturally and 2nd was born 6 weeks early. Very happily they were wrong and she is ok despite a shaky start, but its been bloody hard work!

I am convinced there will be 5 minutes when we're on holiday in 6 years time and they will play happily together while I sip a cocktail and decide it's all been worth it. That 5 minutes is thought about frequently!

Original poster

tapenade70 · 06/01/2015 15:47

interesting...tango I think I agree with your mum...

the DSDs play beautifully with my baby and adore him. They do also keep each other amused but when it's just them they also fight like cat and dog too....but I reckon even with cat and dog arguments over remote controls and the like, the pluses make up for the negatives...

I guess in some ways it is the perfect balance in that the DSDs keep bubba amused some of the time and I also have a quieter life with just 1....just don't like the thought of the pre school years playing on his todd. I am old so if I have another would have to be soon. am also paranoid about second one having medical conditions etc.

I know when DS is screaming I would find it v hard to manage that and a newborn!

oh and I also have a completely irrational fear of something happening to DS and my life being over which also makes me want to have another one. which is kind of weird.

OP posts:

Original poster

tapenade70 · 06/01/2015 15:49

ha sea star I hope you get your cocktail 5 mins soon...

OP posts:

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