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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset by maternity support worker on postnatal ward

31 replies

Soleurmange · 11/12/2014 14:06

Or am I hormonal
I've lost 4 pints of blood during c section

Breast feeding - I'm week, still in a lot of pain- is a struggle but Shes feeding well.

Msw said she might have tongue tie. My nipples are sore so I panic. Then checks her mouth and says she doesnt. Then says she has jaundice and to put her by window. Says it's because 'she hasn't been fed as well as she might have been'.

Aibu to be upset or is this a fair point?

OP posts:

VitalStollenFix · 11/12/2014 14:12

Ask her to explain what she meant by it. Perhaps she worded it clumsily.

SoonToBeSix · 11/12/2014 14:14

Regular feeding does help to flush out jaundice. She probably should have worded it better.

GahBuggerit · 11/12/2014 14:19

yabu but its allowed. factually shes probably right, my ds wasnt a good feeder so had to be put near the window for a few days until things improved. try not to read too much into it and get someone to bring you some lansinoh for your nips!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 11/12/2014 14:20

DD had jaundice from a massive bruise on her head when born, and we put her by the patio doors as the sun helps, as does plenty of feeding to help the body rid itself of the by-products (according to my MW at the time). It worked and she wasn't admitted for further treatment.

Ask to see a BFing specialist to check your latch and get some Lansinoh for your nipples (you can get it in the supermarket), it's wonderful stuff and saved me from giving up BFing. I found the pain of sore nipples meant I put off feeding DD when I really needed to be feeding her on demand all the time. I started not going longer than 3-4hrs day and night to feed DD (she was very sleepy in the first couple of weeks and would sleep longer than that) and I would set an alarm to get up in the night!! DD fed well when she fed, but simply wasn't feeding regularly enough. TBH the midwives at the hospital gave me no advice on this and it wasn't until she lost 10% of her body weight that I got some actual information.

Get the Lansinoh and up the regularity of your feeding and see if things improve. And congratulations

PurpleCrazyHorse · 11/12/2014 14:23

Lansinoh is usually found near the nappy cream section of a large supermarket (our Sainsburys sells it). Send DP/DH/friend to get some ASAP. It's expensive (I think about £5-£8 for a tube) but it'll last ages and you can use it on cracked heels too once you've finished BFing

Original poster

Soleurmange · 11/12/2014 14:25

Thanks all xx

OP posts:

shellbyville · 11/12/2014 14:26

It can be harder to feel comfortable bf after a section. Maybe experiment with positions if you can, google some ideas for side lying bf and something called "biological nurturing" positions for after a section. This should help make latch much more comfy and efficient for you both. Well done so far, and congratulations

outofcontrol2014 · 11/12/2014 14:27

You know what? In your situation you have a FREE PASS to be unreasonable! All those hormones swashing around your body, and all that concern for the new little one!

The support worker should have been aware of this and should possibly have been a bit more sensitive/filtered about what she said. These comments really, really bite for women. My Mum still goes on about how a support worker said (wrongly) that she was rejecting me as a teeny tiny - and still gets upset about it. I'm 36!!

museumum · 11/12/2014 14:28

most babies have a touch of jaundice at first and yes, feeding helps it, but most bf babies don't feed brilliantly at first and in fact they don't take the quantities of milk that ff babies take until your milk comes in (in the meantime they're getting the fabulous stuff that is colostrum which is really really good for their immune systems).

Don't be upset, it's not about your feeding ability, feeding isn't a test and i strongly believe it's mostly down to the baby not the mother anyway... your little one will get better and better at it as time goes on and your milk comes in and as her mouth grows.

If you have any worries yourself about her feeding then ask to speak to a breast feeding specialist, most hospitals have one or two.

SoonToBeSix · 11/12/2014 14:30

Lansinoh can be prescribed op.

ShadowKat · 11/12/2014 14:39

It's a very badly worded point.

DS2 developed jaundice very soon after he was born and had to go on a sunbed for a few days. Lots of feeding does help flush jaundice out, but the jaundice made him too sleepy to feed properly, which in turn made it harder for his body to get rid of the jaundice. So it was a bit of a vicious circle.

