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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know AIBU and should be grateful...

51 replies

vvviola · 01/01/2015 08:56

... but...

MIL gave us cinema vouchers for Christmas. Lovely. We love going to the cinema.

However. The vouchers are for her local cinema. We are staying with/near her for 10 days. The cinema is tiny and only shows 1 film in the day & one at night.

We have no childcare here. MIL will not babysit at night.

She declared that tomorrow is the only day she is willing to have the DC by herself (which is particularly sad in other ways as we are emigrating in just over a week) and that as she won't do night times, we are to go to the midday film.

Which we aren't particularly fussed about seeing.

But of course to not go is to turn down her Christmas present.

So. I know IABabitU, as she didn't have to get us anything and no grandparent is obliged to babysit at all.

But AIBU to feel a little bit controlled and irritated by: I'm giving you something that you could potentially enjoy but with all sorts of conditions so that in fact you will end up doing what I want you to do?

Or have I just been down her being controlled by her long enough and I'm seeing controlling behaviour in absolutely everything now?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 01/01/2015 08:58

Take the babysitting and go and do something else. She doesn't have to know you didn't go.

IAmAPaleontologist · 01/01/2015 09:00

Depends on background. If she had history then it isn't a nice of thoughtless thing but is rather unpleasant. However it could also just be a nice thought badly planned. like mil who irritates me in many ways and has given my dd knitting needles and wool for Christmas when i can't knit. She says she will teach her but she lives an hour and a half away Hmm .

Original poster
vvviola · 01/01/2015 09:01

Oh no, she called earlier to let us know which film we will be going to see. She will expect details.

And it seems kind of underhand. I'm just not an underhand person.

OP posts:
ZacharyQuack · 01/01/2015 09:05

Look the film up on IMDB and get the plot synopsis. Go to the cinema and give the voucher to someone who does want to see the film. Go and have a nice boozy lunch and embellish the synopsis with a few more details (the shark attack! He was really a she! He was dead all along and didn't know it!). Try to fake sobriety when you go back and thank her for letting you have such a lovely time.

LindyHemming · 01/01/2015 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt · 01/01/2015 09:06

Agree with pp, take the babysitting and go for lunch. Make up some rubbish about the film. MIL will be none the wiser. Take the control back!

JudgeJudyKicksAss · 01/01/2015 09:08

Why not be honest and say thank you but you think the vouchers would be wasted on you , can she use them herself? and hand them back but enjoy an afternoon together while she looks after the children.

Yes she is being controlling but probably thought it would be a nice "treat" for you.

Good luck with your impending move BTW.

Storytown · 01/01/2015 09:16

I'd just go, especially as you are emigrating. She won't be controlling you for long and you don't want to leave under any sort of cloud.

Plus, I have often found the films I thought I least wanted to see turned out to be some of my favourites.

chanie44 · 01/01/2015 09:19

I agree with giving the tickets away, going for lunch and researching the plot online.

Mouthfulofquiz · 01/01/2015 09:19

I was going to say the same as above - take the babysitting and go out for a lunch instead. Then Google the film and just say how good it was blah blah blah.

Xmas2014Santa2014 · 01/01/2015 09:29

Yes go for a lovely lunch out Grin

editthis · 01/01/2015 09:51

Hmm, I would probably go and take it in the manner of another slightly unsatisfactory present e.g. A box of chocolates I didn't particularly like; i.e. receive it gracefully. Hopefully it was kindly meant. As someone said, you might end up really enjoying the film even though you wouldn't have chosen to go - and at any rate you've got an afternoon off. Combine with a cheeky visit to the pub while the trailers are rolling?

DaisyFlowerChain · 01/01/2015 09:54

Go another night or day and take the DC with you?

Bumpinthenight · 01/01/2015 09:58

I concur with the 'sacking the film off brigade'!

What film is it? Perhaps we can help out with the synopsis! Don't forget you will need to leave a bit earlier so you have' time to get popcorn'!

woollyjumpers · 01/01/2015 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waithorse · 01/01/2015 10:00

I agree with everyone else.

woollyjumpers · 01/01/2015 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzpig · 01/01/2015 10:02

What's the film?

NoLongerJustAShopGirl · 01/01/2015 10:04

google film, go past cinema and hand ticket to random strangers (makes you feel better about it). Go enjoy a nice lunch.

AlpacaStockingOnChristmasEve · 01/01/2015 10:06

Oh no! You went along and it was sold out/having a power cut/ hit by a meteor... what a shame... Wink

BeautyQueenFromMars · 01/01/2015 10:07

Am I the only one who wants to know which film it is?!

nachohousekeeper · 01/01/2015 10:08

Tell us what the film is, one of us might have seen it and can give you a run down.

Go out to lunch instead.

AlpacaStockingOnChristmasEve · 01/01/2015 10:08

Or, you could go and have a nice nap during the film... I've had some lovely snoozes in cinemas

BeautyQueenFromMars · 01/01/2015 10:09

Wow, I was interrupted typing that and it's now clear that I'm most definitely not the only one! Blush

LaurieFairyCake · 01/01/2015 10:13

It doesn't matter, you'll be gone in a week Smile

And she can go back to pretending what a fab grandmother she is