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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think deleting someone off Facebook is a bit negative and unnecessary?

57 replies

EverythingIsChanging · 07/11/2014 15:04

So I have 2 friends let's call them C and P, I see both of them. They know each other through me although they aren't friends as such as in they don't meet up.

They have been friends on Facebook for years and I know c has posted nice comments about p's post of the kids and so on.

Anyway P deletes C off Facebook, and c messaged P saying she was a bit upset about it. P doesn't respond but messages me to tell me what happened. At first I tried to keep out of it as c hadn't even mentioned it to me but p kept on justifying it and trying to get me to say she was being unreasonable one to be upset. In the end I told p I thought it was a bit negative and unnecessary, if didn't want C to see posts could always set privacy accordingly (which P has previously shown me how to do as I have 2 friend lists on FB). P made it clear he didn't agree I said it's their decision but that's my opinion fwiw.

So was interested to hear what other people think? I'm seeing C tomorrow f2f so hope she doesn't bring it up....

OP posts:

avocadotoast · 07/11/2014 15:32

I think it's completely up to P who they have added on Facebook, and if C doesn't like it, then it's tough really. I don't have FB any more myself, but I know when I did I'd have periods of going through and deleting people I don't know so well. Never had anyone get huffy about it though.

If I were you and it gets mentioned, I'd just say something like "I know you're upset, but it's not really my business, and it makes it awkward for me being in between the two of you."

Honestly, if someone wants to make such a fuss over not being someone's friend on facebook then that's their problem, not yours.

WorraLiberty · 07/11/2014 15:36

Christ, why did you even entertain this shit?

Just tell them to grow up.

They can add/delete who they want.

cheesecakemom · 07/11/2014 15:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

katiegee · 07/11/2014 15:51

Personally, I have no qualms about deleting people off my facebook. I have done so in the past and my reasons have ranged from finding their posts offensive or boring to them being someone I don't really see in real life/ have much contact with any more. I try to keep my friends list relatively small, it's mostly family, friends and a few friends/family who live in other countries as facebook makes it easy and convenient to keep in contact.

Whatever P's reasons are for deleting C off facebook I think it's up to her and it's probably best for you to stay out of it if you can. There's no reason for you to get involved or feel you can't continue to be friends with both of them.

StrattersFeeear · 07/11/2014 16:05

I delete loads of people from Facebook. It's MY Facebook, and I'll do with it as I please.

You all sound about 5.

ArkhamOffett · 07/11/2014 16:08

Don't get bogged down in other peoples' pettiness on FB.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherFuckerDoes · 07/11/2014 16:08

its Facebook please tell me your all about 7 and in that case your far too young to be on it

BackforGood · 07/11/2014 16:15

Have to agree with everyone else.
I have a regular "trim" of people on FB who post lots of stuff, or like lots of stuff that clogs up my newsfeed. I hope anyone that I'm friends with, who feels the same about me, does the same.
It's just a facebook link, nothing to do with ranking how much you like the person.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/11/2014 16:17

I think that C was negative and unnecessary to complain to P about being deleted. They are not close friends and he can do what he wants with his FB page. Why is C even bothered about this?

FrauHelga · 07/11/2014 16:18

I delete loads of people off facebook - usually when they piss me off. It's better than seeing their crap. Totally up to them and I don't know why you'd even be bothered.

usualsuspect333 · 07/11/2014 16:21

Stay out of it.

I don't care if people delete me. I often don't notice for months.

Original poster

EverythingIsChanging · 07/11/2014 16:24

*Christ, why did you even entertain this shit?
Just tell them to grow up.

They can add/delete who they want.*

Lol I agree and were all 13 actually ;)

I gotta be honest I would not delete someone off Facebook unless they'd pissed me off I think most people would wonder wtf they'd done if deleted by someone unless they were very distant. And I guess if someone is going to delete off Facebook then they have to deal with any huffiness, can't have it both ways. If P feels so justified I don't know have to keep on about it !! I'm sure it will be fine just will not comment any more! I've already told p I'm sure C's over it by now anyhow like 3 times now!