So, while the baby not feeding enough can make the jaundice worse, the poor feeding can be caused by the jaundice itself rather than anything you've done. And in our case, he was born with a big bruise on his head which most likely caused the jaundice.

Notmuchhaschanged · 11/12/2014 14:55

Also it takes longer to clear in breastfed babies doesn't it?

Whatsthewhatsthebody · 11/12/2014 15:00

You are allowed to be touchy love and this support worker should really be showing far more bloody sense and awareness.

Jees.

Hope things get better for you. Hugs.

Lucyandpoppy · 11/12/2014 15:26

((((hugs)))

If you aren't already on an iron supplement then spatone is a fab one for post natal ladies (obviously double check with dr first) you sound like you are doing a fab job :)

NormaStits · 11/12/2014 15:49

I'm a week post partum and they made me feel like shit in hospital for not feeding well but didn't tell me that I'd lost 2 litres of blood, no transfusion, and was severely anaemic. Once I got home the midwife told me that I was lucky to be making milk at all given how my birth had gone.

Overall I found the communication in hospital shit. They don't tell you enough and just expect expect to get up and deal with this new baby as if a) you know what you're doing and b) you haven't just been ripped in two getting it out.

Don't take it to heart, you are doing brilliantly after a serious operation. Many babies have jaundice, it usually clears up quickl.

Original poster

Soleurmange · 11/12/2014 20:30

Norma stits love your user name, I feel the same and sorry to hear about your experience- can't believe they didn't tell you, just appalling.
Thanks for all the support- I'm touched. Decided the msw is a bit of a twat in general after she came back in, directed a whole spiel about baby lead feeding with on foot up on my bed while looking at herself in the mirror

OP posts:

thursday · 11/12/2014 20:34

God, I'm getting knots in my stomach reading this. I had crash section, massive blood loss, jaundiced baby, really struggled to feed etc and it's just a horrible time. I wanted desperately to get a good breastfeeding start and you are so sensitive. Hope you feel better soon

DoJo · 11/12/2014 20:39

My son was jaundiced and I had to supplement his intake with formula for a few days when he was in hospital to help flush his system out and to keep him hydrated as he was on the light bed for a few hours - it was a faff and a performance but he was better within a couple of days and he took to breastfeeding very well once he was a bit less dopey and disinterested in food!

cherrytree63 · 11/12/2014 21:01

I'm a MSW....we aren't qualified to diagnose tongue tie or jaundice (although we can recognise the conditions), she should have reported her/your concerns to your midwife. At the hospital that I work in it's conditional of our posts to train as breast feeding peer supporters.

Hope things improve for you!

FabULouse · 11/12/2014 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

donniemurdo · 11/12/2014 21:19

I lost a lot of blood after DS3 (ended up with a transfusion) and he wasn't feeding so well so ended up with some formula in hospital. I found out after that severe blood loss does make breastfeeding more difficult. The midwife said that it was because my body was having difficulty making milk and replenishing my own blood supply. Made me feel much better about it and we kept on breastfeeding for months after that.

Congratulations on your DD

maddening · 11/12/2014 21:24

Can you get more comfortable - would a feeding cushion on your side and doing the rugby hold help - being comfortable - by a window for daylight - with entertainment and refreshments in easy reach might help you relax and let her do her thing- lots of skin to skin. Drink loads of water and have lots of porridge.

maddening · 11/12/2014 21:27

Ps being in pain is said to increase adrenalin which is said to inhibit breast feeding - so if you are uncomfortable that won't help - do get comfortable

maddening · 11/12/2014 21:39

And yay to Lansinoh - fucking amazing stuff!

Littlegreyauditor · 11/12/2014 22:01

I was just about to suggest the rugby/football hold to you. It was the only thing which worked for me and DS at the start (similar to you, CS, blood loss, nipples in shreds). It took 6 weeks for me (and him) to find our feet with breastfeeding, and involved lots of different holds and a huge amount of Lansinoh.

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