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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to have hated 2014?

66 replies

Crumbelina · 06/12/2014 23:12

This year has been absolutely awful!

I've been trying to conceive my first child for over 18 months and have had 12 months of negative pregnancy tests this year. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, I missed out on a job I really wanted and (icing on the cake), I've just developed an inflammation of the optic nerve, which is quite often the first sign of Multiple Sclerosis. I'm not superstitious but I'm wondering what else is around the corner.

Sorry, not looking for sympathy, just wondered if anyone else can’t wait to see the back of this year? I'm going to be quaffing far too many glasses of fizz on New Year’s Eve and hoping that things turn around in 2015 …

Moan, moan, poor me etc.

OP posts:
DoubleValiumLattePlease · 06/12/2014 23:29

I just typed a long post wishing you well and it's disappeared into the ether - and I don't have enough life left to do it again! I really hope things improve for you Flowers

misskangaandroo2014 · 06/12/2014 23:29

Yes. It has sucked.
I even wrote a 12 days of christmas style poem about it (in September). I'm sorry you've been through this.
I've lost the poem though. I may have to do it again as a f**k you 2014. With wider facts, my gran has been diagnosed with dementia. I've been made redundant.
The poem was stuff about my two miscarriages this year: 5 ultrasound scans, 4 trips to A&E etc). It helped me to express my anger like that. I may have to sit and work out what some of the bigger numbers were again. Or indeed include some of the other crap things to put this year to bed.

radiobedhead · 06/12/2014 23:31

That does sound rubbish OP. Fear not, 2015 is nearly here!

Mid way through the year I was a bit fed up so wrote a list of all the good things that I'd done over the last six months. I've kept it up and now have a really big list of Good Stuff. It has fun nights out on it, holiday, theatre I went to, old friends I met up with, places I went, hobbies I started... Everything.

I know it feels crap now but I bet you've done some fun stuff too. Why not try a list too?

Original poster
Crumbelina · 06/12/2014 23:31

Oh, thank you Double! I'm hoping things will get better - it's just strange how some things all come at once!

OP posts:
SASASI · 06/12/2014 23:40

I was like that about 2013. A lot of friend drama, cancer diagnosis, money worries & infertility.

Then just before Christmas I got the wonderful news of successful cancer surgery. Then day after Boxing Day I got a truly miracle bpf & he is beside me sleeping right now. Then life insurance payout for the cancer which is letting us create our forever family home.

If anyone had told me all this would be me now this time last year I would never have believed them in a million years. I know it's such a cliche but you just never know what is round the corner. I hope 2014 ends on a high for you & that it continues into 2015.

foslady · 06/12/2014 23:40

Another one glad to be shot of 2014 - and I was looking forward to it Confused

Nowhere near as bad as others on this thread Flowers

cricketpitch · 06/12/2014 23:50

Sorry to hear that you have had such a shit year OP - that is really rough. I truly hope that 2015 is better for you. Flowers

Some years are bad. 20* - 20* was for me. My dad was ill from Christmas but didn't get diagnosed, (with pancreatic cancer), until the July - three weeks before he died. My mum had a nervous breakdown. We lost my dad's business due to bastard partners taking advantage of his illness and death and a legal loophole. Our roof came off in a storm and the house was flooded and it took two months before we could get it fixed and the insurance company finally paid, (but not everything - it cost thousands), after 18 months. DP was working away on a temporary contract. DC1 was seriously ill and in hospital for a long time. I lost a contract that was a large percentage of my income. There were other things too - it was shit. I very nearly ended it all - truly.

BUT.... several/ quite a lot of years later and it is ok. Still got problems but there has been good news too and I feel so much better. I look back at that time and can't believe I made it through. But I did - and I am sure you will too because you sound strong and positive. Good luck

Original poster
Crumbelina · 06/12/2014 23:58

Bloody hell, Misskanga, that's awful! I really hope things get better for you. I always moan about the endless bfns but two miscarriages must be awful.

I'm definitely going to write down some of the good things that have happened this year. DH and I have bought a wreck of a house and move in next week. Hopefully that'll take my mind off things (or the damn thing will fall down the day we complete). Bugger. :)

OP posts:
Naughtyornicename · 07/12/2014 00:03

We raised a glass of fizz to 2000, (our late) mum had recently had her cancer all clear... Its been bloody shit since then.

