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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little bit cross with the stupid HV

42 replies

SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:03

So the hospital told us to get PFB's head measurement checked every two weeks. First time since this instruction and the HV told me she doesn't think it is required and that if it is they should write to her. Because the consultant's letter to the GP was not good enough? Uh? I know the hospital are probably being overcautious but I would rather do what I'm told. Completely failed to stand up to her as I am too tired and PFB was screaming. Don't really want to piss her off as DH has already had a go at her boss for her not turning up....

OP posts:
hollie84 · 04/11/2014 14:06

I would speak her boss and explain that the consultant has asked for this and written to the GP but the HV says she can't do it without a written instruction - would it be possible to arrange for the HV to see the letter? Let the boss draw her own conclusions without actually complaining.

DoughnutSelfie · 04/11/2014 14:06

Bypass GV and get the GP to measure. And pass on your experience to the Practice Manager.

Nb don't understand the bit about the boss.

ILovePud · 04/11/2014 14:11

I'd put the request in writing and ask for another HV to be allocated, it's important to have confidence in your health care professionals and it's not uncommon for people to ask to swap.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:12

Great advice thank you! Can't think straight with screaming baby / lack of sleep. Tried to find the letter when she was here but brain is mush... I wish HV wasn't quite so grumpy about everything.... She says it will take too long to measure his head (she is weighing him every two weeks anyway......). Considering buying scales and a tape measure so I don't have to see her again TBH. Fed up of arguing (HV: I don't think he needs to be [weighed/measured/seen] every x weeks; me: the hospital told us to.... Every time she comes!).

OP posts:
hollie84 · 04/11/2014 14:14

Sounds like it is worth requested a new HV.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:17

Doughnut.... DH called the Practice last time when she didn't show up and had a bit of a rant as last few times she had not turned up. What he didn't know is that she had left me a voicemail (which I hadn't picked up - I was having surgery so unconscious at the time) so he was being unreasonable on that occasion as he didn't have the message... And he was a bit overly grumpy with them as he was a bit stressed out! Does that make sense? She turned up the right day this time.

OP posts:
mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 04/11/2014 14:18

Ignore the health visitor - at best they're useless, at worst, bloody dangerous. See the gp.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:20

Thanks Hollie I think you might be right... Can I just do that? She is really doing nothing except annoying me at the moment. DS was 10 weeks early and tiny hence all the extra measuring and I could really do without the confrontation. In fact a little support might be nice...

OP posts:
EyeoftheStorm · 04/11/2014 14:20

Would you be able to measure your DC's head yourself? We had to do this for DS2. Whenever anyone different measured, they always told us it was unreliable as it's hard to always measure in the same place.

We were encouraged to do it ourselves as one person is more reliable.

It's unprofessional of your HV not to follow the consultant/GP's instructions, especially as she's weighing him every two weeks anyway.

It might be less stressful to do it yourself though and keep your own record. At least you know it's being done then.

PotteringAlong · 04/11/2014 14:20

Can't you just take him to a clinic and get them to weigh him / do his head there? Is there a reason the HV needs to do a home visit every time?

hollie84 · 04/11/2014 14:21

It doesn't need to be a confrontation and your shouldn't need to speak to her about it - go to her boss.

EyeoftheStorm · 04/11/2014 14:21

DS2 was 10 weeks early too

Theorientcalf · 04/11/2014 14:23

If you've been in hospital then a letter should also have been sent to the health visitor with a discharge summery and plan of care. As well as the GP. As a children's nurse I'm telling you this should have happened.

You should also have a copy of the letter sent to the GP so I would show that to the HV.

Can I just add that not all HV are rubbish. Many of them are out dated but a lot of are supportive and up to date.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:26

Pottering... We've been told to avoid clinics as DS's lungs are a bit dodgy and need to avoid infection over the winter...

EyeoftheStorm... That sounds like a good plan. I'm happy to measure myself. HV is struggling with the corrected age on the charts too... How long did you have to measure with DS2? Did he have IUGR? Consultant has also recommended osteopath for torticollis... Did your DS2 have that? Sorry so many questions I am overexcited to find someone with similar experience!

OP posts:
Theorientcalf · 04/11/2014 14:28

I'd see a children's physio for torticollis. They should have referred you.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:29

The orient.... I agree I am sure the HV was on the cc of the letter (which DH has "tidied up" and so I can't find anywhere at all...).

What bugged me is her reacting like I am personally requesting this extra measurement... I mean, why would I do that? I'm just doing what I'm told. Grr...

OP posts:
Theorientcalf · 04/11/2014 14:33

If she's weighing him anyway, it won't take long to do his head circ as well.

Gawjushun · 04/11/2014 14:34

We had the same hassle with our HV. For some reason the instruction to measure my DS's head was far too confusing for her. Eventually we asked one of the senior, nice old lady HVs to do it.

(Not that our son even really needed the head measurements, but that's a whole other rant.)

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:34

The orient... Yes they referred us not recommended. My words were wrong! The person the neonatal team uses is called a cranial osteopath but seems very similar to physio to me (I am sure there is a technical big difference but from the first session it does seem quite effective and even DH who is a very skeptical hospital doctor was impressed and DS's improved range of movement).

OP posts:
SassySugarCane · 04/11/2014 14:34

It is completely and utterly NONE of her business. Tell her not to bother coming round again.

EyeoftheStorm · 04/11/2014 14:36

No IUGR but he did have bleeds on the brain which is why they monitored carefully. You would know if this had happened to your DS as they ultrasound their heads within a few days when they are premature.

Must also add DS2 5 now and doing really well.

The brain bleeds led to hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) for DS2 and that's why we had to chart his head growth. It doesn't sound like that's what happened to your DS.

Does torticollis affect the shape of the head and that's why they want you to measure?

Theorientcalf · 04/11/2014 14:37

My DH is a physio and I'm sure he would he horrified to be compared to an osteopath. Grin

Don't let the osteo do any manipulation, btw.

Original poster
SparklyOctopus · 04/11/2014 14:39

Gawjus.... you made me laugh. The funny thing is I actually think the neonatal doctors are being really overcautious but my point is that they are the doctors and I am a FTM and I just want to do what I'm told without the hassle! And as the orient says... How long does it take to measure a head incremental to actually getting here and doing the scales and all that anyway??

Right. Better go hunt down one of these nice old lady HVs. But I think I might have a cup of tea first...

OP posts:
EyeoftheStorm · 04/11/2014 14:43

Oh and we measured for 5 months. Poor boy was off the charts by then, had an operation, problem fixed.

I'm breezy now but I remember very well the limbo of wondering what was wrong and what would happen to DS.

You need a huge psychic sock so that people with little empathy ie your HV don't take up any of your energy while you're going through a difficult time.

Off on school pick up but will check in on you later.

fluffyraggies · 04/11/2014 14:45

Just wanted to say you're not alone with HV stress. You're not in Warwickshire are you OP? Our baby is tiny (she's 9 months now) and i had to move heaven and bloody earth to her weighed at all at around 3 months. HV seemed to drop off the face of the earth and GP never knew where she was or who to call. She would just go AWOL leaving a list of patients with appointments.

Long story short i ended up driving 30 miles (we're rural) to a random sure start center to get DD weighed as i was so concerned. Cue an almighty hoo har as she hadn't gained enough weight. Hence abrupt end of breast feeding a load of phone calls and a struggle between GP who wanted baby weighed weekly and HV (who was still hardly ever there) who obviously didn't think it necessary Angry

and breath.