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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

how much to ask for rent , etc

48 replies

healthwarning · 20/10/2014 12:20

my dd is 21 and has a part time job , with overtime it is nearly full time , last month she brought home £795 , so nearly £200 a week , wibu to ask for £30 a week to cover food,electric and gas , she buys her own clothes etc , what is a reasonable amount to ask , and how do others work it out .

OP posts:
Nohootingchickenssleeping · 20/10/2014 12:22

That's very reasonable. My Dad always said 1/3 of your wage to cover rent so you're being generous IMHO.

HighwayDragon · 20/10/2014 12:23

I'd take half off her, then save half of what she gives you fir when she wants to buy her own place.

MrsGeorgeMichael · 20/10/2014 12:24

could you give her a bill to be responsible for ie electric bill for our house is about that much

KirjavaTheCat · 20/10/2014 12:25

It depends, is she saving? If she is then a small amount to cover utilities would be reasonable. No more than £30. But you'd need to know she's being responsible and actually saving.

Floralnomad · 20/10/2014 12:27

It is entirely dependent on your own families circumstances . I have a DS who works and at the moment I don't ask him for anything because our financial position means I don't need to .

Letitbee · 20/10/2014 12:28

Higway Dragon - she is 21 not 2 - she can save if she wants to by herself - would you also wipe her bum for her just in case she misses a bit?.
£50 is reasonable rent plus a reasonable share of house work.

Letitbee · 20/10/2014 12:30

Bloody hell - do a load of you really check on the finances of your 21 year olds to 'make sure they are saving' How bloody intrusive
If you treat people like children do not be surprised by childish behavior

myfurbyisalive · 20/10/2014 12:32

Depends what else she is doing really. Is she studying? Does she have siblings, would you expect them to give you keep at her age? Because if not its unfair to punish her for working.

But if not studying and living with you for free, definitely take something, about £200pm?

Spidertracker · 20/10/2014 12:32

I used to give my parents a third of my wages. Thet said that was so I still had a third to spend and a third to save. They never asked if I did save though.
I plan to ask the same of my DCs when the time comes.

CherryDolphin · 20/10/2014 12:37

Really Letitbee Confused? I know quite a few people who took rent off their kids but didn't actually keep it for themselves and instead put it in a savings account for them for when they do decide to move out. I doubt it's that unusual, certainly not unusual enough to warrant a response of she is 21 not 2 - she can save if she wants to by herself - would you also wipe her bum for her just in case she misses a bit?.

wowfudge · 20/10/2014 12:37

Another one here who paid a third of their wages for board and lodging at home once earning.

wowfudge · 20/10/2014 12:41

Tbh CherryDolphin I don't see the point of a parent charging a child rent then saving it for them. Why bother taking the money if they don't need it to put towards the bills? Much better to have a chat about saving for the future and have the adult child learn how to take responsibility for the themself. If they don't/won't/can't, then they'll learn over time.

CherryDolphin · 20/10/2014 12:44

wowfudge right. But I still don't think it's unusual. And there's certainly no need to behave like a twat towards people who do things differently to you.

BackforGood · 20/10/2014 12:48

I don't think you are asking enough.
1/3 is very generous / reasonable.
I have to say, if it were my ds, I'd probably go with 1/2... as he's a real spender, so I'd rather help him by teaching him you have to pay your way first, and that wages aren't all for spending on 'fun'.
If it were dd who were the older, I know she's far more sensible with money anyway so would probably only have gone with 1/3.
Of course, I'd treat them the same if the situation arose, just explaining my thinking, depending on the child's personality.

Goldenlab · 20/10/2014 12:50

Ididnt charge my children rent when they lived at home with me because I knew they were saving hard for deposits so they could buy their own places. Which they have both done. However, if they had spent every penny they earnt on clothes and going out, I would have definitely charged them rent.

Original poster
healthwarning · 20/10/2014 12:51

she isnt studying , if i didnt need the money i would still take it , i think at that age they need to pay their way , i just wanted to know how much was reasonable to ask for .

OP posts:
ClangerOnaComeDown · 20/10/2014 12:53

It was a 1/3 for me to. Plus help around the home. Everyone should pull their weight financially and physically

Roseformeplease · 20/10/2014 12:53

I think you should look at the comparable cost of renting a room locally. This will be much more in some places than in others. Use this, transparently, as a way of working it out. Then give her a "family" discount, if you want. But, for her future when she does want her own space, she needs to be aware of what this costs. You might then "give" this back to her by saving it, or by having a slightly better standard of living for the whole family, just as you would with a lodger.

Fairywhitebear · 20/10/2014 12:54

For real??! No 21yr old living at home needs £795 a month! I'd be taking half if it were me.

Look at it this way. If she coupled up with a friend and rented (for eg), she'd be looking at a minimum of £300 on rent each month, PLUS council tax PLUS bills PLUS food.

You're a mug to just take £30 Wink

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/10/2014 12:57

I was earning about £800 per month at your dd's age and paid my mum £200 per month I also often paid for the food shopping although that wasnt expected

Missunreasonable · 20/10/2014 13:00

I think £50 per week is a reasonable sum. Enough to cover her share of the food and a small amount towards utilities.

pinkie1982 · 20/10/2014 13:01

As soon as I started working in an apprenticeship at 16 I paid 100 per month house keeping to my parents. That was 15 years ago. That was a quarter of my take home.
They put that towards bills and the family food shop. If I wanted something different than my mum usually makes I bought my own shopping.

Original poster
healthwarning · 20/10/2014 13:05

Fairywhitebear thats what my dh called me :) , thinking now maybe 45/50 a week then i wont fall out with dh and she still has a lot to play with .

OP posts:
Nomama · 20/10/2014 13:06

Another who paid a third and did a fair share of household duties.

But over time was mine. Dad tried to make a grab for it, built it into the monthly sum. So for 1 month I didn't do any overtime at all and had a huge row with him about it! That was one of the few times I won an argument over money with my dad.

Once you are earning you have to pay your way. All that 's/he is saving to buy a place' is crap - it is just extending the amount of time the bank of mum and dad have to be wholly supportive. A pay packet brings responsibilities with it...

WhatWouldBlairWaldorfDo · 20/10/2014 13:09

Both me and my brother used to give a quarter of our take home. So £200 for your dd. We also had to help around the house etc.
My parents didnt need the money, they have always been comfortable money wise, but it was just part of growing up. You earn and want to treated like an adult, so act like one and pay your way.

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