This gives me the rage...

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

.. and I am already feeling cross today. One of DH's many cousins always, always send a Christmas card to us, writing in the card "To Avon's Husband, Avon & Kids" and then signs it from herself and her own children, using their names. This gives me that absolute stabby rage!! & Family makes me twitch, but & Kids sends me over the edge. They have frigging names, cousin lady, use them! First time it happened I thought she may have forgotten their names in the midst of all the cousins although she could always have asked someone, so I helpfully wrote all our names out in our card to her. But no, each year, without fail it's to "Avon's husband, Avon & Kids". Has become something of a joke now, however, it's not one I'm able to see the funny side of, hence my venting here. So, AIBU to feel all hot and bothered about this. only slightly lighthearted

God almighty, the christmas angst people go through. I'm not sympathetic, it's just a Christmas card.

How many kids do you have?

Do they have long names / complicated spelling?

Yep it is lazy but if she is sending out a vast amount of cards it might be a timer saver?

You need serious help if this is causing you so much anger. She's sent you a card, be grateful at the thought and get over it.

Humph, Bowlersarm, how can you not be sympathetic??

Mammanat222 We have 2 DC, a boy and a girl. One 1 syllable name, one 2 syllable name, not unusual names. I am jumping on your "Yep it is lazy" as you being in agreement with my AIBU

YAB ridiculous. So what someone writes on a card that's put in the bin after Christmas is the only thing you have to worry about? Honestly, get over it, it's an insignificance.

Why does she write who it's to inside the card? Very odd. If it's written on the envelope that's enough.

I always put "and family" on the envelope.

Ha, sadly not the only thing I have to worry about - but it's a more manageable worry, so therefore will command much of my energy!! Why not just do away with the whole "To" aspect and sign your name?

I hate & family! They're people too, if you're going to call them '& family' you may aswell address us all as 'the family' why pick the kids out?!
I always write the whole family's name in people's cards, I really think it is very rude

Ooh, x-post Sunna - that's a very good point. A friend of mine never writes "To" anyone, just signs it and that doesn't set me off at all.

Praise be MinnieM1, that is exactly it. Thank you!

YANBU since you have included all the names in your card to her. DH has a huge family and we have no idea of the names of her children so every year when I write my "Dear Auntie X and family" card she writes one back "from Auntie X and family". I'm destined never to know!

I usually write full names but I have to admit that I did write 'and family' this year to one of DH's cousins, because neither of us could remember the names of all her children. It's either that or ignore them totally.

You'd hate my cards then. I've signed all my Christmas cards "Rainicorn, DH and Boys" as I can't be arsed to write all three names out.

No, Raincorn, I wouldn't, hate your card, as that would be what you'd chosen to do. I could sign from Avon, DH and family if I so chose, but I don't. That's my gripe.

I've started writing "To X and Y and all your family" to some people, largely because they now have grown up children who have left home, live with (and break up from assorted partners) and get married themselves. Some of my friends are now grandparents and have complicated blended grand families. Rather than miss somebody out, I hope to give the impression that I am wishing their whole family, whatever it's current configuration, a Happy Christmas.

I always put and family as far too lazy to write all their names

I do agree with you though that she should do like for like and if she's not using your childrens names she shouldnt use hers.

By the time I write Christmas cards 80 - 100, I'm down to writing bowler, bowlersdh + boys on pretty much all of them, it gets slovenly

Ha, I think I can trump you Avon. We get job lot corporate cards from one family member. This Xmas the card isn't even a Christmas card, just a change of address one- hilarious!

Fwiw, my own mother puts Mrs DHs name on any mail to me, her own dd. Talk about being written out of history- but I'm not stabby about that- quite relieved actually!!

Do you and the kids meet up with her? If not, then I can't see the problem. It's hard to remember kid's names - I write them in my address book so that I can remember.

I do agree with you though that she should do like for like and if she's not using your childrens names she shouldnt use hers

Yes, that's it ^. And that's why it gives me the rage. I don't particularly like & Family, and, as you may^ have guessed, I can't stand & Kids, but can accept them if it's done like for like. But don't miss off my beautiful DC and write the names of your own down.
Disclaimer: I am normally quite laid back about some things

Tsk, error with the italics there.

YABU and absolutely ridiculous. If she's writing a load of cards she probably doesn't have the time to list everyone's kids. And she probably glances at the names in the card you send but doesn't actually memorise them. I think you need to get over it and realise that your children aren't really to the forefront of other people's minds when they're busy and trying to get their Christmas cards written.

I always write " to you and her, from me and them" on my mums cards, "her" being the dog. Running joke now. Not important enough to get worked up over imo

Next time write the wrong names on her card. Mwha ha aha a

Oh OP you'd so hate me.I use moonpig and everyone gets the same message: happy Xmas and fuck off
and no names included, not even mine. How do they know this is from me how many lazy feckers do they know I put my names on the biscuits/deer/snowmen/other random Xmas tat on the front.
They sent you a card. A real one. Not an e-card. It isn't anything to rage over....