To be annoyed that DH always feeds the kids crap

[PlasticPenuin]

DH is lazy. He will always go for the easy option. Whenever he's in sole charge of our DCs, aged 10 and 5, he will basically just give them crap to eat. I'm getting really cross about it but he thinks I'm being unfair.

Last night I went out; DD was at a friend's house and so DH just had to do tea for 5 year old DS. He gave him a huge muller corner crunch yoghurt, jam on toast and a 4 finger kit kat! I'm all for treats, but it boils my blood that DH would think that that was suitable for a main meal.

Whenever he's with the kids he'll just give them constant crisps, biscuits and sweets. I think he does that to shut them up so that he can do his own thing.

I know some of you will say that I'm being controlling and that I parent my way and he parents his way, but I don't think it's rocket science to know that constant junk isn't good for kids (or anyone...), and that they need a balanced diet. I also don't see why I should be the one picking up all the slack and thinking of healthy meals and preparing healthy food all the time. I can never really give the kids any treats because he stuffs them so full of crap.

I'm totally with you on this. I never get to feed my child rubbish because everyone else does it for me. Someone has to make sure she eats proper food and that's always me.

What did he eat himself? (Dh).

I thought at 5 yrs old they eat what the rest of the family eats.

Sounds like he cba and cannot cook either.

I'd stop buying all the crap for a start...and menu plan for the week, leaving no wiggle room for him.

If he's feeding them what's in the house it must have been bought in the first place. Do you shop together?

I thought by crap you were going to say fish fingers, chips and peas not bloody sweets and crisps for dinner! Totally unacceptable in my book but we don't have stuff like that in the house do my DH would be hard pressed to feed DS anything other than something vaguely healthy.

He went to the shop with DS and bought it all. He's a grown man, I can't stop him buying what he wants!

I don't know what he had for dinner; probably crisps and other crap

I do the shopping BTW, and I meal plan.

DH buys crap top-ups.

If he went and bought it himself that's another matter. Really negligent and puts you in the position of the baddie for making them eat sensibly.

Mine is exactly the same. And when I stopped buying snacks he moans there are none in the house...yes...that's because you eat two weeks worth in two days....literally. Drives me mad the kids have had biscuits and chocolate before they've even had breakfast which they then don't eat.

That is bad. Dh will tend to go for easier options when I'm not here, but by that I mean sandwiches, soups, bolagnaise (using a jar) etc. He would never consider what you listed a suitable meal for the kids, and DH can be the laziest man around.
I think you need to explain to him that he needs to step up and feed his children properly.
Other than that I guess all you can do is maybe plan ahead - put a meal in the slow cooker that he just has to plate up once you leave ( so less effort than going to the shop) or pre cook and freeze some health meals that he just has to reheat quickly. But at the end of the day he is a grown man and you shouldn't have to be doing that. He should be capable of making good food for his kids.

It makes me so cross because we literally have a kitchen full of stuff that he could have used to make something healthy or at least semi-healthy; a cupboard full of tins of beans, pasta sauces and soups, loads of bread, eggs, fridge full of fruit, veg, cheeses, ham, etc, freezer full of things that could have been used to make something decent. But no, he decided to be a lazy arse and just feed him crap.

I'd be mad at that too OP.

DH also goes for the semi-easy options such as fish fingers and chips, trips to Macdonald on the rare occasions i.e. once every couple of months that he picks him up from afterschool ( fair enough but if anyone is entitled to a break from cooking it's me). However even he wouldn't consider a bag of crisps and a jam sandwich to be a meal. Exceptionally lazy of him not to even throw a couple of slices of ham on bread for the DCs.

What does he eat himself? Is he or either of your DCs overweight?

I was expecting to read he'd fed them fish fingers or something equally mundane!

I would be annoyed about that "meal" too, op

Feed him the same meal.

If it's good enough for ds then it must be good enough for him!

I'm really glad DH isn't in charge of the DC's meals. They'd be nutritionally screwed if he were. Granted, he's a good cook and he actually taught me how to cook but he uses so.much.oil and salt, it's terrible. Also he's lazy after a long day at work so I suspect pizza would become a regular thing...

However your DH is another thing all together because he is often in charge of dinner by the looks of it and he's ignoring your meal plan and not even getting anything slightly sustainable either! Perhaps if it were fish/vegetable fingers, mash/chips and carrots and peas with a yogurt for afters that wouldn't be too bad. But sweets and crisps ... Completely out of order. That's never a meal, ever! I think the only day that's about acceptable is Christmas Day. He needs to buck up his ideas. Why would any responsible adult think of this as an acceptable meal? Even cheese toasties would be slightly better ffs.

Yanbu. It's not even hard or time consuming to chuck a Tina pasta salad together or shove a jacket potato in the oven. how is it easier to walk to the shop and buy the crap than it is to boil some water for a poached egg.

I'd go fuckin nuts tbh

Maybe give him that for his dinner and see how he likes it

Well it's not gonna kill him to eat this once is it, but if it's a regular thing then it's really not on
Also what did your DS have for lunch that day? My DC are currently sitting down to a sandwichey dinner (Dairylea sandwiches, cucumber chunks, carrot sticks, cocktail sausages, apple slices & raisins) but they had their hot meal for lunch today (chicken breasts, mash, broccoli peas & gravy) they have had something on toast with bits for dinner before after a large lunch (although the 'bits' have never been chocolate and crunch corners)
Have you spoke to your DH? What was his explanation for this meal?

Wellsome people think tomato soup from a can is healthly dinner or beans on toast.
Thats crap to me

That would really piss me off.

Fishfingers - fine.

Youhurt, jam and kitkat is basically a load of sugar with very minimal nutritional value.

What an idiot he is.

Come on, beans on toast is not in the same category as yoghurt, jammy toast and a kit kat.

Why do these threads immediately descend into competitive healthy eating? It is getting so tedious.

I have lots of wine in the house. Would it therefore be my fault if DH decided to let DS drink it when I wasn't there?

My dh does this . It really annoys me because I always feel the pressure to give my dcs healthy food as dh tends to give them crap.
I want to be able to give them crap once in a while, as sometimes I just don't feel like cooking .

Another thing DH does is that DS 8 is not thin - he's not fat as in rolls of fat, but definitely not thin. DH makes a big thing of noticing how often I serve up oven chips (once a week) and I think fair point so made a real effort to cook more healthily and restrict treats even when we were on holiday.

Come down from the room one day to find DS tucking into a huge chocolate muffin and a hot chocolate mid afternoon, so apparently monitoring DS's diet is my sole responsibility and Fun Dad gets to feed him what he wants .