To be a little bit cross with the stupid HV

[SparklyOctopus]

So the hospital told us to get PFB's head measurement checked every two weeks. First time since this instruction and the HV told me she doesn't think it is required and that if it is they should write to her. Because the consultant's letter to the GP was not good enough? Uh? I know the hospital are probably being overcautious but I would rather do what I'm told. Completely failed to stand up to her as I am too tired and PFB was screaming. Don't really want to piss her off as DH has already had a go at her boss for her not turning up....

Sorry to the orient's husband! I know nothing about the difference between physio and osteo... Oops. Keep getting told off for confusing psychiatry and psychology too. No offence intended!

EyeoftheStorm... They are monitoring just in case it is hydrocephalus but as his scans were fairly ok in the NICU (just one minor bleed) they think it's unlikely. His head is big relative to his body as he had asymmetrical IUGR (stopped growing inside but prioritised his brain) so he is getting plagiocephally due to torticollis (ie head getting a bit lopsided as he has a stiff neck because his head is disproportionately big). He's only on the 0.4 centile for weight but >60 for head circumference. So they are being a bit overcautious but as they missed bilateral inguinal hernias I would prefer them to be cautious just in case....

Is the constant worrying just a symptom of being a mum or does it get better?

And to fluffy... No I'm not near you but poor you!! I am getting frustrated with trying to follow the doctors instructions without having to kick up a fuss. How is your baby now? DS dropped just below 0.4 centile today so considering a bit more formula (currently just doing formula for the final feed of the day...).

Hvs are crap. Honestly since having kids they appear to be shitter than lawyers and estate agents.

I refused to let them in. Long story but essentially nothing happened. I just saw docs instead. You don't have to see hvs. It won't get you black marks or anything. X

How long have you been told to measure babies head / weigh for? Your Hv should have received the exact same copy of any letters from your hospital that your gp has. She obviously hasn't received this letter and it therefore thinking your being a bit ott. How long have you been told to avoid clinics for? It is not practical for a Hv to come to your home to weigh and measure your baby every 2 weeks if your baby is growing at a 'normal' rate. They simply don't have the time. If you are still being seen in a hospital they can do this then if they feel it's necessary.

I am really sad that all HVs are being tarred with the 'useless and crap' brush - so narrow minded :-(

Poor you. We have had similar problems with our hv but we mostly avoid and go to the clinic. Our local sure start centre has a room with scales you can use any time, maybe yours has too?

My DS4 has hydrocephalus so we're head measuring regularly too.

Get a new HV, not good if she can't be bothered to measure his head.

Just thought I'd add for balance that there are also some lovely good and helpful HV's where we live. They all take it in turns to run the clinic and I always try and engineer it so that I go when one of the nice HV's is running it.

Not narrow minded at all. Mines a long story and detailed in hv uselessness but really do I need to make the op feel worse about the idiot she's let in?!?!?

I now view them like vampires. Never invite in and salt every opening. Really don't feel a need to expand and scare a person further!

By the time ds was a year old not 1 solid past his lips. He point blank refused to wean after speaking to the HV for 6 month I totally lost it with her. I said it's all well and good telling me that he need 5 fruit and veg a day ect ect but he will not eat.

He was also delayed on every milestone and didn't sleep for more that 2 hours.

I was living hell on earth with no support from the HV at all.

I managed to get a new HV who was very concerned and did an referral to a child's doctor. That got the ball rolling with speech and language therapy, dietician, hearing test, eye test, a mouth doctor and play therapist.

After 3 years he was Dx with asd.

They tried to put me under the old HV with my 2nd in which I wouldn't let her past the door and requested another HV.

Op I would advice you to tell the GP surgery you want another HV.

I bloody hate rubbish HVs - their accurate and knowledgeable support is so necessary at this time. My DS was severe IUGR and prem - I bought a weigh scales so I could keep him away from germs (we were advised to keep him away from other children for up to 6 months if possible due to chronic lung disease) and my HV was utterly rubbish too - she actually thought premature babies simply needed to get bigger. Moron.

I would advise buying scales - so useful. Good luck

Hi OP congrats on your little one I am sorry to hear you are going through this. My baby was born at 27 weeks and we were told to do the same, head measurements every 2 weeks, weight taken also and our health visitor was happy to help us. She had to come to our home because we were told that due to chronic lung disease and respiratory infection risk we were not to go to clinic. Again she was very supportive and even advised which classes and clinics were ok to attend.

Has your little one been offered the RSV jabs through winter? They help protect against respiratory infection and are usually a course of 5 jabs given at 4 week intervals. We had them through the childrens outpatients at our hospital and with that and keeping away from clinics we managed to go all winter with no germs.

I hope you are able to find another health visitor or another route to get the measurements you need. I must admit that I got some baby scales and became fairly obsessive about our babies weight, but she is now 16 months and apart from a few minor issues doing very well.

Best wishes and hope all goes well. Hope you got that cup of tea!

Cautious is good re head measurements with premature baby.

And as to your question about constant worrying - DS2 was number 3 and I've worried about him more than the other two put together. You and your DS got off to a difficult start, it's normal to worry.

Good to hear it was a minor bleed and hydrocephalus unlikely. I do think DS2 was quite unlucky and most bleeds in premature babies don't lead to problems. You might get some advice if you start a thread about torticollis.

Also most babies have quite big heads in proportion to their bodies and so do toddlers. I remember a mum at school leaning into DS2's pushchair to look at him and she said; oh, big head, more brains. After all he'd been through, it made me laugh because she meant it in a nice way.

Thanks for the very supportive messages. So nice to get some advice.

Wobbly... We don't qualify for RSV vaccines in our area (not quite premature enough at 29+6) which is a shame. So we are being very cautious about the germs - we've been told that avoiding clinics, baby groups and so on is the best thing as bugs can get serious fast with small babies (and he has chronic lung disease too). It's lucky I am quite antisocial! It's nice to hear that that worked for you and your little one as keeps me going!!

Eye... I like big head more brains :-)

And to the people who are worried about reputation of HVs... I'm just moaning about mine today, not about all of them! I've only met one. I'm sure it's like any job where some people are better than others, and everyone has off days. Just having a bit of a whinge and feeling a bit down as DS is very hungry and noisy today and I am VERY tired!!

Agree with the advice to ask to see another HV. I'd also expect a decent HV to be able to manage the corrected age thing on the charts without difficulty too.

DS1 also needed his head measured frequently when he was a newborn (different reasons than your DS), and the measurements really didn't take the HV long to do at all. Weighing them takes much longer, so if she has to come out to weigh him anyway, I don't see why doing a head measurement would be a big problem for her.

Hope all goes well with your DS.