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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask husband to change headlight bulb?!

36 replies

Blusterfish · 14/12/2014 09:38

Backstory - DH now has my "old" car and I have a newer one. About 3 weeks ago I saw him pull up at home with a headlight out. I pointed it out to him and he said he would get it sorted that week. He didn't. I asked him why not he said he hadn't had chance to get a new bulb. I've now bought him a new bulb. He still hasn't replaced it. I've just asked him would he replace it today and he literally screamed at me "alright! Alright! I've said I will so I will".

AIBU to ask him to change the bulb? It is illegal after all.

Is he BU for shouting?!

I realise this is massively dull and I'm sure I'm going to be told to worry about real issues but it's really shocked me that he's got so angry and loud over that...

OP posts:
ohtheholidays · 14/12/2014 09:44

YANBU he is! If he got pulled over by the Police and got in trouble he'd be moaning then.The police pull over and charge far more people this time of year than any other!

Is it usual for him to respond in that way?If not then I'd have a word with him when he's out of his strop.If it is usual then I'd be having a serious talk with him.

Storytown · 14/12/2014 09:48

Does he know how to do it? Is he putting it off because he's not confident enough to do it himself and overreacting because he doesn't want to admit it?

That's what I'd do

gamerchick · 14/12/2014 09:51

Yes does he know how to do it?

Eastpoint · 14/12/2014 09:53

Halfords will do it free if you buy the bulb there.

southeastastra · 14/12/2014 09:53

halfords will replace it for a few quid easier than diy

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/12/2014 09:53

Cant you just do it?

kim147 · 14/12/2014 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PedlarsSpanner · 14/12/2014 09:55

Yes inclined to think he's not totally confident.

Why don't you change it, it's easier with smaller hands I reckon.

Trazzletoes · 14/12/2014 09:57

I'd be annoyed that he wasn't just getting on with it.

However there is also nothing stopping you from doing it if it bothers you.
Headlights can be tricky beggars. I've had to take them to a garage to be changed before because it was nigh on impossible to do it myself.

Redglitter · 14/12/2014 09:59

I'd let him get on with it. You've told him you've also bought the bulb if he Cba and is happy to drive illegally good luck to him. Hope he's got money aside to pay the fine that'll be coming his way when he's stopped

3littlefrogs · 14/12/2014 09:59

Changing a headlight bulb is not the easy thing it used to be.

I have a pretty ordinary car, but changing a bulb is a huge palaver involving removing the whole unit and dismantling it. Even Halfords couldn't do it, so my local mechanic does it for me. It is ridiculous, but better that than getting a huge fine.

kim147 · 14/12/2014 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lemisscared · 14/12/2014 10:05

Well if its your car he is using then don't let him use it until the bulb is changed. Its quite easy to change a bulb having seen dp do it once i now can do it but wouldn't know how without being shown or rtfm.

If its hiscar its up to him but why should you get a fine for hislazinesd.

lemisscared · 14/12/2014 10:08

You are probably right kim. The alternator went on our car once. Resulting in all the lights gradually going off. We were pulled by the police as we were looking for a safe place to park. They were fine and understanding. Waited with us til the very very nice man came.

Fairenuff · 14/12/2014 10:08

YABU. If he gets stopped he will firstly be breathalysed and if that is ok he will just have the fine to pay. Everyone knows that police are out in force this time of year.

Treat him as an adult - his choice, his consequence.

kim147 · 14/12/2014 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Redglitter · 14/12/2014 10:13

You can get fined because it's an offence. its more likely though they'd give you the benefit of the doubt and give you something like 48 hours to get it fixed.

Theoretician · 14/12/2014 10:13

Headlight bulbs can be horrible to change. I dreaded doing it on my last car. Involved kneeling in the mud in a freezing car park with an arm inserted through a hole in the front wheel arch.

I'm not surprised he was annoyed. You are not his boss. People don't like being nagged. It's especially annoying to have your peace of mind disturbed by having your attention repeatedly focused on something unpleasant.

Either change it yourself, or keep quiet.

Fairenuff · 14/12/2014 10:16

^he literally screamed at me "alright! Alright! I've said I will so I will"

OP when he is calm ask him if this is how he will respond to the police when they pull him over. If not, why does he think it's acceptable to talk to you like that.

Original poster
Blusterfish · 14/12/2014 10:17

Thanks for your responses. Perhaps I was being bossy and demanding.

Re - knowing how to do it. Yes he does as he's changed it on previous occasions. I am unable to change it easily - one of those tricky cars. I've usually pay for halfords to change mine. I mentioned about that service but he said he was happy to do it.

I think I need to learn to treat him as an adult then like you say.

Thanks again for helping me see the other side.

OP posts:
Follyfoot · 14/12/2014 10:17

Halfords do it for £5. Surely the important issue isn't whether or not he would be fined, its that without a headlight it isnt safe to be on the road. He wont be able to see properly at night/in reduced visibility, and other road uses wont see him clearly.

CatCushion · 14/12/2014 10:18

Yes, can echo that it is a horrible job. Have to go through the wheel arch to change ours too (DH couldn't figure out how to do it so took his to Halfords and was really glad he did.)

Original poster
Blusterfish · 14/12/2014 10:21

Yep re vision. I pointed not only was it illegal but he wouldn't be able to see properly - pedestrians and seeing as though it's that time of year when most driving is done int the dark I didn't want him to end up in a bad situation.

We've not been married long. I'm 6 months pregnant. I'm probably just losing the ability to be rational!!

OP posts:
CatCushion · 14/12/2014 10:21

X post. He could still take the car to Halfords. Or you could...I think I'd apologise for being bossy, say I'm concerned for his safety and other innocent road users offer to take it to Halfords myself.

sanfairyanne · 14/12/2014 10:22

its a tenner not a fiver at halfords
still money worth paying imo but both me and dh are crap at that kind of thing Smile

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