Pah FB!!

OP posts:

addictedtobass · 07/11/2014 16:26

Why should P mess around with limiting his profile just to appease someone he isn't actually friends with? I understand why you are annoyed since C is now bugging you but that's C's issue not P's, she can be upset out about it but she needs to get passed it and just forget about P.

StrattersFeeear · 07/11/2014 16:27

I delete if people piss me off, post stuff I find offensive, or are committing the crimes of over posting, or being incredibly dull. What's the point of hiding someone's feed, particularly if I don't even really know them.

addictedtobass · 07/11/2014 16:29

I think most people wouldn't even notice unless they actually were friends. P obviously doesn't care about C's or he wouldn't have deleted her. If P keeps going on about it then just cut him off, either he thinks you are judging him about it and is annoyed at you 'taking her side'- which is petty- or he's feeling guilty.

It's done now though.

Original poster

EverythingIsChanging · 07/11/2014 16:31

Lol yeah tbh I just don't want to have convo with C and also P was looking for me to be sympathetic not really considering that it might make it awkward for me. Seriously though fb is a pita :)

OP posts:

BaffledSomeMore · 07/11/2014 16:33

I could have been P recently. Quietly unfriended someone with whom I had no real relationship any more and her fb posts were irritating me. Except she started messaging me going on about it so eventually I blocked them. I wouldn't be surprised if she's done tears over it and I wouldn't expect to have to justify who I am fb friends with.

addictedtobass · 07/11/2014 16:54

Facebook can be lethal, worse is people using :) It's a tool, this is their issue just ignore it. No sympathy for P, just say you get the reasoning but it's not the way you flow and as for C let her bring it up and if she does ask her why she cares since they were't mates anyway.

Crapunzel · 07/11/2014 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skylark2 · 07/11/2014 16:57

You lot do realise it's possible to exist without a Facebook account, right?

I think this is the only website I use where it's treated as a basic part of life.

BastardGoDarkly · 07/11/2014 16:59

I delete at will :)

Anyone that posts anything from Britain first, anything racist or twatty in general,I just unfriend them, I don't want that shit on my wall, and I don't want to know anyone that thinks like that.

Anyone that would even mention this to a third party is a needy weirdo.

BauerTime · 07/11/2014 17:07

We all have FB 'friends' that are friends of friends or people we have tenuous links with. Doesn't everyone occasionally get rid of people they don't actually know too well so as to de-clutter their news feed etc?

I certainly wouldn't notice id any of these people de-friended me, and even if I did I cant say that id care.

I have been de-friended by a family member though and i know that was done to make a point. However, they are a twat and I still couldn't care less about not getting updates about how the whole world is against her and her pathetic self-righteous rants so she has done me a favour actually.

SparkyLark · 07/11/2014 17:32

this is what I don't like about Facebook and why I've never been a fan. Things are set in stone, unlike real-life human friendships which ebb and wane, develop and sometimes die naturally ...

youmakemydreams · 07/11/2014 17:36

I think it's odd to never delete people in case you offend them rather than the other way about.
I regularly delete people that I have tenuous friends of friends links or people I don't actually speak to anymore for whatever reason. Gosh worrying so much about these people must be a pretty stressful way to live.

Sorry but P doesn't have to think about how awkward it is for you because she's a grown up and assumed it wouldn't be an issue. And it is her Facebook page she can do what she wants.
C has been very immature over all of this. They have a link that is you. They don't meet up they don't have a relationship with each other they do with you and I'm assuming they still have you as a friend so this is a total non issue.

SparkyLark · 07/11/2014 17:41

this is what I don't like about Facebook and why I've never been a fan. Things are set in stone, unlike real-life human friendships which ebb and wane, develop and sometimes die naturally ...

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