To hope that play dates get better as DC get older?

[MATB1]

I used to love having people over but now it's just grim. The house gets destroyed, DD1 gets overexcited and emotional, the other kid(s) just annoy me....

DD1 is 3 btw. Do play dates get better as they get older or am I pissing in the wind?

im hoping this too. i find them hugely stressful, house gets wrecked, you end up playing referee. dd is 3 too!

It's just hard work now isn't it? They used to be good fun, and cute watching the kids play. Now they bicker and whine and are boisterous. And are all bloody potty training.

Yes, they get better because with older kids you can say 'right, all of you tidy up before X and Y go home, please'.

It gets better when they get to school though some need more supervision than others. Toys usually get left out as they van be a bit keen to move onto the next thing but the house is far from trashed and I will happily swop a bit of tidying for DS happily playing for ages enabling me to get jobs done. He is 8 btw but it has all been pretty easy from 6 onwards.

The hardest thing is parting the kids at the end of the play date, they always want to 'just finish this' or 'can I just show you this'. They beg for a bit longer, spend ages getting shoes on, sulk or cry and I have even had a child go upstairs and hide because he didn't want to go home! My DS is one for dragging it out but at least doesn't cry or hide! They all do this to some degree!

dd had her best friend over today. They made fish pie :)

She is 14 though!

in the summer at least you can get to the park etc. tomorrow i am meant to be doing a play date with 3 kids 3 and under.... i just hope the weather is good because the thought of them all in the house is already making me nervous. and the thing is we mums would like to catch up too, but we never can get a conversation because the kids are so demanding! i really respect nursery workers, i wouldn't have the patience!

I hate them too - at least with your own child you can tell them off. And, because you love them, it is easier to put up with their nonsense. I had visions of lovely baking and role playing loveliness. The reality is different.

I just stopped doing them after DD2 had had a few of them. I was heartily SICK of the whole thing after doing them with DD1 as well.

Why does your house get wrecked?

My DS is 3. Playdates used to ne bouncing a cute baby on your knee while eating cake. Now its like some sort of mob mentality where they take the cake from you, decide they don't want it and grind it into the carpet. Then they go on some sort of crusade to empty every puzzle/box in the house. No time to chat as busy acting referee and enforcing fucking sharing.

I know what you mean, I find channeling Joyce Grenfell quite effective. Jolly instructions about tidying things away before getting the next toy out, that sort of thing.

Some kids look a bit bewildered but don't usually argue if it's not home turf.

Wait until they are older. Three noway, and no house party either as my house will be destroyed.

Oh, take heart, dear OP ...it does get better, it really does, but the first 46 years are the worst. [oldgrandmama has two middle-aged children ]

I am joking, of course.

Play dates at 3? No way. Messy bickering children who may or may not have mastered wiping their own bums? Ha ha ha.

DD is 4 and has had one...I'm waiting until they're school aged so they can play a bit more independently and bugger off in time for tea

I think if you take them out to groups and meet up with friends there, you can avoid them until they're six. They're still a bit of a nightmare then, but not quite so bad.

By about 8, if they're a good friend, they disappear upstairs, find something to do and don't fall out. I still rarely have two at once round though - that's still stressful as they egg each other on and tend to behave badly.

I had two 5yo and 2 8yo in my house yesterday. There was a certain amount of destruction (8yos played football and tramped mud through the house, lots of toys came out) but nowhere near as bad as when they were 3. Best of all, I had to do NOTHING. Except provide biscuits. I did some filing. It was great.

I've got a playdate for three 2 yr olds (and a baby) scheduled this weekend. I was looking forward to it until I read this thread :(

Ds is coming up to 5 and a half and I find play dates with other boys hugely stressful.
Girls not so much. Ds's best friend is a girl and they play together beautifully. He has several other good friends - all boys - total nightmare. They just egg each other on and get louder and louder. Then they play fight. Horrific! I dread them but because my ds is unfortunately an only child I feel like I should have at least one or two a week.

My 2.5 year old had his first playdate at our house yesterday, because I had a deadline and some crazed idea that having his friend from the childminder's over might mean they played together and let me concentrate. Duh, obviously.

Christ, I was a wreck, as was the house, even though I made them do a tidy up game before the other child left. My son was very excited in advance, and enjoyed talking about it afterwards, but while the other boy (who is almost a year and a half older) was here, they either seemed to play separately in the same room, or DS seemed slightly anxious about his friend playing with his toys. (He's very good these days at sharing at playgroup and the childminder, but being an only child, not used to sharing his own toys in his home...) I've never been so glad to hear the doorbell.

But again, as he has no siblings, I feel there will be a lot of these in our futures...

I don't think there's any point in them until DCs are around 5 or 6, before that it's too much for them and they really only play "alongside" each other until the age of 4 and need a lot of adult supervision. It gets better when they're about 7/8, unless your DCs are exceptionally difficult or have friends who have difficulty following instruction or rules. There's always hassle though, I remember some neighbours knocking at my door because DS and best mate were chucking the entire contents of our bathroom cabinets out the back upstairs windows. They were about 8 and I had foolishly "trusted" them to play without wrecking the house, more fool me.

DS is currently upstairs with his friend, they are both 8. Its the first 'playdate' I've hosted in over a year (except birthdays) and its been fine so far except I cant work out why they must visit the toilet together

We've had the same boy round at age 5 and 6 and I found both times quite stressful no way would I have done playdates without the other parent staying, at age 3!

Its DD's turn next, she and her friends are 5/nearly 6...be interesting to see how that works out!

Surprised at the responses here! I love play dates!!
My dds are 3 & 5 , and I literally see neither hide nor hair of any child until I call dinner! They shut themselves in their respective rooms and play. I always organise a play date for when I fancy a break.
If we're good friends, the mums stay and we chat and drink coffee, if we're not they dump and run.

They do get better, I used to hate playdates, the mess and chaos was stressful. I remember one particularly awful time when the entire contents of my DDs wardrobe was taken into the garden for 'dressing up', and it was muddy outside .

My girls are now 13 and things are much easier when mates are round, except for the fact they want them to stay overnight too often!

My DD is 7. She loves play dates. Our house rule is that they can make as much mess as they like, but they tidy up together before friend goes home. All her friends understand that and don't complain about it

I used to hate playdates at the pre-school stage. From 5 upwards it's usually fine and more of the 'disappear and play' experience.