To think deleting someone off Facebook is a bit negative and unnecessary?

[EverythingIsChanging]

So I have 2 friends let's call them C and P, I see both of them. They know each other through me although they aren't friends as such as in they don't meet up.

They have been friends on Facebook for years and I know c has posted nice comments about p's post of the kids and so on.

Anyway P deletes C off Facebook, and c messaged P saying she was a bit upset about it. P doesn't respond but messages me to tell me what happened. At first I tried to keep out of it as c hadn't even mentioned it to me but p kept on justifying it and trying to get me to say she was being unreasonable one to be upset. In the end I told p I thought it was a bit negative and unnecessary, if didn't want C to see posts could always set privacy accordingly (which P has previously shown me how to do as I have 2 friend lists on FB). P made it clear he didn't agree I said it's their decision but that's my opinion fwiw.

So was interested to hear what other people think? I'm seeing C tomorrow f2f so hope she doesn't bring it up....

p.s. I actually think someone "de-friending" someone else is quite an unpleasant thing to do.

If I don't like a friends post, I just hide it. If they continue with things that offend/upset me, I un follow them. Ive yet to 'trim' my friends list. If I've ever been unfriended, hey oh, that's life. And I wouldn't know anyway I guess.
I do find folk getting upset about it a lot strange tbh, especially if they are grown ups.

I'm not on facebook. I think its a shame how people get so hung up on what happens there.

If a friend came up to you in the street and said "I de-friend you" I think it would be natural to be upset.

What I find strange is when people think to do the same online is just normal and OK behaviour, because its online its OK to treat people like that. Something you wouldn't ACTUALLY do in real life.

I have defriended someone recently purely because ever since I've known her she has been extremely unpleasant about someone I know but am not friends with, it is common knowledge that she can't stand this person and yet on Facebook photos pop up of them together regularly socialising and I think it's just so two-faced. I'll probably see her over the Xmas period and if she asks why I've defriended her I'll tell her.

So as others have said it's her Facebook and she can delete who she wants.

Wishyouwould I think that's the point, most people de-friend for a negative reason/making a point...it's easy to get people's newsfeed out of yours.

I like having 2 friends lists as certain things I can post to all people I know for example lost dog posts, asking if anyone can recommend x y z and the other list more personal stuff.

Is there not an etiquette book??

I delete people who share Britain First or UKIP posts because I think they're fucking idiots.

It's my facebook and I'll do what I damn well want. It doesn't bother me when people delete me either.

Tickle totally agree, and love your name

I've always said to dp I thinknits the word friend that causes the real issue. You aren't always 'friends' with a lot of these people that you have on Facebook though.
You wouldn't walk up to someone in the street and say I de friend you but usually the people I have deleted are people that I don't interact with anyway so why keep them there?
Why should I faff around making lists and friendship groups for people I don't want to see or don't want to see stuff? If I feel like that why have them on my friends list in the first place. So I remove them.

I generally try and keep it to people I would struggle to interact with any other way. Family and friends are widespread so it's a nice way to keep up with people. Indont add people that I see every day at school run generally for instance. I can chat to them I don't need their daily updates in Facebook too.
Most people are grown ups and get this. Others like ex sil decided it meant I hate her and didn't want her in my house. No I can ring you pop in and see you it's not what I use Facebook for.

I'm not on FB anymore but I did delete people.

Sparky I see what you mean about defriending but in real life you don't maintain relationships with so many tenuous links. I'm sure people deleted me but I only ever noticed it once, it did slightly needle but I could understand why he did it.

I think all parties involved need to grow up a bit.

I mean, I'm sick of all this passive aggressive online crap. Whatever happened to hashing things out like adults? And I'm 21 ffs

usualsuspect33 I actually never notice who has deleted me. Even though my 'friend count' diminishes each month

Must be something I've said. Not that I give a shit. Let the kids have their playtime.

I do too tickle, posting Britain first shite is a dumpable offence

I get that one doesn't De-friend in real life, but nor does one send a little message to the mate of a mate asking them to be their friend in the first place.

Why thank you Bastard

I have been through a period of depression recently, now managed through medication, but triggered by life changing issues that aren't going away. I found FB hard going for various reasons including feeling isolated or just down right pissed off with the trivia. I also felt that I wanted to keep myself and my DCs to myself and the people who were there for me, but as I have posted very special news and pics on there over the years, I didn't want to close my account. Instead I cut me friends list by two thirds. No doubt there are people who think I'm rude or petty to have done so.

What I'm saying is that there may be more to it than P simply having the arse with C. Facebook can be demoralising when you're down.

I read Worra's post and stopped there.

Worra is 100% correct, I second what she has said.

I have unfriended and been unfriended. It takes me an age to realise I've been unfriended and I couldn't care less if someone gets shot of me on there. It's only Facebook and there was a time when it didn't exist and everyone coped.

This is reminding me of a cousin who was very upset with me for unfriending me. I discovered this on a photo that dh commented on. I had my reasons for unfriending this cousin and all my other relatives for that matter which I won't bore you with but I wish that cousin would've messaged me instead of whining about it on a photo that I couldn't comment on.

People behave oddly on there. I keep out of it.

*very upset with me for unfriending HER! Silly phone!

Oooh I shall try unfriending myself!

I have unfriended people I still want to be friends with in RL, but just want to have more compartmentalism. So recently I deleted all colleagues as it was getting to the point where I had to add all colleagues or say to them, 'actually I've added X as they're my friend - you're not'.

It was easier to delete all colleagues.

Bit awkward for a week or two but better now.

I also deleted friendships that would have otherwise fizzled out already. If I wouldn't stop in the street and chat for a while with them, there's no point having them on FB.

Nothing negative, it's just trying to keep some semblance of privacy/restricting who I share things with (yeah I know).

I regularly delete people I don't know very well if they post too much/ post annoying stuff so C could have been one of those who posted photos of her kids every 5mins/ posted links to annoying online games/ posted links to annoying online quizzes (I'll stop there but there many more annoying possibilities...)

I deleted more people when I had kids and didn't want too many people seeing my (occasional) photos.

In conclusion completely up to P who she's friends with and if they don't ever meet up why does C even care?!

Seriously though fb is a pita No it isn't... the people who use it can be, like in this case.

If P didn't want C on his fb, that is totally up to them. The only time I messaged someone re being deleted off fb, was when my sister deleted me, so I asked my brother. Apparently I pissed her off by calling her on her bullying of our younger (much younger) half sister & one of our cousins. She didn't like it cos the whole world wasn't agreeing with her, like they usually have to do.

tell C to get over it.

I've defriended when friendships have naturally drifted apart and in any other circumstances, contact would havery fizzled out.

I can think of two friends that have defriended me. One was barked that I'd discussed person X's positioning of bath taps with his ex. He was so bitter umpteen years later that I didn't respond to the friends request 2 weeks later. The other was a friend going through a bit of a life crisis and hit a different life stage didn't appreciate where I was at. Gradually all mutual friends were dropped so it wasn't just me. I was sad about that one because I still cared about them and probably always will as I'd known them so long.
Not something to get bitch over though. I hide people I care about but don't want to see the posts of.