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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know AIBU and should be grateful...

51 replies

vvviola · 01/01/2015 08:56

... but...

MIL gave us cinema vouchers for Christmas. Lovely. We love going to the cinema.

However. The vouchers are for her local cinema. We are staying with/near her for 10 days. The cinema is tiny and only shows 1 film in the day & one at night.

We have no childcare here. MIL will not babysit at night.

She declared that tomorrow is the only day she is willing to have the DC by herself (which is particularly sad in other ways as we are emigrating in just over a week) and that as she won't do night times, we are to go to the midday film.

Which we aren't particularly fussed about seeing.

But of course to not go is to turn down her Christmas present.

So. I know IABabitU, as she didn't have to get us anything and no grandparent is obliged to babysit at all.

But AIBU to feel a little bit controlled and irritated by: I'm giving you something that you could potentially enjoy but with all sorts of conditions so that in fact you will end up doing what I want you to do?

Or have I just been down her being controlled by her long enough and I'm seeing controlling behaviour in absolutely everything now?

OP posts:
ihatethecold · 01/01/2015 10:16

Op.
I'm sure I've been reading your posts about this Mil over Xmas?
Thank god your leaving soon if that's the case.

diddl · 01/01/2015 10:17

Can you go for a meal before/after?

HellKitty · 01/01/2015 10:20

Yep. IMDb the plot, give the ticket to the most deserving people queuing and go for a drink and meal. If it's the Hobbit then you could get three courses Wink

dragdownthemoon · 01/01/2015 10:26

Go for a drink first, get to cinema for about 15-20mins after film start time, with any luck it will be sold out, you can go for lunch and tell MIL the truth that you couldn't get tickets but didn't want to waste her generous babysitting.

If you can get tickets, stay for the first hour of the film, enough to have something to talk about, and go for a drink / meal after. Look up the rest of the film online. That way you need only lie by omission, you can talk about the cinema itself, a bit about the film, and in case she has her spies out, you were actually there... You'll even have a ticket you can show her, she sounds like the type to ask! X

WeAreEternal · 01/01/2015 10:28

I would be googling for the synopsis and going to do something else.
You can always give them to someone else or sell the tickets.

CSIGingerbread · 01/01/2015 10:28

Stella us the films- one of us is bound to have seen it can give you the plot run and in-jokes.

CSIGingerbread · 01/01/2015 10:29

*you should tell us the film -

Silly mobile keyboard :(

Original poster
vvviola · 01/01/2015 10:59

Grin I'm loving the idea of skipping the film and finding ways to fool her. I still won't do it, but it's giving me a good chuckle.

The film is Exodus. Which is also making me chuckle a bit - MIL is very religious, but of a slightly obscure church (independent churches are common here) and DH is vehemently anti organised religion. I've been teasing him all evening suggesting an ulterior motive!

ihatethecold yes you may have been reading my posts over Christmas. I'm a bit isolated here so have been venting a bit Grin

(4 days and counting til we go back home to pack up)

OP posts:
MinceSpy · 01/01/2015 11:07

I remember your Christmas post. MIL is very controlling and must be really furious that you are immigrating back your home country and taking her son away. You've only got a couple of days to go so suck it up and go to the cinema, do something else instead or don't go.

ZacharyQuack · 01/01/2015 11:10

Exodus? Someone's bound to have read the book! Wink

emotionsecho · 01/01/2015 11:22

I saw the trailer for that film and wanted to see it! Just think of the gift as time with your dh and let the rest wash over you.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 01/01/2015 11:27

Just go, sit and try to enjoy the film with DH. If you really can't stand it, then leave & go for lunch.

Just keep repeating to yourself 'Emigrating in a week' Xmas Grin

YouTheCat · 01/01/2015 11:28

Don't blame you for not wanting to see the film. It looks utterly awful.

Do something else. Tell her the Egyptians catch them all in the end. Grin

MiddleAgedandConfused · 01/01/2015 11:38

Bit of an aside here, but last night we played crap present Bingo where everyone bought their least wanted Xmas pressy and we played Bingo for them. We ended up with some great stuff - and got rid of our crap!

diddl · 01/01/2015 12:08

I'd be tempted not to go just to spite her tbh!

Not only is she dictating when & where, but what as well!

Send your husband with her as a way of spending more time with him before he leaves!

CalleighDoodle · 01/01/2015 15:11

Goto the cinema at midday. Het popcorn and coke, sit onthe back row and snog your husband for two hours like you are teenagers.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2015 15:21

Exodus...? And you are emigrating...?

quietbatperson · 01/01/2015 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
vvviola · 01/01/2015 19:31

Thanks everyone. Like my previous thread, just getting it out and hearing everyone's possible solutions has made me a lot more mellow about the whole thing. A bit like sitting down with a friend and a big mug of tea Grin

ZacharyQuack, SoupDragon and Youthecat thanks for the chuckles Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
vvviola · 02/01/2015 09:04

And an update:

MIL said she would come over at 11:30 to where we are staying. Movie started at 12. We dashed out the door just in time, but as we were leaving she said "so we'll go for a walk later and meet you outside the cinema" Shock. Yep. She was babysitting to let us go to the cinema. And. No. More.

The cinema was lovely. A little family run place, where they mainly do art house stuff with the occasional big film. They have big sofas to share instead of seats, and my bag of maltesers was tipped into a little china bowl for me to hold. I also got to have a glass of wine.

The movie was mediocre at best. I had a little nap part way through Blush

But do you know what I've gone and done now: DH is out with his brother tomorrow and I'm taking the DC to see Paddington.... and I just went and invited MIL to come. And she bloody said yes!! What the hell was I thinking??

OP posts:
HandAndShrimp · 02/01/2015 09:49

Bahahaha soupdragon!

ChoosandChipsandSealingWax · 02/01/2015 11:44

Glad you had a lovely time in the end and good luck with emigrating!

emotionsecho · 02/01/2015 14:45

You are truly a glutton for punishment OPGrin.

Original poster
vvviola · 02/01/2015 18:15

I know emotionsecho. I know.

In my defence it was one of those "ask to be polite" moments and then she went and said yes!

On the positive side, it gets me lots of brownie points with DH Grin

OP posts:
Baliali31 · 02/01/2015 20:39

Sounds a lot like my MIL, she kindly gave us a voucher for a local restaurant as a gift, envelope read: And GRANNY will babysit ds...Ignored.