Every year I say 'thank god that year's gone - the next one has to be better!' And it hasn't...

misskangaandroo2014 · 07/12/2014 00:03

They are awful. But the kick in the ovaries that are strings of BFN's are no picnic either!
I have to say writing something positive now would probably be sensible. September was dark and angry. But I'm in a different place now.
Still hate 2014 though, and want a refund Confused

NotGoingOut17 · 07/12/2014 00:07

Yep I'll be getting very drunk on NYE too - bad couple of years, last year my mum got a terminal cancer diagnosis out of the blue aged 57, and died almost a year to the day after this year. 2013 and 2014 have been the worst years of my life - I don't kid myself that things will change as soon as the clocks turn midnight on the 31st but I am very much looking forward to saying goodbye to this year and hoping for a healthier and happier 2015 - wishing you the same x

Ludoole · 07/12/2014 00:14

2014 was shitty for me too...
Dp was diagnosed with terminal cancer and df's alzheimers has progressed so that he now hallucinates most of the time.
In some ways I cant wait for the year to end but at the same time im likely to lose the first man I ever loved (my dad) and the last man I will ever love (my dp) next year...
Shitty years ahead from now on....

CowboyJoeFromMexico · 07/12/2014 00:17

Yep, I've had cancer this year and two lots of surgery. I feel completely different and I want the old me back.

Original poster
Crumbelina · 07/12/2014 00:17

Oh cricket - that's a terrible run of bad luck. It's good to hear that you feel better and more positive.

It feels so relentless sometimes and the past few weeks have been the worst. I'm now waiting to see a Neurologist about my eye, and if I'm not in the eye unit then I'm at the fertility clinic.

Ah yes, my lack of bfp means that I can get bloody drunk on NYE. I've been very sensible with my low alcohol consumption whilst trying to conceive but that's going out the window for a week over Xmas.

OP posts:
eveylikesv · 07/12/2014 00:17

Yanbu, shit here too. Work, overstressed, underpaid, overworked. Then midway through mum diagnosed out of the blue with pancreatic cancer, summer is a blur, mum dies in October as l am boarding a plane on the way back from business trip, on my own, 8 hours. Then depressed dad, depressed brothers, all 1000s miles away, house move, more stress, terrible twos start, work still shit. Relationship with dp going down a hill BUT it is never so bad that it can't get worse, so l am not looking forward to 2015 Sad

eveylikesv · 07/12/2014 00:21

ludo Flowers Sad

Original poster
Crumbelina · 07/12/2014 00:24

Some awful stories here and I really wish you all the best. Thinking back to when me/my Mum were healthy is the worst feeling and I need to stop doing it. My Mum is ok at the moment - they seem to have caught the cancer early but I'm worried about it coming back and worried if I'm going to develop other symptoms of MS. I've had some cracking headaches over the past week, but that could well be me stressing myself out!

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 07/12/2014 00:28

Terrible things have happened to several people near and dear to me. It could be coincidence, but I'm looking forward to a clean slate. It's odd, because usually the new year makes me unsettled and depressed but I just feel the need to move on.

Blessings and good luck to those on this thread who have experienced pain and hardship. May 2015 bring you peace x

HappydaysArehere · 07/12/2014 00:30

So sorry to hear of your troubles. This year has been bad one for us. Friends and family dying, cancer horrors, a daughter with a breakdown and a close friend who is going to pieces as her husband is suffering with asbestos on the lung and cancer. It just goes on and on. Like you can't wait to see it out in a haze of alcohol. Wishing you a good New Year and hoping everything improves.

cricketpitch · 07/12/2014 09:41

There are quite a lot of people having very difficult times - I am so sorry to hear these stories. It is a reminder to be a bit kinder to each other - we never really know what someone is going through.

So, roll on 2015 and a better outlook for everyone. .. And Crumblelina - a wreck is sooooo exciting!!! Have fun with it.

EatingMyWords · 07/12/2014 10:29

I've had a shit year too, death, lack of cash, cancer. Hoping 2015 is better for everyone Flowers
DH has a better job starting February so got something to look forward to already.

WeirdCatLady · 07/12/2014 10:36

So sorry for everyone's crappy year, Flowers Cake Wine all round.

It seems like every year I think, well it can't get any worse, next year will be a lot better. And then it gets worse anyway.

I remember thinking 2013 was a low point and hoping that 2014 would be fab. Nope, 2014 has been awful too. How can so much shit keep falling?

I'd like to hope for a better 2015 but I know it will be just a shit as the last few years.

Xmas Sad
formerbabe · 07/12/2014 10:39

I had some really shit years prior to 2009...since then they have been improving...touching wood to hope things stay OK...please, please universe!

Hope everyone's 2015 is happy and healthy.

needaholidaynow · 07/12/2014 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 07/12/2014 10:42

Flowers to everyone on here. I hope 2015 is a better year for all of you. Your problems make mine seem so insignificant in comparison, but I hope that 2015 is a better year for us as well.